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my boyfriend cuts
i dont know what to do
he always says he hates his life and wants to die
there is stuff EFFED up in his life but not to where he should die i mean its not THAT THAT BAD considering his mom died and his dad sometimes beats him. but his dad really loves him a LOT he can just be an asshole to his dad.
hes like 'im going to cut myself like rite now' and all this stuff because it "RELIVES STRESS FOR HIM" i dont know what to say
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First and most important, you need to be there for him. Be there to listen if he wants to talk and show him that you're not going to just leave.
Second, you have to understand some misconceptions about cutting. It is NOT a suicide attempt, it is a method of coping, however it is not a good method of coping. Although to people who do it, it does offer a release from tension and overwhelming emotions for a period of time, usually those emotions come back accompanied by guilt, shame, and/or anger with onesself for giving in and cutting. Cutting is definitely a cry for help. In your boyfriend's case, it sounds like he is doing it at least partially because he needs someone to notice what he's going through and help him. It shows signs of a deeper depression that needs to be treated before it evolves into something even more serious, such as suicide attempts.
Okay, now for what to do.
1) Don't freak out. Ask him why he's doing it, what he's feeling about it, and ask him if he wants to get help.
2) Tell a counselor. Generally I do not like school counselors, and I would say tell his dad, but if his dad sometimes beats him that is NOT okay, even if his dad seems to love him a lot at other times.
3) Encourage him to get help. The only way he is going to get through the depression behind the cutting is to go to therapy and possibly get medication, depending on how serious it becomes.
4) Understand that this problem is going to take some time to get through. If his mom died and his dad sometimes beats him, he has to be under a lot of stress and tension. There are no easy solutions and he's probably going to have a hard road to recovery ahead of him.
I'm going through a similar situation right now and I also used to cut myself and be seriously depressed, so I've learned a lot about these kinds of situations. If you need anything else email me at Nevaeh314@gmail.com
Hope life starts looking up!
Love,
Nevaeh314
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cutting is so common now andt does relive stress. you cant make someone promise stop doing it because thats im possible bece you can primise but they can still do it. just there for him and try and help but if you think he is going to comm suicide you have to tell someone good luk kim x
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Cutting is never ok or understandable. It is always a cry for help, so help him. Tell a trusted adult that you know will take action, like a counselor.
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sorry, but there is nothing you really can do. I have cut once- okay, twice, and no one can tell me what Im gunna do. After my friends found out about it the first time, they made me proomise to never do it again. I promised, but i still did it again. So anyway, just try to keep him away from his dad as much as you can. Hang out with him a lot and let him often know you love him. But if you start getting negative yourself (because that sometimes happens to people that hang out with other negative people) then you should try to part with him.
Im not gunna lie, when he says cutting releives stress, it really does. Its impossible to explain how, i guess cus it makes you feel like you have control of your life or something, but it really does help. The first time i cut i was dying inside because of a guy. (ya, i know, stupid reason to cut.) After I did it, I felt so much better. All the emotional pain was gone with only a little bit on pain on my forearm. When i did it, it didnt bleed... it just bled after. It didnt hurt- i think thats sometimes the reason queezy people like me can actually go through with it.
by the way, a guy at my school's mom just commited scuicide a few months ago.
Ex's and Oh's
-brittany
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Sounds like he is severally depressed and needs to see a doctor and get counseling ASAP!
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Your boyfriend sounds like he's in a lot of pain.
The problem is that if you really wanted him to get some help, then you'd have to tell a counselor or a trusted adult that he's cutting and that could result in problems between the two of you. It's hard to convince someone not to feel depressed or to stop hurting themselves, it's almost impossible.
Another thing you could do is try being with him as much as you can. If he needs to get out of his house, then invite him over or go on a walk together to get him away. Then maybe you could convince him to talk to someone about his problems. Comfort him and let him know always that he is loved by many people and that he needs to live for those people. He may be having a tough life now, but when he's out on his own, he will be able to take control of the situation and be happy.
When he starts a family later on and gets married, that's only the other beginning of his life that he can change. And tell him that that part of life is worth waiting for. Sometimes you just have to keep comforting him for the moment until he calms down, and keep picking up back up.
-TheTeenGirl
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