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alcoholic mom
ok so my mom is an alcoholic and shes gotton 2 DUI's and she's gotton in a drinking and driving accident and shes gone to rehab and goes to alot of AA meetings but she still drinks aout oncce or twice a week and the only peoeple in my house is my mom and my little sister and me, since my dad died of cancer a few years ago. and since im the oldest i have responsibilty for the family since my mom cant really take care of me and my sister. i really want to talk to her and try to live a normal life but i dont know how. i just need advice on what your opinion would be on waht i should do.
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ok well i can help the best i can but here is a suggestion why don't you ask her to sit down and talk with you tell her how much you love her but the drinking has to stop because she doesnt know how much she is scaring you and your little sister give her a hug and tell her you love her!
abercrombie13
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I am sorry that you have to deal with all the stress you should find out if there is a relative you should stay with then tell your mom that you and your sister are going to move out until she checks herself into a 24/7 rehab center and when she is cured you will come back. i know what its like to not have a dad my dad also died of cancer
hope this helps
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dont be scared, just think.. its your mom & you knew her before everyone in life & youll feel better once you talk to her about it. just tell her how you feel, shell understand! good luck :]
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Hi
Although I can't possibly know what you must be going through, I just wanted to add something to the advice you've gotten so far.
You mother's addiction to alcohol has absolutely nothing to do with you or your sister. I hope you never blame yourself for the way things are.
I have been through addiction, and it can pretty much take over your life. I'm sure your mom would love to clean up and be a better mother to you and your sister, but at this point she can't or won't. Again this has nothing to do with you.
I guess I just worry that you already have so much on your plate with taking care of yourself and your sister...and well...your mother too, that you will start to find yourself depressed, and really angry. You shouldn't have to deal with all of this on your own....being a teenager (I'm assuming you are) is hard enough.
It's important that you have an outlet..someone to talk to, even if that someone is on this site. You need help dealing with everything that you have to deal with.
As far as talking to your mom...you could definately sit her down and tell her how you feel, but just keep in mind that she is sick and as much as she may want to change she will have alot to overcome to do so. If it was easy, I'm sure she would have done so by now.
Just be there for her, tell her you want your sober mom back, and get in touch with someone from a support group that you could attend to share your story with other people that are going through what you are. Here is the website for alateen which helps kids in your situation.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Good luck, and take care.
Brenda
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Im sorry. I really am. My mom is an alcoholic also. I know from first hand experience how hard it is to deal with. I have a younger brother, and my dad doesnt live with us. If you have a close family member, calling them and telling them the situation usually helps. I have tried talking to my mom about not drinking, she gets defensive and it usually makes her drink more. So i would say dont try to talk to her about it. I have learned how to take care of my brother and myself without my mothers help. For me the hardest part about having an alcoholic parent is that when they have to drive you places, or when they are with your friends. I know it is very very hard to live with. Im not sure what to tell you what to do, because i havent figured that out yet either. You will get through it. Just remember that, and remember when you are older, dont drink. I will never drink, because alcoholism runs in the family, and i am damn scared to have it. I dont want to put my family through anything like i had to go through. And you wouldnt want your family to have to go through what you are going through now. Goodluck. Talking to friends and family helps. I hope everything works out. It will eventually be over, just pull through.
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Wow, I'm so sorry. I really am.
It's good to share your feelings with a friend, but it's also important to talk to an adult you trust. A school counselor, teacher, or a coach may be able to help. You could also try talking to your D.A.R.E. (Drug and Alcohol Resistance Education) officer if you have one. You can even try and find a sympathetic uncle or aunt to talk to about it. Because alcoholism is such a widespread problem, there are many organizations that offer confidential support groups and meetings for people living with alcoholics. Al-Anon, which is an organization designed to help the families and friends of alcoholics, has a group called Alateen that is for young people living with adults who have drinking problems. Alateen is not only for children of alcoholics, it can also help teens whose parents may already be in recovery. Another group called Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) also offers a variety of programs and resources for people living with alcoholics. You're not betraying your parent by seeking help. Keeping "the secret" is part of the disease of alcoholism - and it allows the problems to get worse. As with any disease, it's still possible to love a parent while recognizing that he or she has alcoholism. And it's not disloyal to seek help in dealing with the problems your parent's drinking create for you.
If no one that you talk to can help you then you can try this:
Make sure that she is not drinking.
Relax and without sounding angry, say, "Mom? Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Then wait for her to give you her attention.
Continue and say, "I can't keep living like this my whole life. When you drink, I have to be the one in charge. I have to take care of myself and (your sisters name). I just can't do it anymore. I just want to be like everyone else and live a normal life for once. I love you but, please, mom, just please, stop drinking."
If you feel that your situation at home is becoming dangerous, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE. And never hesitate to dial 911 if you think you or another family member is in immediate danger.
I hope I helped!
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my dad is an alcolhic.. one thing is.. you can talk to em anytime.. my email is meganwags2000@sbcglobal.net and my aim is MegElizabeth x33 you can talk to me abotu anything.. you need to talk to her about it SHE WILL DINY IT go to aa website. find a meeting near by and tell her you'll go with her!!
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My mother is an alcoholic too. I'll be blunt. Most of the time there is nothing you can do about the drinking. However, you can always ask to sit down and talk about it with the family, assuming that your sister isn't too young to understand. Offer to do her errands. Make it so she's not under as much stress. That would be my advice. As for my mom, I ignored it and learned how to take care of myself, since I was the only child that lived with her. But, all in all, do what's best for you and your sister. That's my advice.
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