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everyone always says that you should be totally comfortable before you have sex, and that if youre nervous youre not ready.. but then people always say youre gonna be nervous your first time. so how can you tell?
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You should be totally comfortable with the PERSON you are going to have sex with. Not the idea of having sex in general. No one is ready for something bigger than a .. hotdog to go into the vagina for the first time. NO 0NE. Most people just get used to the idea. Usually girls are going to be nervous about having sex the first time. However you should be totally comfortable and not have any second thoughts about the person you are going to have sex with.
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when you are in love and you are totally comfortable with your boyfriend/girlfriend than you wont be nervous about the decision to have sex .. you will be nervous about the experience but not your choice
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yes you should be comfortable when havein sex and comfortable with who you are haveing sex with yes you will be nervous for your first incounter with sex but you will no it feels right but dont be pushed in to anythink you dont want to do and allways use a condom or some kind of protshion good luck x
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if youre with a boy you really like and you start doing other things and if he tries to have sex with you and you have no problem with it but just have little jitters cuz you've never done it before, then go for it.
you'll know the difference. right now it's probably not-ready nervousness.
point is, don't rush it. that might lead to regret and that's not a fun feeling.
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Im a virgin but from what i know, its natural to feel nervous when your trying anything new. Just make sure you guys have protection and be aware your taking a HUGE risk with STD's and stuff like that. hope i helped.xoxo
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your going to be nervous.
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You're totally right, there is both different ways to be nervous, though.
If you're nervous and you're uncomfortable with doing it, you're probably thinking my head,"Do I really want this?" "I'm not ready" "What if I get pregnant" "I'm not 100% sure", etc. Then you're the kind of IM NOT READY nervous. Which of course, I wouldn't suggest you continuing any further until like you said before, you're fully comfortable and ready mentally and pyshically.
There's also the just plain nervous. You are right, everybody is nervous their first time. They're just worried that it won't be good, how's it going to feel, etc. But even though they're having all these thoughts, they're still thinking "I really want this person to be my first no matter what", and they're fully ready to handle it. They just have a ltitle case of the "heeber jeebers", if that's what you want to call it, lol.
So trust me ; if you're heads saying no and thinking of all the horrible possibilities, you're "not ready" nervous.
But if no matter what happens, like I said, you want this person to be your first, you're just wondering maybe how bad it's going to hurt and everything and how it's going to feel, and you're totally ready, go for it.
I hope I helped.
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This website will answer your question. :)
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The idea of "if you're nervous, you're not ready" is bunk. Of course you're going to be nervous!
However, if you're SCARED, then you're not ready. There is a difference.
Here are a few good ways to know if you're ready:
(1) Are you over 16? That's a legal issue, but it's also a practical one. If you're under 16, odds are you're not emotionally ready, even if you think you are. It's been my experience that most people who start too early end up regretting it.
(2) Can you talk frankly about sex with your partner? You will need to for two reasons: birth control, and to determine what his/her history is so you know you're reasonably safe from STDs. You'll be betting your life on this one, so make sure the trust is solid.
(3) Consider: why are you doing it? There are lots of bad reasons -
- "I just want to get it over with" (You're not pulling a tooth. This shouldn't be something you "get over with", it should be something to enjoy.)
- "Our relationship needs a boost." (Physical intimacy should be a celebration of a relationship that's already sparky, not something to do because you're bored.)
- "He'll leave me if I don't." (Let him leave, and find someone new who will respect you. This goes for both genders, BTW.)
- "Everyone else is doing it." (With the exception of using deodorant, this is a bad reason to do anything.)
So, to answer your question: How can you tell?
The answer is, you'll never be sure. Welcome to real life, where you can never be sure about anything. But you can be sure when you're NOT ready, so listen to that voice until it goes away. Then follow your heart while using your head (and a condom), and enjoy.
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Its totally normal to be nervous the first time you have sex (I don't know anyone that wasn't) so I think the idea that if your nervous your not ready is a rule that will only lead to a lifetime of virginity!! And therefore is not a really very helpful rule. I think the question is more do you want to have sex with the person despite being nervous about it? and and are you excited at the same time as being nervous? if you answer yes and yes, your ready!!
OWEN & DANNII
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