Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


Sexually active??


Question Posted Monday November 6 2006, 1:22 pm

Alright. My boyfriend and I have thought a LOT about having sex with each other. I really want to and I'm ready but I'm only 15, and if I explained to my folks that I need birth control, they'd kill me. I know I'm ready because we've been dating for quite sometime, and I'm very in love with him and I want him to be my first. We've planned to stay together for a while and I'm not one of those girls who just blabber on and on about how I love this person so so so much. I take things seriously and I don't say I love you every 5 minutes because it's something very special to say. Not only do you have a healthy, good physical relationship with each other, we've got an amazing emotional one too. We're so open with each other, it throws me off guard sometimes. He's my best friend in the whole wide world and we even broke up with each other a few months ago but we never stopped talking like we do now and we didn't stop seeing other. He's amazing, I love him, and we can't ever get enough of each other. At school, we're together, and then after school we're on the phone until bedtime. Then on weekends we're together. Theres always things to talk about when we're together and theres always things to do. We get along amazingly and we have a really strong connection. Hes so practical and logical too. He's very smart with his decisions and he's helped me along so well. I've had a lot happen to me the past few years and I went off track but now my life is great and things are going smoothly. See now I want to have sex with him, and I already think my parents suspect that we fool around. Would fooling around be considered sexually active? Do I sound ready for sex? Someone please help me, I've talked to him about this as well and he doesn't know what to do. We need some clearing up!!

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?


looloo12 answered Tuesday November 7 2006, 4:16 pm:
tel your mom you want birth control cuz u've beeen having a big period flow lately. thats if you dont care about lying that is

[ looloo12's advice column | Ask looloo12 A Question
]




Ahnee answered Monday November 6 2006, 8:17 pm:
well the fact that you're asking other people if you're ready might put up a little red flag that maybe you're not. but you seem really into eachother and if you really believe you're ready then you should. just be safe, both of you. and I'm not sure where you live but there are states where you can get birth control without asking your parents (like my state..for example). Just don't rush thing because you're like "oh, we've been together for like 6 months...isn't it time already?" do it when it feels right. but i can't push SAFETY enough (condoms, the pill, etc.)

[ Ahnee's advice column | Ask Ahnee A Question
]



emilyy answered Monday November 6 2006, 7:59 pm:
I am also 15 and understand what you're saying. But deep down if you aren't able to tell your parents because of their reactions, are you mature enough to do this?

What if you get pregnant, would you be able to tell them?

Even if you are mature enough, you still aren't an adult and you aren't out in the world on your own.

If you still feel like you're ready, which you most likely will, (I'm not trying to discourage you or make a decision).

About fooling around, everyone will give you a different opinion. Even if your parents are wrong, they will probably still consider fooling around as being sexually active. They don't want to hear that their young daughter is turning into a young woman.

Whatever you do, be careful

- Emilyy :)

[ emilyy's advice column | Ask emilyy A Question
]



karisue answered Monday November 6 2006, 7:15 pm:
only you, yourself, can decide whether or not you are ready for sex.

we, can't.

it's in your mind & you know what you want to do.
if you have no doubts whatsoever, then go ahead.

if you are ready for all the consequences, such as heartbreak, pregnancy, std's, & even losing your relationship you have now, and what i mean by that is, starting to have sex, may mean giving up all that communication you two have. if you start having sex, more than likely you'll start to do it more often & lose that real connection you guys used to have.

i can't tell you to wait, but i can't ask you if you truly are ready & feel all right about the consequences.

if you are having doubts, then don't.

[ karisue's advice column | Ask karisue A Question
]



Melody answered Monday November 6 2006, 6:15 pm:
If you say you are ready, then you are ready. If you are having second thoughts then you aren't. Sex is something very serious that you shouldn't take lightly and you sound like a girl who's very much aware of all of the consequences and already knows everything I could possibly through out there to you. Do I think you SOUND ready? Sure. Does that mean you ARE ready? No. Only you know that one.

