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Mom trouble..
okay..
Basicly my mom has anger problems..
Her anger is causing many problems, and her relationships with the family are at stake.
She has LOTS of anger and I think the anger management classes would be a waste for her, because she needs to know whats bothering her. If i try to tell her, she'll start yelling and slamming things around saying why do you think i'm crazy..i don't need those fucking therapists telling me whats wrong..blahblahblah.
Are there any ways to MAKE her go to therapy?
so maybe someone could help me out?
i'm pretty tired of living with this.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
If she wont go to therapy, maybe you should. They will help you find ways to cope with your family issues and if you can move away with another family member to get some space. You cannot change or help someone who doesnt want it.
I hope i helped. Good luck
-Keosha
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I know how you feel. My mother, father, X...all are like this. What I've learned from this (and I know you don't want to hear this) is there is absolutely nothing you can do to make her do anything. She probably doesn't think there IS really anything wrong w/her. It is my guess that she thinks it's everyone else who is creating the difficulties that SHE is experiencing and if everyone would just do everything the way she wants than everything would be perfict. My mother said the same exact thing when therapy was suggested. Of course what they think isn't true, but your mother doesn't want to face the fact that she has a problem. She sounds like she has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). IF that is the case here than there may not be an incident in her life which is causing the anger. These people can be born w/the disorder. Then there are those who are created by a parent who has the disorder. From birth we learn how to react to situations in life from our parents. They are all we have when we as young ones to mimic. If we have a parent that doesn't respond well to stress then we may mimic the inappropriate behavior and it will appear as though we have the disorder when it is actually learned behavior. Whatever the situation your mother falls into there is nothing you can do. Your mother has to want to make the changes for herself and the more you nag her the more she won't do anything. Again I know this from experience. What I suggest for you is to work on yourself. You need coping skills. You can't change your mother, but you can change how you react to her and it will make your life easier. There is an exceptional book that would be excellent for you to read on this subject. The book is, "Stop Waling on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder". You can get this book in any bookstore, or Amazon, etc. It has everything you need to know about this disorder and plans of action. I've also included a support group website. It's a great interactive site. Everyone there is dealing w/the same situation you are and you can ask any question you want about this disorder and you will have tons of replies. People will share their experiences w/you and share what has worked for them when they were in your situation. It can be a relief for you to be able to communicate w/people who are experiencing the same thing that you are. I know this is difficult for you and it weighs on you greatly. Don't worry about her anymore because she isn't worrying about you, this is a particularly difficult disorder to crack. Some say it is incurable and some doctors don't even bother treating these people other than druging them. I personally don't think they are incurable, but the only way that they can be cured is if they admit their problem and seek help, which in most cases doesn't happen. This is why I say to you that what you need to do is work on your coping skills and learn how to deal w/it. Now what I'm saying to you is not "Deal with it" or accept your circumstances. What I'm saying to you is learn how to talk to her differently and learn different approaches to potentially emotional situations and achieve a potentially less stressful end. It won't always work, but you can minimize the incidents. A great place to start is the book I suggested and the support group. If you have more questions feel free to contact me. Good luck to you and I wish you the best.
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Namaste!
LULABELLE
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Before I type my answer, what you need to know is that you're dealing with abuse.
People who are being abused need to get help. Keeping the abuse a secret doesn't protect a person from being abused - it only makes it more likely that the abuse will continue.
If you or anyone you know is being abused, talk to someone you or your friend can trust - a family member, a friend, a trusted teacher, a doctor, or an adult who works with youth at school or in a place of worship. Many teachers and counselors, for instance, have training in how to recognize and report abuse.
Telephone directories list local child abuse and family violence hotline numbers that you can call for help. There's also Childhelp USA at (800) 4-A-CHILD ([800] 422-4453).
Sometimes people who are being abused by someone in their own home need to find a safe place to live temporarily. It is never easy to have to leave home, but it's sometimes necessary to be protected from further abuse. People who need to leave home to stay safe can find local shelters listed in the phone book or they can contact an abuse helpline. Sometimes a person can stay with a relative or friend.
People who are experiencing abuse often feel weird or alone. But they're not. No one deserves to be abused. Getting help and support is an important first step to change the situation. Many teens who have experienced abuse find that painful emotions may linger even after the abuse stops. Working with a therapist is one way for a person to sort through the complicated feelings and reactions that being abused creates, and the process can help to rebuild feelings of safety, confidence, and self-esteem.
Jess
♥
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Oh all that sounds horrible. I've never been in that situation, but I know how it can be to try to be communicating something to someone and them just NOT getting the picture or understanding. Well I think this problem is out of your hands, try getting your dad and sibblings together with you, and close family, talk about it, maybe have an intervention. Because it sounds like if somethings not done, then worse things could happen. Your absolutely right too about she needs to find out whats wrong with her. Anger is always fueled by something, it has to be. And the right way to figure it out is to talk about it. I know it feels really difficult to communicate to her right now right? I mean honestly, angry people - sometimes means they are holding on to things they really need to let go. And sometimes you need help letting go. So try gathering loved ones with you, and all going to talk to her, something needs to be done soon.
I hope EVERYTHING goes well soon,
I'll pray for you. Let me know how things go.
You can IM me at KaylehMae <3
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First of all i am sorry that you have to live w/ that in the first place. Secondly, make sure if you ever approach her on this that its a very calm approach & that you dont think shes crazy, just think shes making life hard but going off in her tranturms. Tell her that the therapists arent just going to tell her whats wrong, just tell her how to fix it. & tell her that its making things hard for you & your family as well. And that you really want her to go, make sure its respectful but shows that you really think she should. If that doesnt work, or you've already tryed that. Try telling other ppl in your family - maybe her parents, her siblings or someone closer to her in age, and also still close to her, i think if she hears it from more then one person she'll realize it more.
Hopefully that helps! Keep me updated, and i'll def give more advice if you need anything more ♥
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