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why dont my friends include me
my friends always make plans to go places like the mall the arcade the movies etc. and they never invite me. i dont think they do it on purpose but when they are planning whos going to go they never ask me if i want to go and they know i never have anything to do. i hate it and when i ask them if they want to go with me they never want to go. i hate not being included it really bugs me and stuff.. for example today my 3 bestfriends are all having a girls day out today of course no one asked me if i wanted to go and i tried hinting that i was bored and wished i had something to do and they dont get it. i dont want to be left out anymore i always talk to them and say ya know what how come im never invited and they say oh sorry we will include you from now on and the next time they go somewhere they invite me but then they forget again. i tried just hanging out with other friends instead but the same things happen with them. its like im not loved by my frineds.... they will talk to me in school but they have their other friends. i only have 1 friend that i hang out with alot but shes so annoying and i avoid her sometimes and im wondering if my other friends think im annoying and thats why they ignore me. i hate this soooo much noone wants to hang out with me. im not shy or anything i dont understand why my friends would rather hang out with their other friends. :(
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
well... they don't really seem like friends to me, but i don't know them. i don't think it's just that they don't want you around or you're annoying or anything... i think they sound pretty shallow... and if they were doin that to me i'd ask what's up with the not inviting me ness, it ain't cool, if we ain't really friends tell me strait up. and for all those other friends you say you hang out with at school but they have other friends they hang with outside of school instead of you... maybe you just ain't found the right people yet that really care about you and want you with them all the time... believe me i know... i'm in 10th grade and just found people who really care about me... even though i've known them since 8th grade... it takes a while and i was a loner for quite some time b4 them... "Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit." ~ Aristotle... i hope i helped
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"i tried hinting that i was bored and wished i had something to do"
They might actually get the 'hinting thing' and think, "Why doesn't she just ask?".
They might also wonder why you seem to get upset when you’re not invited but you never actually ask them if you can come.
Personally I find the whole, "well I'm bored and have nothing to do", as being a complaint which sounds like it‘s directed at them (since you‘re telling them) and makes you sound moody and whinny/ needy.
Why don't you just ask them straight out?
Example, "That sounds like fun, mind if I come?".
Show that you’re interested in what they’re doing and that you want to come.
Also, another great idea is for YOU to suggest/ plan something to do with them. It shows that you are truly interested in hanging out with them and gives your friends the perception "she wants (/is allowing) us to hang out with her", instead of the "ugh, she it doing the whole 'hinting thing' and is trying to tell us she wants to tag along'.
Be assertive, ask them if they want to do stuff and have some suggestions and when you know they have plans tell them straight out that you're available and you'd like/love to go (show some positive interest).
...and if that doesn't work, then maybe they really aren't your friends. I don't know them so it's hard to say. Try what I said, if it doesn't help maybe you should question why you refer to them as your 'friends'.
Good Luck.
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It's like they aren't real friends who care of how their friends are feeling,what is bothering them,I guess they just are the type you can never count on,believe me when I say that its rare to find real friends who are there whenever you need them the most,help you out,include you on things they do,try to see if you are the problem ask other people you know if you are annoying,if they say you're not then it's your friends who are the issue,if you do not see an improvement in their actions towards you then you'll see that it's a waste of your time talking to them,about including because you see that nothing has changed,so what's the point,even though other friends of you are the same keep on trying to meet other friends,sooner or later you'll have someone to hang out with at school,other places, and trust me on this I know what I'm telling you.
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i was in the same exact situation. i had 3 best friends who never included me and then they eventually replaced me with someone else! i was so annoyed by this, but then i realized that if they aren't including you then they aren't your real friends. if you really do like you then they would include you. i'm not trying to get you upset i just want to let you know what is going on. i would try getting some other friends who will include you in there activities. if you really want to hang out with those other girls then plan the event yourself. be like "hey do you guys want to go to the movies tonight?" and if they don't want to go, then ask them what else they are doing tonight and why they are busy so that they will invite you.
good luck :]
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This same thing happens to me, what I do is just be realllly friendly to them and be nice to them. If they say "oh lets go shopping tonight" you should speak up and say "yeah! that's a great idea! what time are we going?" then they should get a clue that you want to come with. If they STILL dont invite you... invite yourself. If you overhear them talking and say something like "ok so we're going to the movies tonight to see ___ at _:__" but they say it really queitly so you dont hear... just go there by yourself and 'coincedentaly' see them and just hang out with them. if they STILL dont invite you or include you, you should seek new friends. just forget about those girls and find new friends that actually include you!
I hope I helped!
-volleyball2150
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