hello,
my name is kelsey and i am 13 years old....ive been a cutter for as long as i was 11 or so. i cut for many reasons...my moms ex....was a mager alcohalic..and one night he cam into my bed room..and he was toaching me in ways i didnt like..i was only 8 years old...and lots of times he would beat my mom..and i waould hear her screams in mybed room...one day it was so bad i had to whatch i didnt no what to do....but the neighbors caled the cops..thank god..and my mom was taken to the hostbital. she was sent to a place so she could recover but she ran away...i had to stay with my grand parents for a week. when my mom left him 3 years ago i was so happy...but i still cut my self becuz i think of how how so many kids get a normal family and have a great child hood.but i dotn get to now.and now she has a new bf i will admit i love him hes very nice but some day i hate him with a pasion..please help me i dont want to cut anmore but i still love the pain....my mother knows i cutshe found out twice but doesn do anything about it...i dont think she loves me....please help me!!!!!
thxz..kelsey
I'm a cutter, too, and have been for only a couple months, but it's scary, isn't it? It may seem like your mother doesn't care (I thought the same about both my parents) but I bet she does. You see, finding out something like that is really shocking.
I'm sorry you've had to go through so much. I can't even begin to imagine what you're feeling. I do know that once you see something or hear something, it's very hard to forget and from what I've read about you, that's pretty traumitizing.
Alright, to the advice part of this. Have you ever heard of the butterfly project? Whenever you want to cut, draw a butterfly or a heart or something that has some meaning to you on the skin where you cut. And my Lord, keep the thing alive! If you cut before it fades away (naturally, no scrubbing!) then you've killed it. If you have multiple drawings, then you've killed ALL of them.
Eventually, you'll get to the point where you'll want to see it fade away and you'll have pride in knowing that you kept it alive. I can't begin to tell you how happy I was after my first butterfly made it through!
Trust me, it'll get better. Hang in there, love :)
EmoNerd answered Tuesday January 29 2008, 5:59 pm: Well Kelsey,
I cut myself to i do it because it makes my feelings about me feel better and on top of that i pop pills and i have been for like 2 years and i am 13 too so i can really relate to you my email is xxscarysteroidsxx@yahoo.com email me swe can talk more hope you get better
emmykatee528 answered Friday June 8 2007, 8:31 pm: i cut for the longest time, my dad would abuse me. my bro would hate me and my mom would blame me i felt it was the only way it just got worse and worse and worse, but now i go to a theripist and it helps it really does, and it helps to ware rubber bands and snap them everytime you want to cut.
xXnOoNEZtHEREXx answered Tuesday March 27 2007, 1:48 pm: IM A CUTTER MYSELF AND AT TIMES IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE NO ONE EITHER BUT YOU CANT WORRY ABOUT THAT.YOU NEED TO BE STRONGER THAN THAT.IM GOING TO GIVE YOU TWO STEPS YOU NEED TO MAKE,AND I WANT YOU TO DO IT FOR YOU.I WANT YOU TO SIT YOUR MOTHER DOWN AND ASK EVERYTHING YOU WANT...TELL HER HOW SHE MAKES YOU FEEL...BE COMPLETELY HONEST.THERE IS NO REASON FOR YOU TO FEEL LIKE THAT.IF SHE CHOOSES TO GET YOU HELP AND BE THERE WITH YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY THEN I WANT YOU TO MAKE SURE SHE FOLLOWS THROUGH WITH IT.
IF SHE WONT HELP YOU OUT I WANT YOU TO GO TO THE CLINIC YOURSELF,OR SOMEONE YOU TRUST AND TELL THEM YOU NEED HELP.DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE???DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO IT FOR YOURSELF???I KNOW YOUR STRONG.DONT LET ANYONE BRING YOU DOWN.
please dont keep doing that to yourself
babyygqirlx3 answered Friday July 7 2006, 7:46 pm: Hey.. I know what you are going through..
I'd like to start off by saying I've been in the position you are in because A LOT of bad stuff has happened to me recently.