Your relationship sounds wonderful, and remember that having sex won't make it any better, and that if you do plan on spending a long time together, there isn't anything wrong with waiting until you are 100% positive it's what you want to do.

And yes, fooling around is qualified as being sexually active. And you don't have to tell your parents that you want to be put on birth control. Health Departments will give you birth control for free without your parents being there. If that still scares you, just make sure you guys use a condom, and make sure to use it correctly.

[ Melody's advice column | Ask Melody A Question
]



x3babiigirl7805 answered Monday November 6 2006, 4:58 pm:
well no one can actually tell you if you are ready for sex .. you need to make that choice .. although you sound extremely confident in your relationship and with your boyfriend. which is always great in a relationship.

[ x3babiigirl7805's advice column | Ask x3babiigirl7805 A Question
]



bscotch answered Monday November 6 2006, 4:42 pm:
well just to let you know i am sexually active with my boyfriend and i am also 15 years old.
-it sounds to me that your ready, and that he is too.. the first time you have sex expecially since its with someone you love should be a very soulfull experience and it seems like you have it
-now with the birthcontrol..you can ask your doctor and they will give it to you and not tell your parents..thats what i did and then when i was ready i told my mom..you can also get birthcontrol at plan parent hood..but even if you do go on birthcontrol make sure u still use a condom for at least your first cycle. beacuse birthcontrol doesnt prevent chlimydia hiv or anything like that..just as long as you know that and that you know everything that BC has to do with..good luck (:

[ bscotch's advice column | Ask bscotch A Question
]



Razhie answered Monday November 6 2006, 4:38 pm:
Fooling around, if it involves the genital area in anyway, would be considered sexual activity.

Yes, you sound ready for sex. HOWEVER, sounding ready for sex and being ready for sex are completely different things! Any reasonably intelligent young lady, which you clearly are, can pick up the right kind of words to 'sound' like she is ready. That does not make her ready.

I would never encourage someone at 15 to have sex, no matter how perfect and mature their relationship might be. Sex is a complication, and at your age, it is a completely needless one.

There are a few practical matters here to address: if your parents aren't comfortable with you having sex, or even more seriously, of you are not comfortable talking to them about your sexual choices, then you probably shouldn't be having sex.

It also concerns me, that despite you and boyfriend’s maturity, that nowhere in this question do you mention which or how you will be acquiring birth control.

It’s great that you love your boyfriend. It’s great that you are both so serious and it’s wonderful that you are enjoying ‘fooling around’, but none of that means that you now must have sex. Sex is not the thing to do just because you feel like you’ve done everything else. In fact, that is the worst reason to have sex.

I know in the end you will do whatever you want to, but you asked for advice, so here is mine: There is no reason not to wait. You plan on standing by this guy so the time will come, just give it a year or two and enjoy the place the relationship is in now. Sex wont make your relationship ‘better’ or ‘deeper’, but it will complicate things and introduce new risks and challenges.

[ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question
]



marti answered Monday November 6 2006, 4:36 pm:
First I want to say that is sooo cute!!I COMPLETELY understand your situation I am 16 and been with my boyfriend for 7 months and we plan to stay together forever but anyway if you two have talked it over than yes you seem like you are ready to have sex and sexually active is sex not fooling around. Be safe though yes always use a condom no matter what and be careful because sex sometime s does ruin things but dont let that stop you

[ marti's advice column | Ask marti A Question
]



kaitX3 answered Monday November 6 2006, 3:34 pm:
It sounds like you're probably ready to have sex. You and your boyfriend have obviously made up your minds that you want to have sex. However its really good that you are taking the right precautions in a way of protection and practicing safe sex. There is always the option of using a condom. If not you can get birth control from planned parenthood. You don't have to have a parents consent to order it. Also you can have it delivered to your house or the place of your choice.



Hope I helped!

[ kaitX3's advice column | Ask kaitX3 A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: a question about aids
Next Question >>> cum /bj

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker