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Best Friend Says She Wants To Kill Herself
I am seriously getting stressed here! My best friend told me yesterday that she was through with life and she wanted to kill herself! I've been through this before with another one of my friends. It turned out that that friend wasn’t going to commit suicide she was just really depressed but I had told someone. Now it’s happening again with a different friend so I told my mom this time. I let her read the conversation we had and then my mom was just like "All I see here is a very angry child trying to get attention." I don’t see it that way though. My mom had said that out of the 100% of people that say there going to commit suicide, 98% don’t and 2% do. My friend said that sometime before high school is over she's going to kill herself. I have 4 years to convince her not to, but I tried a ton yesterday. She said its not helping and that I shouldn’t be her friend anymore. I love being her friend and I understand that she's trouble from home life (her mother doesn’t trust her!
Her brother doesn’t like her, and her dad abused her but has stopped). What should I do? I really don’t want my friend to kill herself but she doesn’t understand that!
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Ok...well I can give you the point of view of your friend because I was once in a similar situation...If I were her I would hate it when people tried to "un-convince" me...and I would just want all the bad things happening to stop...so this is where you come in...find out what's really bothering her and try to fix it...if it's un-fixable try to make things better and more comfortable for her...Do something really special for her (like a suprise birthday party) and make her see that not everything is bad in life...and this is very important: if she needs help...always be availiable...I
f none of this helps...you should go to a help line and ask what you can do...sometimes you have to rat out your friends but only because you love them not because you want them to be in trouble...and she needs to understand that...that your trying to help her and not to make things worse...I know it took me a long time to realise but I eventually did...and look...here i am today helping someone else...all she needs is a kick in the ass the get her back on track...hope this helps...
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~unluckychick~
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Okay first of all, I think your mother is being very in-sensetive,
I mean PEOPLE WHO ARENT DEPRESSED its really hard for them to COMPREHEND and UNDERSTAND how bad a person feels when they are depressed, and how much it HURTS. Seriously, you have a very kind heart, suggest your friend talk to a counsular and get help. Tell her its for her best interest and that you love her, and you want her to get better.
because i know a lot of people when they are depressed they think theres no way out and that they are going to be depressed forever until they kill themselves or something, sometimes people want attention, but others really need help.
Try helping her get help, and jsut be there for her during the process and after.
<3
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I think you should tell her the good things about life.Like her friends,music,her family,movies etc.Tell her that you are her best friend and that your always there for her no matter what.
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I've been in the same situation...
What ever you do, don't let her push you away to the point where you both aren't talking to each other. She wants to see how much of a loyal friend you are. She's like testing the limits of your friendship i guess.
NEVER say it's someone just getting attention. Even if it is you have to take everything they say seriously. Has she ever tried before? That will be a sure sign that it's not attention seeking, it could just be a cry for help. If she hurts herself thats another sign she could do it. But if she's not in either of those categories it IS less likely, but never impossible.
All you can really do is show her that you're there for her and that you love her and try to always have someone around her. Even if that means telling someone like her mum or who ever then you have to make a descision. Whats worse? Your friend killing herself, or you breaking her trust to save her? If you REALLY can't tell anyone, comprimise with your mum and let her stay at your place for a few days. Because depression is a roller coaster so if you can help her through this she WILL come out ok.
Good luck with it!
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All you really can do is tell her to not to worry because things will get better soon and that you'll be there for her. What I am basically trying to say is to try to make her feel that she's not alone and even know she may rufuse and still says she will keep talking her into it and she will probably won't.
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You need to tell her parents or some other trusted adult in her life. I know you want to help her but
it is taking its toll on your life and that isn't fair.
I don't know the actual statistics and they really don't matter. The real fact is you can't take the chance that she WON'T do it. You would never forgive yourself if she did.
Depression does lead to suicide and if this friend is depressed like your other friend then getting help for that depression is very important.
What it boils down to is that you cannot carry this burden by yourself. Tell someone. If you think her family wouldn't get her help then talk to a counselor at school or someone other adult that can help you help her.
Read onemans column. I believe you have the link.
if he doesn't respond to the inbox question in a
couple of days, email him. He is very good. :)
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I agree with you; her threat to kill herself should be taken very seriously. Assuming your mother is right and only 2% of people who say they are going to commit suicide actually attempt it, that means that there is a 2% chance your friend could do it. It seems to me that any percentage is high when it comes to suicide.
I would recommend talking to an adult outside of her family; they do not sound very trustworthy. I think your school counsellor would be a good choice, or you can call a Crisis Line (in the phonebook) in your area. Crisis Lines are very informative and will know exactly what steps should be taken.
It sounds like your friend seriously needs to work with a some type of psych-worker. I would strongly encourage her to also talk about the abuse with a professional - the abuse should have, and still should, be reported to the Police or Child Protective Services. I can assure you that it is a major contributer to her suicidal thoughts.
This sounds like a very serious issue that would be overwhelming for you to try and deal with on your own. You are clearly a true friend. I hope your friend gets some help.
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There isn't much you can do to save your friend. But try telling someone that she really looks up to and cares about. Have that person really talk to her about what she's thinking about doing.I know that whenever I feel upset, talking to someone i really care about helps me. Try a teacher she loves, or a pal that she's had for a while. Good luck.
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