First my parents got divorced, it sucked so much. When I turned 10 my mother got remarried to a complete asshole. He chocked me, he hit my mother.. he drove us off the road, he threatened to kill us many times, and he beat me. A year later ( after my mom married that guy ) I found out my grandfather went to jail for raping a 19 year old mentally challenged girl 2 times. In between 2005 and 2006 my mother was going through a divorce with her husband that abused us. His son sexually harrassed me 24/7 and it got to a point where I couldn't go home anymore.
I know sometimes cutting seems like the only thing you can do because its a way of channeling your pain and your anger to a different place. I used to cut a lot. But i realized, either way the pain is going to stay with you and you can't change that. Your problems will stay with you. I'm not telling you to cut at all, so don't get that idea. What I am saying is, cutting is worthless. It leaves ugly scars behind and stupid memories that you have to try to forget.
To help stop yourself from cutting, get rubber bands and wear them around your wrists. Snap them as hard as you can so you can feel that pain, instead of cutting yourself. It doesn't leave the scars that cutting does, and it isnt dangerous like cutting is.
I hope I helped and if you ever want to talk you can IM me..
tjam106 answered Friday July 7 2006, 1:24 pm: Kelsey, sweetie...DON'T DO THAT! I am so sorry you have had such a bad time in your life, but you don't need to do that! You need to seek help. If your mom isn't there for you (and shame on her if she isn't), you need to reach out and find more support. Maybe an aunt, uncle, grandparents...If you don't have those resources available, School is right around the corner. TALK TO YOUR SCHOOL COUNSELOR! That's what they are there for. It is confidential (to an extent) and they will know what to do to help you. Please honey, you need to turn to someone. You can't fight this battle on your own and cutting only leads to more serious issues. Check out the internet for information on cutting. Do a Yahoo! seach on teen cutting. You will find a bunch of sites there. There are better things you can do to channel your anger. But please Kelsey, please stop hurting yourself. If you wanna chat, my name is Jamie. I am 28/f and I have a little boy who is 8. My aol sn is cruzfam106. I'll be there if you need me.
Take care of yourself! [ tjam106's advice column | Ask tjam106 A Question ]
lia answered Thursday July 6 2006, 5:43 pm: dear kelsey,
Im sorry your going through such a painful child hood.If your mom cannot hear your cries for help try talking to your grandparents,or as i do try and seek a counsiler it will help let you get things out more. I understand what its like to feel so much pain to were it's at the point that you feel like you can no longer stand it. try getting a journel so you can put your most deepest thoughts in there and/or write poetry.MAybe your mom loves you sooo much and shes just scared an confused i know ur going through a hard time but put urself in your moms possition too im sure it will help.when your upset instead of cutting go to someone that you know u can let everything out too. [ lia's advice column | Ask lia A Question ]
sweetjewel answered Thursday July 6 2006, 5:06 pm: in order to change you have to want to change. ask your mom to take you to a therpist so you can talk it out and stuff. try writing your feeling in a journal. instead of cutting put a rubber band on your arm and whenever you feel like cutting put the rubber band [ sweetjewel's advice column | Ask sweetjewel A Question ]
Jah25 answered Thursday July 6 2006, 3:05 pm: Kelsey-
I'm so sorry for the pain and disruptions your childhood has had to endure. I myself come from an incredibly broken and messed up family so I have a very good idea of what you are going through. First, the cutting. If your mom isn't hearing your cries of help, you need to see another adult that will get you the help you need. Go to your grandparents, an aunt or uncle, a friends parents, whomever you need to until someone sees that you have a major problem. It sounds to me like you might need to see a therapist. You definatly need someone to talk to you about these feelings you are having in regards to your mom, her boyfriends and your messed up childhood. I know that right now it may seem like nothing good will ever happen in your life again, but thats so far from the truth. Everything I went through as a kid, made me the stronger, better person I am today. But first, get help with the cutting. If you need any other help, please just message me.
rawrrrxitsxmimi answered Thursday July 6 2006, 3:00 pm: just an idea, but everytime you feel like cutting yourself, cut something else instead
like a pillow, or something
also, there are a lot of really great therapists out there.
do some research online or something and find a therapy group or something
&& im really sorry about what happened to you
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