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jealousy problems

Question Posted Monday May 15 2006, 4:47 pm

I really need advice. I'm so low in self esteem its crazy. I'm dating my bestfriend and im completely depressed. I love him SO much and he seems to be happy and he loves me too. But, I'm not happy. I get so jealous all the time, because he hangs out sometimes with his ex-girlfriend. Then i feel like i'll never compare to her, and i push away from him and put up this emotional wall. I'm not always unhappy, but im afraid of loosing him and thats when i get upset. Is there anything i can do, to stop getting jealous and start being more self confident? I also hang out with my ex too, and i know its not fair that i get mad when he does. Oh someone please help me!
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mishieFACE answered Tuesday May 16 2006, 5:54 pm:
Im not always happy but not always depressed either. i get jealous a lot and dont mean to. I put up that "wall" as you say to and sometimes do get afraid of loosing my boyfriend to. He gets jealous just like me but he's gotten a lot better now a days and isnt as much as he used to. How long did your boyfriend date his x. If its not that long of relationship i wouldnt worry about it. They could be just good friends now. Talk to him and ask him if he still has any feelings for her.


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snowbird answered Tuesday May 16 2006, 10:27 am:
Find things that make you feel good about yourself. An activity or etc that your good at. I dont think you confidence level has anything to do with your BF, it sounds like thats something you came into the realtionship with. Its normal to feel jelouse a bit here and there but try to remember, shes his ex for a reason and he chose you.

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AskWhatever answered Monday May 15 2006, 9:01 pm:
WoW i DEFINETLY know how you feel! Well first of all just talk to your boy n tell him that you have no feelings for your ex and there is NO reason to be jealous, also tell him that as long as he is ok with you hanging out with ur friends its ok if he hangs out with his (even his ex, and even if it bothers you) Yeah it will bother you but as long as you KNOW he would never cheat on you or do anything to hurt you then its ok, and if he would then maybe you shouldnt be dating him. Trust, communication, and lovin each other is the foundation for ANY good relationship. Thats my advice for that situation.
Now for your self esteem issues, heres a couple tips!
1)Work on what you dont like, whether its your body or just your mind. Workin out every once in awhile is great, even if it does nothin it will make you feel better about yourself and healthier too
2) Whenever you are tired or feel crappy just take a long shower n put on some nice clothes, trust me, lookin good will make you feel better about yourself. Even when there is no one to impress.
3)Have fun and look at the bright side of things(just try it) put on ur favorite music(not sad music because that will only make you feel worse)Music that pumps you up will help if your tired or bored.
4)Dont just sit around when your bored n tired either, call a friend up, go outside, if its the weekend then go hang out with friends (even if you dont feel like it now, you will feel better later)

Just hang in there, you will do great. You have friends n a boyfriend that loves you (otherwise you wouldnt be dating) Just chill out and enjoy life!

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angelgurl2007 answered Monday May 15 2006, 6:36 pm:
Talk to your man.....tell him you don't appriciate him hanging out with his ex...becasue him and his ex is the to need to stop hanging out with your ex..becasue they are the past ya'll is the future...because my boyfriend made me stop talking to my ex....and if he really love you...he will listen to you...and respect you...but if he don't...sorry yo say this he still got feelings for his ex..i don't want ya'll to end up in jerry springer...girl...whatever happens write me...p.s.....NEVER SHOW A BOY THAT YOU JEALOUS...O.K....HOLLA..

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here2help1143 answered Monday May 15 2006, 6:25 pm:
Good question, I have the same problem, what I would do is just do something that helps your self esteem, like wear the perfect outfit the next time you are around your boyfriend, you'll feel great, knowing that you look great, and as for his x-girlfriend thing, the only thing i can tell you is to just try to talk to him about it and know the signs when he is flirting with her if her even does, i hope everything works out with you, hope i could help ^_^


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speedstreet answered Monday May 15 2006, 6:02 pm:
if he didn't love you and didn't want to stay with you he'd dump you so he does like you and if he didn't hed dump u and go out with his ex there jus friends i am friends with my ex's just when he is hanging out with her tell your self he loves you not her

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Devina answered Monday May 15 2006, 5:59 pm:
Maybe he's jealous because you hang out with your ex, so he hangs out with his... That's what happens to me and my boyfriend (and he's my best friend too!!) Sisters!! ^_^ Well, talk to him. Tell him that you don't feel really well seeing him with other girls. In relationship, honesty is the most important thing. And we always have to be open-hearted with our mates. So, try to tell him how you feel, and that will build a stronger connection between you two. Try it! I hope it'll work, actually, it always works.
I wish you the best luck!! Lots of love,
PS: Usually, when a boy dates his best friend, meaning that he really loves her. Because you've known each other so well... don't worry, for him, you're number one.

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DefinedEyes answered Monday May 15 2006, 5:52 pm:
Well I would go get help if you think you are depressed, or talk to your boyfriend, tell him how you feel, and how you get jealous. He will understand, and if you need some reassuring that your the one for him, talk to him about it.
Just remember that his ex girlfriend, is his EX beacuse she is not you, and the thing that matters is that you have the guy. Everyone fears losing something they have always wanted and finally got. Its completely normal to be jealous, but you cant let it get to you, like you said you hang out with your ex too, as long asyour relatoinship with your guy is healthy and you start to become happy, everything should be alright<3


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