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My Father
My dad has yelled and cussed since I was born. For example, last night his sister called and I went over to him and I had the phone in my hand. I said, "Dad? Do you want to talk to your sister? Here's the phone." And he ignored me, so I put it down and was walking up the stairs, and he heard his sister leaving a message. He ran over to the phone, turned to me, and yelled, "YOU IDIOT! WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER IT?" And I didn't know what to say because I had asked him if he wanted to talk to her, but he didn't answer. I coudn't cry in front of him. I did once and he started screaming at me for it. Do I even have a reason to be upset for him saying that to me? I don't know. Sometimes I feel so stupid for getting upset over things like that and I don't think I have a reason to. I was trying to tell my mom something earlier and he walked by, glared at me, and said, "SHUT UP!" For no reason. He yells and cusses at me and my brother almost every day for no reason at all. I've talked to my mom before and she didn't do anything. The only time she's tried talking to my dad about it, he simply started cussing at me and her. He's okay one minute, then the next he's yelling like a maniac. I can't take this anymore. I'm still crying over something he said to me LAST year. Do I have a reason to be upset? What am I supposed to do?
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you have absolute reason to be upset! He is probably stressed out alot. maybe you should try to get him on vacation for a while for some time alone. your family could have a break and try to figure out his problem. for now try to steer clear of him and be nice as much as posible! GOOD LUCK!
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you most definetely have a reason to be upset. my father was exactly thesame way, and because of it, he ended up gettig furious one night and kicked me out of the house. but i am doing beter now than i evr was over there. i really hpe it does not get to this point for you, but feel free to talk to me if youd like- ive been there and done that.
AIM- nickelly7440
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I am very sorry to hear that you are dealing with this sort of thing. It may not mean much right now, but it is possible that your dad may be under stress and you are there and catch the hell. It doesn't make it right, understand, other issues are probably factoring in as well.You have a right to be upset by your father's behavior. Please don't take it to heart though, it is NOT your fault. Your dad probably has issues he can't discuss. He may need counseling, who knows. The main thing is, I don't want you to let this destroy YOUR self esteem. Please keep your chin up and don't let this get you down. I know when someone you love is angry all the time it prevents us from getting close to them. I know it is hard for you to maintain your emotions. I think you did the right thing by not giving him more fuel by not letting him see you cry. Just don't blame yourself...I read over this again and was not satisfied with what I said to you, If your mom is not doing anything either, then there must a be a very big problem. Is there any way you can talk to your mom about arranging some sort of intervention with your dad? This usually would involve your mom going to see a counselor on your dad's behalf. They do this sort of thing for drug abusers but I think it may be possible to find someone to act as mediator, who is a profeesional counselor. The more I think on this, it is something all of you are going through that is not getting any better. If your mom was willing to try this, it may get the wheels in motion. With an intervention, all of you would be able to tell your dad what he has done to hurt you and possibly show him how hurt you all are and hopefully request that he get help since his anger is tearing all of you up inside. You dad is being a bully to the people who love him. He DOES need help. Since his problem deals mainly with anger, see if your mom can possibly go talk to a counselor of some sort. If my idea doesn't work maybe they will have a better idea that may be more effective since they have the expertise that I do not in this case.
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Ah,this is something I can relate to.Crying is one thing you never want to do ,atleast infront of him.He has anger issues,or mayby hes bi polar.But crying and being upset and letting him know by emotions is just empowering him and hell do it more.but dont let him think its ok either,talk to him,tell him.He WILL yell but if you have to ,yell back.But dont ever think he doesnt love you,you are his child.i really do hope things get better for you.Sometimes its best to just talk to someone either older or more experienced to help you.Freinds,school counsler,or mayby even god.God can help when even the brightest of lights seem to dim sometimes.everything will be ok eventually,god never lets your prayers go unanswered for long.
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Always be strong is my advice. Your dad is having some anger issues that are not called for. Dads are NOT supposed to cuss and yell to their children. So, just remember, you have done nothing wrong. Block out every single thing he says that is false, ignore those comments. Your dad probably doesn't know he is hurting you that much.You are not stupid. Tell yourself this everytime you feel that you are, because if you don't, you will grow up with low self estem and no confidence. Your mom and your brother are going through the same ordeal so consult them and like I said before, stay strong. If things really turn out for the worst and your dad is hurting you so bad go to a school guide, teacher, or someone you trust.
Your dad has a problem, talk to him about it if you can, and if you can not,just be normal and follow my advice. Your dad loves you, he is just going through a tough time or has had a horrible childhood. Who knows, maybe he thinks cussing and yelling is no big deal.
Stay strong, no matter what, that is my advice.
P.S. I do not think school guides tell the parents but I am not exactly sure. Maybe if the situation is extreme. But, they (the school g.) are there to HELP you.
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I think you should talk to you dad. And try to talk things through with him and tell him how you feel about him acting like a jerk. See what he does and then message me back..Later and I'll help you as best as I can with your troubles.
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This is a really sad situation and you absolutely have every right to be upset, sensitive, and angry. Your father seems to have extreme anger management problems, he seems like an all around mean man. do you know anything about his childhood, such as if he was beaten or abused? that could explain why he acts this way, but even so, it is uncalled for and he shouldn't be yelling at his kids that way. I think that you should write your mom a letter, it's gonna be awkward, but it could really help. It seems like there are underlying reasons why your mother doesn't ever take your side. It could be because she knows something about your dad that you don't, it could also be because she is so worried about a divorce that she does not want to do anything that could upset him more. For now, you really need to let everything that your father says go.
please try to ignore what your father says, you really did absolutely nothing wrong, when he is cruel to you, you can be mad at him, but do not become angry at the world, it's going to take time for your father to change and right now you need to focus on your own happiness, which means getting out of the house more often, leaning on friends for support, and finding others hobbies that consume your time.
But please write the letter to your mom, it will really help, jsut be polite and mature, and if you choose to do that and need help with it, feel free to email me back and i will help you.
also, your brother is struggling with the same thing, so don't be afraid to open up and talk to him, he probably needs you as well
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