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do you think this is right of her to say this?
ok. i have 2 best friends who i've been inseperable from since like 4th grade (one of them though since like kindergarten). and now i'm going into highschool. we're always together, (most of the time lol) i can tell them anything, we have so many laughs and fun times together, and i can totally be myself around them, which is great because i'm really shy. but last year, well technically still this year..lol 8th grade.. the one who i haven't been friends with since kindergarten..lets call her Jen. well Jen has been occasionally telling me some stuff about the other friend "Rachel" about how she annoys her sometimes, and stuff like that. ok so i was just talking to my friend Jen online. and this is sort of what she tells me:
she was like: no offense because i know you are really good friends with Rachel but i really dont like hanging out with her. then she gives me all these reasons why. she also telling me that she thinks Rachel has become conceited, and gave me a reason. "she just like acts immature sometimes and tries to be funny when she's not" thats also something she said. "like I'll be her friend and everything.but i definitely don't want to hang out with her a lot in highschool"
so my question is. do you think it is right of her to say this? we're supposed to be BEST FRIENDS, yet she's saying all this shit behind Rachel's back. i don't want our friendship to just die, i mean i have the greatest times with these two girls. high school will be a huge change and we'll make new friends and everything but i don't want it to completely tear apart our friendship. idk i just can't believe she's saying this because i feel like i have the best times when all 3 of us are together and now if Jen doesn't want to hang out with Rachel it will never be the same. what should i do/say to her? do you think it was right of her to say this? if you want the reasons of why Jen said what she said then give me your email and i'll tell you. thank you.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I think you should tell Jen that she can talk about Rachel behind her back all she wants, but not around you. Make sure she knows that you won't take it. Explain to her that she doesn't have to like Rachel, but you are friends with her and she shouldn't put her down like that. Tell her that if she doesn't like something that Rachel is doing, she can always talk to her about it and ask her to stop. If she is talking aobut Rachel behind her back to you, she might be talking about you behind your back to Rachel. May not be happening but you never know. Everyone has their flaws, yes , and no one is perfect, but she should still respect her. hope i helped!
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She has every right in the world to say those things. Shes probaly just trying to be honest with you. Not everyone can be the best of friends. She is just trying to tell you her feelings. She said she'd still hang out with her, right? It just means she won't consider her best friend anymore or whatever. Its not a big deal. Really, its not. Come highschool, you might not even talk to Racheal or Jen as much. You might just stay really good friends wiht one. Or none for that matter. Don't worry about it, & everything will be fine. You could also say something to Rachel. If you agree with what Jen is saying. If you agree, then just say very nicely like "okay stop it." or something. If you don't then just act like Jen never said those things & don't worry. You can't really do much more.. without causing major drama between the 3 of you.
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ok I reeallly dont think this is right. this happened to me once. Talk to "Jen" and tell the truth, that you dont think this is right. she could be saying the same thing to this other girl about you. thats called fake babe and its really hurtful when the other persoon finds out. I think you should tell the truth toy you and your friend. and my email is:
strwbrryshrtck212@yahoo.com
Hope im a help:)
<33
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For what your friend is doing 'talking crap behind one of your closest friends' back isn't the right thing to do.
This is what causes drama, most of the time.
But if you ever talk to the girl who keeps talking about your friend, Jen I believe you want us to call her. To tell her she needs to talk to Rachel about this whole problem and to stop trying to get you in the middle of it.
You can't really force her to be Rachel's friend. And you can't really force the group to stick together, though you did say something about "High school is a big change and we'll make new friends."
You can go and make new friends that won't talk about your other friends behind their backs. But you can still hang out with Rachel, and still have good times with her, and still hang out with Jen. Though you three don't have to hang out like you two used too.
But you can still remain friends with the both of them.
But if Jen keeps talking about your friend Rachel. Just tell her you don't want to know, you don't want to be put in the middle of anything or loose friendship with anyone, and just to go tell Rachel how she feels about it NOT you.
Hope I helped, good luck, and have fun in High School.
-Paper_Heartsz
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Well I dont think that it was right of "Jen" to sayy all that about Rachel. But if that is her oppionion then maybe yall will have to deal with the fact that yalls friendship isnt what it used to be. Someone told me once that you find out who your TRUE friends are in middle School--or Junior High-or whatever--lol.
It kinda sounds to me like "Jen" is worried about what PPl will think about her for hanging out with Rachel, but that is just myy oppionion.
Things happen for a reason--and we all just wish that we knew every reason that God has for doing stuff--but none of us do.
I think that Rachel and Jen need to talk about it with eachother--Jen needs to tell Rachel her feelings----so that yalls friendship can be healed.
Myy advice to you is to get them together so that theyy cann fix it. and it would be good for you to be there too.
Hope I helped..if you havve anyy questions about myy advice e-mail me at princess_all_4_me@yahoo.com
thanx,
Kissyfurr
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this happens to me a lot with my friends. I just get sick of them and complain about them but then i get over it. just let your two friends have their space and soon "jen" will probably become friends with rachael again.
hope i helped
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I wouldn't say that talking nonesense behind another persons back is ever the 'right' thing to do, but if that is the way Jen feels you are just going to need to deal with it.
You can't force someone to be friends with you and you can't hold a group of three bestfriends togeather if one of those bestfriends want out.
If you still like Rachel and consider them both your friends you could certainly tell Jen you aren't interested in hearing the bad things she has to say about Rachel, but that is about all you can do.
You can continue to invite them both to hang out with you, but it might not be as much fun for anyone anymore amd nothing you do or say to Jen will makes things like they were before.
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