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my b/f has problems during sex.. HELP!
Alright... so my boyfriend and I have been have been having intercourse for like 4 months now. I was his first ever. The first time we did it, he didn't come. Isn't that unusual for a first time guy?! And lately when we do it, he is hard when he goes in, and then he gets soft inside of me and he cant get it back up. And I feel nothing really... no pleasure at all. What does that mean? Another thing that is bugging me is when I want to please him (orally) because i want to please him, he usually stops me and says that he is happy just being with me and he says he doesn't need for me to finish him. Honestly, what guy would not want that?! He is always giving and not receiving (even though i want to give). I was just asking if there are any really good tips you know that would arouse him, or make him have greater interest in doing it. Both of my issues that I am having are confusing and I have no idea what the problem is! Please help!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
well maybe he feels you are just doin all of this to please him. Does he please you orally? Some guys just get aroused by the fact of hearing their girlfriend be turned on. Sounds kind of odd but my boyfriend is like that. Sometimes just rubing your boyfriend in a certain spot that turns him on persay. For example maybe its his neck or leg. Figure that spot out if you already have use that to your advantage. Play hard to get, that turns a guy on completely. You could use lube ky you could use your hand instead. For example or you could talk to him about his sexual fantasys hear him out and if it is possible make them come true. You can tell him why you care bout him and if all else fails ask him why he is acting so odd, as i have said before relationships are more than just physical, it takes communication. So some night maybe just take time to talk, go out to eat, a movie something, besides having intercourse unless him leads towards it.
Good luck,
Brittni
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this probably mean that he is not interested in you and he gets really bored.the reason why is saying no to the oral sex is because he is not interesed in you,agian.
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wow that is pretty odd. the only explanation i can think of, is that he has some kind of erectile dysfunction. he probably knows it, and doesnt want you to know it, which is why he isnt letting you please him. this makes nonmedical solutions hard to come up with. the best one i can give you is try pleasing him in other ways besides through the penis. a guy's body is basically one giant gspot. on some guys the nipples are sensitive. there is also the taint (the area between the butt and penis) but that might be too close for comfort for him. the neck can be sensitve as well.
of course there really is the possibility that he is just a giver, and really prefers it, in which case you can take comfort in the fact that he is getting pleassure from pleasing you.
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Just a note dear, There is a rule against repeating questions: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
If you are going to ask a question to both individual columnists and to the pool at least reword it a bit so you don't get yourself reported and banned.
Now on to your question:
I could give some tips on what to do, but nothing you do right now is going to solve the problem.
Your boyfriend is having a problem, either mentally or physically, it is resulting is erectile dysfunction. He is deeply embarrassed by it, and that is why he avoids things like letting you try and ‘finish him’ orally, but it's not the kind of thing you two can just work through. You can't solve it just by being sexier. If he is having erectile dysfunction it wouldn't matter if you were the most attractive women on earth, he wouldn't be able to stay hard. It has nothing to do with you; it's his body that is holding him back.
There are two really important things for you to do here. The first, is don't blame yourself. Stop thinking that this is something you can fix, because it's not. Secondly, understand how totally embarrassing and confusing this must be for your boyfriend. Young guys don’t expect to have this problem, although they certainly can.
As far as sex is concerned, if you really want to find out how and if he orgasms you’ll have to become comfortable talking to him about his masturbation habits. Even people who have a sexual dysfunction tend to be able to masturbate to a climax. Talking to him about what he does to pleasure himself, might give you some tips on what positions, speeds and approaches to take when you are pleasuring him. Next, stop thinking that an orgasm is the end all and be all. If he does orgasm, that is wonderful, but stop putting so much emphasis on it in your sex life. Relax a bit and instead of worrying about him having an orgasm, think about how you can make it as pleasurable as possible. Try not mentioning orgasms during sex at all. You can have serious discussions about the problem later, but during sex stay positive and focus on the pleasure of the moment.
Lastly, encourage him to see a doctor. All the other things I just mentioned will make your sex life happier, healthy and less distressing, but they will not fix the problem and they probably won’t result in him having an orgasm with you. He needs a doctor to have this problem address. Remember that he is more embarrassed over this then you can possibly imagine. He is not going to want to see a doctor, but gently encourage him and remind him, nothing will really get better until he does.
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You sent this to my inbox to?
0__o
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Well, Im a virgin. Haha. So I have no clue how I would give you personal advice. But since you asked me this question, Im gonna direct you to a few sites. Becasue they will help!!
Inbox me if you need anytihng else babe. And good luck!
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location) -- Stuff for pleasing and stuff. Postions.. and other cool things.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location) -- Might answer some questions =]
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Honestly, me being fourteen, I have no experience in this area. But, I want to try to help you, so I did some research for some sites that should help you. Good luck, I'm sure everything will work out.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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That is very unusal for his first...for him not to bust...thats really weird...but the only thing i can say is ask him if he likes having sex...and try to figure out why he gets hard then soft when he starts...that might be a health problem...but that is even more weird that he likes giving not recieving...usually its the opposite...but talk to him about it and see what happens.
<3xoxBME
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Well I'm still a vigin but one of my good friends is a sex machine so I may have a few tips for you..okay well 1st of if he doesnt let you give him oral..try making him hard in a different way..maybe like kissing his neck and all those little things and then when he's inside of you try to keep turing him on so he stays hard and then he might see how its pleasuing him..so yah i'm not an expert but that just might work..and if it doesnt than maybe talk to him because maybe he's not comfortable. Good luck!
-Nikki
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