Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


humorist-workshop

Older Guys and younger girls


Question Posted Tuesday August 22 2006, 3:01 pm

For the past 2 years I have gotten really close with this guy who is A LOT older than me. He's 36 and Im 14/f But latley we've gotten really close. Like were dating? I don't know. its not like he's a pervert or anything. But I've i guess fallen in love with me. We're both musicians and we share an amazing passion together. I can stop it whenever I want to , but i can't. I guess you can't help who you fall in love with. The thing is that no one knows about it and hes married! So im really confused. but if i tell my mom or anyone there goes my lessons with him and band and everything ive worked for. and i love him. what should i do and is this okay that were together?

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


AskCourtney333 answered Thursday August 24 2006, 11:04 pm:
Woah... that is not okay..

You might think he is a nice person but that is totally against laws. does he "love" you too? if so do you know what a pedaphile (sp) is??? he sounds like one... get to know boys your age not a man that could pose as your father!!!! (sorry if i am being harsh i am just trying to speak my mind and keep you from danger) i think you should tell someone, maybe a guidance counseler at school or someone if he is pressuring you into anything. he is married he is 22 years older!!!!! i don't think you should get your hopes up like i said before he is older much older and married.

sorry if i was harsh
take care message me with anything if you want

&hearts Courtney

[ AskCourtney333's advice column | Ask AskCourtney333 A Question
]




proper_emma answered Thursday August 24 2006, 1:32 pm:
This is harsh.. but have you heard of the film hard candy? about the phedophile? (sp i know lol)In that the guy is 30+ and the girls is 14 years old.... You are 14 years old and it is wrong that he is talkin to you in this way, especially if he is married!! I know you love him, and it will be hard for you, but dont you see that it is wrong for a MAN that age to be talking to a 14 year old girl like yourself?

Imagine if it was your friend that was talking to this guy, and not you, how would you react? I believe that you should stop talking to this guy and move on because you are to young to be with him- you have only just turned a teenager and are not even legally able to have sex yet!! Think about it... XXXX

[ proper_emma's advice column | Ask proper_emma A Question
]



Tulipg17 answered Wednesday August 23 2006, 8:10 am:
You need to tell someone about this right now. It isn't your fault, you didn't do anything wrong, ok? Please tell a trusted adult so you can get the help you need to get through this.

[ Tulipg17's advice column | Ask Tulipg17 A Question
]



Greyskate answered Tuesday August 22 2006, 8:20 pm:
no its definently not rite in any way to be with a friken 36 year old who's married. also if his wife finds out it could be pretty bad for you not only him and you'l have way more problems than if you just brake up with him without anyone ever knowing

[ Greyskate's advice column | Ask Greyskate A Question
]



xEVYx answered Tuesday August 22 2006, 6:50 pm:
Do you ever watch the news? If you did I think you'd know that it's def not ok. Even if he's nice to you and acts like the best person in the world you never know what he might be capable of doing.

Do you know what a pedophile is? I think you should go to this site [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) and read it all. It might help you make up your mind about this guy.

Really, how can you say he's not a pervert when he's married, but shares a passion with a 14 year old? He sounds a little sick in the head, and I think you should stay away from him for your own good.

=] Evy

[ xEVYx's advice column | Ask xEVYx A Question
]



more_than_a_feeling answered Tuesday August 22 2006, 5:57 pm:
No, it's not okay to be dating someone who is 22 years older than you. It's sick. Please tell your parents about it or cut off your relationship with this man for your own sake.

[ more_than_a_feeling's advice column | Ask more_than_a_feeling A Question
]



littleblufirefly answered Tuesday August 22 2006, 5:22 pm:
Please, go talk to your mom right now about it. She won't be mad at you or think anything less about you, but this is wrong on his part. I know you feel like you have a connection with him, but this is what pedophiles do to manipulate young girls. Just trust me on this. You have to tell someone about this and stop it before anything else happens. He has to be reported. Him being married, which is the least of your worries, is very wrong. I don't know how else I can stress this to you. Please contact me asap (e-mail XBrooklynHeights@aol.com, s/n XBrooklynHeights) so I can help you. This is so important. <3 Dana

[ littleblufirefly's advice column | Ask littleblufirefly A Question
]



trishieloo answered Tuesday August 22 2006, 5:13 pm:
Honey, I'm going to try to give you advice here without sounding too harsh. I realize it is hard to find someone that you really connect with, but this man is not the person you think he is. For one, he's married, which most likely means he isn't in love with you. He is also a criminal if he is having any type of a sexual relationship with you, even if it isn't actual sex. The best advice I can give you is to stay away from him for awhile because he does not love you.

[ trishieloo's advice column | Ask trishieloo A Question
]



trailer_trash_girl_XXX answered Tuesday August 22 2006, 4:29 pm:
you are a really messed up girl
you should get away from this homo stalker molester...
HE's gunna rape you!

but give me his email address and I'll tap that...

HE'S MARRIED, STUPID
you're only 14...

but if you really love him- ask him to adopt you...

[ trailer_trash_girl_XXX's advice column | Ask trailer_trash_girl_XXX A Question
]



Razhie answered Tuesday August 22 2006, 4:26 pm:
No. It's not okay.

Even if the age difference wasn't there: He is married. Also it sounds like he might be a teacher of yours, which makes it even more immoral, and then there is the fact you feel you have to keep it a secret. Ignore the age difference for a second; all of those other things I just listed equal an impossible and terrible situation.

But you didn't need to ask that question dear, you already know it's not okay.

So how about figuring out what this not okay thing you two are doing is? Define 'seeing each other' and define 'dating'. What is it you are doing together exactly?

Crushes are fine and fantasies are great! It's okay for you to have these feelings for him. What isn't okay is getting your feelings and reality mixed up. Take a good look at what he says and does around you or even talk to him about his feelings for you. That might help you sort out what is happening here. Either realize he isn't interested in you that way OR figure out for sure that he is a rather scummy person who thinks it's okay to use his position to flirt with you and cheat on his wife.

Either way, you need get over these feelings. If he is interested in you in an improper way (although I have to be honest dear, I very much doubt it) you should tell somebody, because he could hurt you, and his family, and other young girls too.

I promise you dear, if a thirty something year old wants to cheat on his wife with a fourteen year old, not only is he a deeply disturbed and self-centered person, he is not the kind of person who will only cheat once. There would, and maybe already have been, others. Don't break your heart over him. If something that isn't okay is going on, tell an adult you trust. You'll be saving your own heart and many others as well.

[ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question
]



caramella answered Tuesday August 22 2006, 4:22 pm:
This guys a total psycho.Seriously keep away from him.He pretends to be all nice and makes you feel comfortable with him so that one day,hell have sex with you against your own will.Trust me ive seen ALOT of cases like this.Hes waaaaaaay to old for you!!And hes using you and what makes that obvious is that hes MARRIED.He doesnt love you!!Not at ALL actually.He probably has problems with his wife or she doest give him what he needs so it got him into a psycological problem.Find a guy younger than that before he rapes you and you end up depressed.You never know WHAT hell do,he can kidnap and rape you.Dont go to that music lesson thing if you have to,just keeep awayy from him.

[ caramella's advice column | Ask caramella A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: What to feed cats?
Next Question >>> make out

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker