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I know no one can really tell me what to do. Its a "my choice" kinda of thing, but I need input.
I have a boyfriend and we'll call him Tom. Tom when we first started to go out, was nice to me and treated like a princess. Now that we have been together for a longer time, hes not. Tom behind my back to my friends calls me a bxtch, whore, slut, dumbaxs & anything else you can think of. Tom will tell my friends that they can't talk to me anymore, so now I'm down to like 5 friends when I use to had alot. He hung up on me last night on the phone and then today when I said something to him about it, he was all nice to me again.
What's the deal ? Should I break up with him ? I kind of want to, but I dont want to hurt him. I know me being happy is important but I shouldn't go around hurting his feelings should I ? ANY advice would help me alot. So thanks.
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to me this guy sounds like one of those two faced jerks that tries to keep you kinda under his control withiut you relizeing it...i'd break up with him he may get worse than that. trust me that has happened to me.
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You comes first. I know you have been going out for a long time but you don't need a guy that does that to you. He's twofaced. You need someone who will be honest with you.
Unless he's trying to make you look bad in front of his friends (which i don't understand) but it's not cool.
You need to talk to him about it. Why he says shit behind your back and acts nice to you in person. Just say.. "I overheard that you called me a bitch.. So what did I do wrong ?"
He's not being nice to you when you're not there.. So if that bothers you.. maybe just dump him.
But he needs to explain himself before and see what's going on with him. He's like.. hurting you but in a verbal way. It's just not right especially if you were nice to him all the time. You just do what you think is right.
If he doesn't change, he's probably not worth it. He might take it too far and start calling you those names to your face. Would you really want that?
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first of all, i know that it may seem that he was really nice to you at first and everything, but if he is a jerk now, then he was never really a nice guy. i noe that its very sad, but people have coverups and sometimes we get to know someone for who they really are not. so, i doubt that he could have just turned mean, he just had a fake identity before. for the friends that listened to him, they aren't you're true friends because they should not have listened to him. i don't mean for that to sound mean at all, but they definatley are jerks and deserve to hang out with eachother, because i don't think they deserve to be hanging out with nice people like you. but, it also depends where you are finding out this information. how is it that you know he is calling you all of these things? did you hear it from the friends that are turning your back on you, because if you are it seems to me like they are not a very trustworthy source. they are just as bad. so, what i say is try to think of where you are hearing this from. if you know you are getting it from a direct source, than i say that you should not be afraid of hurting him because he is definatley hurting you and he is doing something terrible to you. if you think that there is more to this story than meets the eye, you have to find out where its coming from because maybe tom really has nothing to do with this. hope everything turns out well. xoxo
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hiya my names sam and ive jus read your question and i bet u getting eveyone telling you you should dump him and if it were me first of all i would give him a chance to explain what his deal was and why he was been nasty behind your back. because your suppose 2 be his girlfriend and your suppose 2 be an important person in his life he shouldnt be talking 2 people about you making them think your a tart or nothing important, you say he us 2 treat you like a princess things shouldnt change.so you've got 2 options dump him telling him you carnt be with someone who really thinks that of you, or tell him you love him but he's really hurting you with what he's saying and you want it to stop. if it carries on then i would dump him coz he's not worth it and he doesnt think much of you. but like you said yourself i carnt tell you what to do only give you may advice so here it is.
yours truly sam x x x
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Some guys just act nice to get what they want, or get the girl they want. When they have her they'll just stop caring even though you their girlfriend, maybe thats how your boyfriend is? No one can tell you to break up with your boyfriend. You should do what feels right to you. If you don't think whats happening between you two will change then maybe you should break up with him, but before you do you should talk to him and tell him how you feel.
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i agree.even though, you're afraid to hurt his feelings, again, think about yours. he's calling you all these things, (that would hurt my feelings), and hang up on you, well boys do that. my boyfriend does that, and my best friend's boyfriend does that, too. its annoying.but if he's taking it to the point where you're loosing friends over him? thats not right. i think you should dump him. its not his place to choose your friends. thats my advice. hope it helps and everything goes well!
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I know you don't want to hurt his feelings, but think about this: how is he making you feel? I'm pretty sure he's hurting your feelings. My feelings would be pretty hurt if my boyfriend ever treated me that way. No one deserves to be treated like that in a relationship.
He's being way too controlling over your life. He can't tell you what to do or who to hang out with. I honestly think you should break up with him. You don't need a guy like that in your life. You don't need to get hurt. Put his feelings aside and focus on your own.
♥
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That's good that you know your own feelings are important, because most people tend to forget about themselves whenever it comes to other people's needs. Which is a nice thing to do, but still. Both people should be happy.
It sounds to me like your boyfriend is way too controlling and he's not letting you live your life, and have all the friends you want to have and everything, and you should be able to have that. Also, what kind of boyfriend is he, insulting you like that? No true boyfriend would sit there and call their girlfriend all those names if they really liked them.. especially to their girlfriends FRIENDS.
It sounds to me like he has little repsect for you, and wants you only for himself, which isn't right.
If this isn't a happy relationship, then I suggest getting out of it and breaking up with him. Sure, his feelings are going to get hurt, but they're going to get hurt no matter what happens, and you might as well get out now before your feelings continue to get hurt, too.
Over time, he'll move on. Over time, you'll move on. Take each relationship as a lesson and learn your mistakes and grow from them for the next person, hopefully better person, that's going to come along in your life. ( I know I sound like a fortune cookie or something, lol ).
But I hope I helped.
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ok you need to dump his ass!
if you don't want it to hurt, say you want to change your status bak 2 just friends, it feels less like a rejection/brakeup
just whatever you do, do it fast, cause that guy is an ASSHOLE!
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