|
The third wheel?
So I have these two friends, Shelly and Gina. You see, when I hang out with Shelly and Gina separately, we have alot of fun and there's no problems. But, whenever I hang out with them together, like all 3 of us, i totally feel like the third wheel and they leave me out. They're always walking away without me, hugging each other, and telling each other they're each others` best friends. Sometimes it feels like they don't even know I'm there! For example, we were shopping at Old Navy awhile ago and they kept trying on the same things and telling each other what to wear, but when I said I was gonna try something on or I liked something, they either totally ignored me or walked away. Also, people always seem to associate them with each other and invite both of them to things, but not me. I'm pretty sure Shelly is doing it purposely, but Gina probably isn't. This is really making me feel bad. And it's not like I can move on and hang out with my other friends, or hang out with them separetely all the time, because i take dance with them 5 days a week and that means we're all together ALL year long. Any advice on what I should do? Thanks.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
What I believe is happening , just as you hang out with each one separately at times they also are hanging out with each other some times without you, and this is why it seems like they have such a bond when you're present .
Inspite of you all friendship you are still different people in personality etc. and I am saying this to say even if you all of you are sensitive in nature but you handle it differently from one another
for example :
your friend who you think is purposely ignoring you;I believe she's aware that you spend time with the other friend without her and she has taken an offense by this and therefore her way of getting back at you is by treating you as if you're not there; and the other friend she's obviously giving more attention may not be aware of the game; I am sharing this with you for the sake of understanding why this is happening to you and to open your eyes .
My advice to you is to sit them both down and explain to them the way they make you feel when you're all together; and let them know that whenever you spent time with each one one on one, you wasn't doing this to hurt the other, and you can go a step further by saying that each of you do have a right to spend time alone with either friend individually if you choose to however what is inappropriate and unjust is when a group of friends get together and one is being ignored this is unexcepted. and then let them know if you all gonna continue hanging out those things that's causing havoc needs to be exit out .
Because I am a minister / spiritual advisor my best advice would have been to advice you to show yourself more friendly by communicating more when you all are together but the problem is not your communication , it is the absent of comunication from those around you and with this being said the above paragraph is my best advice due to the circumstance . remember
forgiveness + forgiveness = more forgiveness
God Bless You
]
You could make small comments like when they walk away go "hellooo? what about meee??". Or when they try on outfits just quietly ask them if it looks cute on you or if they have any suggestions. Make small comments to make them remember you're there!!
]
First, make some new friends. Get close to some people, espically since schools talking.. start talking to other people. Don't ditch them.. just yet. Just get together with other people. Then, in dance.. talk to the other people in there.
Then, after you make new friends, yeah you gotta talk to them, love. How are you gonna either move away from them, or make anything better, if you don't talk to them about it? You have to. If they end up telling you, that they don't want to hang out with you anymore, then they suck.. & they don't see you for the great person you are. & plus, you'll have people to fall back on.
I hope everything works out for the best =)
kbye
]
I think that you should talk to them and tell then how you feel and what your thinking. If they get mad or don't understand then maybe they aren't such great friends. but you should most deffinatly talk to them and stuff.
]
i was going to say confront them , but since you don't want that answer, make it seem like to both of them you feel hurt or leave them out.... you DON'T have to talk to them. after 3 days they'll question themselves and go up to you and ask you what's wrong..THEN that's the part where you tell them.
tell me what happens after that!!!!
***HERSHI WISHES HUGS AND KISSES***
good luck!!!=)
]
This is the same problem I have. I can have the most fun time with both of my best friends seperately. But when we are all together, I become invisible to them! They keep hugging each other, playing games for only to people, telling each other secrets and not me, etc. I would just tell Shelly what you feel and if she gets angry at you and decides to ignore you and ditch you/call off the firendship, she's not being a true friend. Try suggesting games for three people or that all of you guys can enjoy in. When they start to leave you out, say (jokingly) Did you guys forget about moi?
The only other advice I have is to sit down with them face to face and tell them what you're feeling.
If you have sleepovers, don't invite just them and rick the chance of getting left out. Invite other friends and have fun with them while Shelly and Gine have their own fun.
]
More Questions: |