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found out about child abuse
I am a 21 woman (living at college) and my neighbor at home is a 15 yr old boy and he got to talking to me about stuff, he calls quite a bit and that's fine, he doesn't really have people to talk to a lot because he's very popular in the high school so he has to maintain an image or whatever, you know how high school is, so he can't really open up to anybody. Anyway he calls me about stuff and I give advice whatever, he treats me like I'm his mom or something (his own mom was never in the picture really) so anyway his dad got re-married last spring and he was fine with the stepmom at first but after a while he started changing and he was calling late at night really upset. Finally he told me why, he said his stepmom's been coming in his room at night and doing stuff with him, I won't be graphic but you can probably figure it out. So I called CPS and they ended up dropping the case, and his dad thinks he was lying, but I know he's not. He's been able to keep his stepmom out of his room and is staying weekends with his aunt and uncle, but it just sucks that he has to go thru this and he's got a lot of trust issues now. Sorry to be so long but you kinda had to know the backstory in order to answer my question, which is how can I help him thru this, what do I say to him? All I've told him so far is that I believe him and I don't think it was his fault.
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You are a very confident 21 year old woman holidng on to a young boy's life. Let him know you are there for him, and try to get him to try speaking up about it, without telling his father. I know it may seem to nosiy, but it is the right thing to do. He has not opened up to anybody but you. Your trust counts. Followyour heart on this one by calling the CPS you're smart. That means you know exactly what to do. I have also been molested as a child but had never told a person to this day this boy was a church member, and a very close family friend. He had grown up to become a gangster, hustlin' drugs, and such. Of course I will never forget what he did, and I also will never forget the people who were there for me to help me through it.
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hello. My opinion in all of this is that maybe you could confront and explain the situation to the father. He may begin to wonder things about why his son is telling you this, but you could explain that he has no one else. Its worse that he doesnt have his mother in the.picture to help him through this, but in the end it will mean a lot to him that you backed him up adn supported him in this. Just keep supporting him, help him with where to go with this and if he wants to confront his father, tellhim if he needs it, youll be with him when he does. Also maybe talk to a councellor or something that could help him with the deeper part of this because you cant make him better, he needs further help from a professional. All the best luck
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wow...hes got the first step down...talking to someone and letting somebody know about it.im a very good listener tell him if he ever needs to talk im always here. you did a good job calling CPS and letting them know. as of now, there is nothing you can do, his father wont believe him which is horrible not to believe your own son but tell him if he feels uncomftorable just to come to your house, if thats okay, make sure he feels safe there and that he knows he can go there anytime he feels unsafe. Hope i helped i will pray for this boy =[ feel free to ask anything you want. God Bless.
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Maybe you could explain the situation to the father. He might start wondering why his son is telling you this. You could explain that he has no one else. It will mean a lot to him that you backed him up and supported him in this. Just keep supporting him, help him with where to go with this and if he wants to confront his father, that youll go with him if he wants. Also you should definately think about talking with a professional councellor because you cant make him better, he needs someone that knows there stuff really good. I hope this helps.
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Hey,
Well first of all by supporting him and re-assuring him that this is not his fault and that you believe him is one of the most if not the most important thing you can do for him right now. You should also encourage him to seek counselling from a professional.
If CPS dropped the case it just means that there was not enough evidence at the time of the investigation, it does not mean that they closed the file. If they have suspicions they will keep an eye on the situation and even make random visits.
I hope this helps, let me know if you have any other questions.
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Here is my advice to you....
I am so sorry to hear that. But I would just try to stay with him and just try to stay out of that topic. If he brings it up then you should take to him about it, or call his dad and talk to him.
I hope that this advice works
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You have done some of the very best things you can do: You've been a supportive, caring, rational adult he can turn too. But you aren't his guardian or his keeper and he is not an infant. A certain amount of positive action in this situation is going to have to be taken by him.
Encourage him to speak to a counselor, gently and firmly push him in the direction of professional help. If this situation is what he says it is, he needs someone more skilled then you (no offence meant) to speak too. If this situation isn't quite what you've been hearing, he is in even more need of someone else to speak to.
He will resist this suggestion, but be firm. Speaking to a professional, just a counselor or a therapist, is the very best thing for him. If his case needs to be re-opened, they will be a powerful ally. Even if that doesn’t happen, a counselor is better positioned, not just to help him through this, but help him mend his relationships, or at least make it tolerable with his family.
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There are two ways to view this:
1-He could possibly be making this up
2-This is all true.
I highly doubt it's 1 but take that into consideration. What's a CPS?? Anywhos this is NOT his fault. There are a lot of sickos out there molesting their own child or stepchild etc.
Since you're an adult and he only trusts you (which is very fantastic since he has someone to talk to about these problems)you need to keep that trust somehow.
From what I've read, his dad does not look like a dad to me at all. If he's going to trust someone who he has known for less then five years over his own son who shares his blood, the dad has problems.
You should suggest that he gets a little video camera or of some sort and have a little night light on in his room and have that video tape on all night (make sure he hides it) that is probably the only way to get this lady..i think. Or at least that's all I can think of.
But the most important thing you should do is to always be there for him, be patient with him, listen to him, etc. I say get the lady in trouble but if he doesn't want all this commotion going on in his life, I suggest he stays away from ome as much as he can. Staying with a relative, sleepovers etc. If he wants he really really need to tlak to his dad. But don't push him to do anything. Let him do it when he's ready
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