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hey


Question Posted Friday May 5 2006, 10:45 pm

when i'm with a group of people, i get really shy and i never know what to say. when i'm around just a few people i'm really loud & outgoing. like tonight, after my soccer game we went out to dinner with the team. everyone was laughing and screaming, but i was really shy and not "hyper" as they called it. and those kids are my friends so it's not because i didnt know them. i tried speaking up and being outgoing, but the more i tried to like fit in, the shyer i got. it was so weird. but then again, in school the teachers all yell at me because i never shut up. how come i'm shy around certain people but REALLY loud others? oh, and don't say i don't feel comfortable around them because i do. and how do i step out of my shy zone and become outgoing (to the people i'm shy with.) what are some things to bring up in a conversation and stuff? i really dount know why im like this.

signed,
confused


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CavieOwnsU2 answered Sunday May 7 2006, 7:26 pm:
Hey, I'm kinda in the same situation. With my friends from school, I'd be this hyper person who gets yelled at my the teachers and needs to learn how to keep her mouth shut. However, I was completely differemte with my riding friends, probably because I was new at my barn (about a year ago). One day I asked my friend for advice and she said, "You aren't there to make friends. You are only there to ride and get better as a rider." For some reason, that made me more comfortable and open up more. Now I'm pretty much best friends with this one girl at my barn and really good friends with the others. So just remember at soccer, you are only there to play soccer and have fun and get better. Maybe you will be like me and start opening up because you are more comfrtable. Good luck!

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TheTeenGirl answered Saturday May 6 2006, 12:19 am:
Usually when you are shy and nervous, it means you are out of your comfort zone. I know that you don't want to be told that you are uncomfortable around these people, but if you are shy, then you are not comfortable around the people you are with.

You were doing the right thing by putting yourself out there and trying to interact hyper and talkative, but even if you feel stupid or even more shy, just keep going and have fun. Try being hyper with one person first and then once you get yourselves started just be the life of the party. Everyone who is shy and tries to talk will feel discomfort because it's not something they are used to. So when you start feeling shy, jump into the conversation even if you feel like you shouldn't say anything. So I think you are doing exactly what you've been trying to do, remember that it takes time and work.

-TheTeenGirl

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M3mYseLFnDi answered Saturday May 6 2006, 12:08 am:
Dear confused,
I also have been there so you are not the only one who went through this. I too feel more hyper and comfortable around certain people but when I'm with other people I feel awkward. This has happened to me for a long time, but then I didn't care anymore. When I started loosiing up and not caring, I fitted in more. And I think that goes for any situation like yours. Don't try to fit in so much. Just relax. And after a long time, if you still don't feel comfortable with them, that means that they aren't really good friends. But then again, feeling comfortable with other people takes time. So just give it some time and if things are still the same after a couple of months, then it's time to move on with other friends.

sign,
Tina

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MiSAB0O123 answered Friday May 5 2006, 11:58 pm:
i have felt the exact same way. for me, i just can't help myself but just change my attitude around certain people, even if they are my friends. i've learned over past experiences that certain people can get small doses of me at a time. so i learn to back off of those people sometimes. but for you, i suggest even if you feel weird trying to fit in, try it. i know it feels embarrassing. maybe you even feel like you're gonna die standing there. i'm sure the people who are talking the most probably embarrass themselves the most. they've probably learned to push themselves and not hold back because if they don't go ahead and talk, they'll be having no progress in their social life. so try to speak up a little more, think about good topics to talk about, something you know you're able to talk about for a while. music, food, tv, movies. those are good subjects. i know for me, i could talk for a long time about itt. you'll eventually get used to it and start being more social and hopefully fit in more. i hope this helps!!!

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OHilovetravis answered Friday May 5 2006, 11:46 pm:
Hey,


Well I used to have that same exact problem. But then I realized that noone can change your feelings but you. And even if your comfort level is at the point where you are comfort but you still feel shy, all you can do is deal with it because it come's naturally. Believe me it happens to me to, but like see I started having this problem when I had to leave all my middle school friends because I moved and it broke my heart. Now im only like really hyper around lil groups of ppl now big groups. I guess I just dont like all that attention from people. But its all good because I have my close friends im crazy n hyper around, but like my soccer team for school cuz I play varsity, I just made captain an that made me open up to everyone an made me just act crazy an have no doubts about the way I would be acting! But some girls have different maturity level's an you might be more matured then them!! Cause that is what my mom says about me!

-Stephanie-

*Hope I helped*

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