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seeing a counsellor
I think I have depression, and I want to see a counsellor. I walked passed the room today but i couldn't go in, i just felt like i would be wasting their time and that I don't really need any counselling.
I have been feeling like thi for about 3 years, i used to self harm about 2 years ago but i got that under control - i still want to when i get wound up.
I often think about what it would be like when I'm dead, I wonder who would miss me, who wouldn't miss me.
A few months ago, I was going to commit suicide, i started to write a letter to my mum, but I couldn't finish it, I jut burst into tears.
I need someone to talk to. But I can't bring myself to walk into that room.
How can I overcome this?? Why can't i bring myself to walk into the room?
Please help me. x
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Talk to someone else about it. i sometimes dont like the fact of talking to someone about my problems that i dont even know. so one day i just went over to my friends house and spilled everything. sometimes this could be easier than talking to a counsler. so try maybe to talk to a close friend or parents. then maybe talk to yer parents about depression pills. my sister has tried to commit suicide before and now shes on the pills and shes made a huge recovry. otherwise just think about coiunciling helping you. its a good thing. thats what they are there for, for people to talk to them. it wouldnt be wasting there time. i hope thys helps.
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tell a friend then that friend could help you go in to the room. Talking to a councler can help. I know this because I have been though it. If friends wont help talk to a teacher that you trust. When you get sad or feel like commiting suicide what i did was tell myself what i have instore for me in the future. So that helped me. Slowly try to talk to the counsler. Just do what you have been untill you get better. Talking to a doctor can help also.
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When you start to get upset, think about happier things. Good things. And thinking about dying .. if you ever come that close again focus on the people who would miss you. I would suggest talking to your friends because I'm sure they would understand. You need to focus on what you're upset about and try to fix it or overcome it. I think you need to bring yourself to see a counselor because they are professionals who train for these exact situation. They really do help. I know you don't know me and I don't know you, but if you feel so alone and close to anything like that again, I'm here for you. I'm sure eveyrone on this site is. Just focus on things and people that make you happier, and I hope you do okay .. :/
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I really can't add too much too what already is out here, there's some good advice here. If you have friends, talk to them. thats what they are there for. If you feel you can talk to your parents, that's good too. you're better of than i am. If your having a really bad time, call a teen crises line. There's no shame in using hotlines or counsellors. that's what they're there for. I've just started seeing a counsellor, and wish i started a lot sooner. i still cut, but im trying to stop. anyways, the point is that you're not alone, and if you look around, you'll find somebody in your life that cares about you and wouldn't mind you reaching out to them.
hang in there, goodluck :),
~reach28
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I know what you're going through. I can't say I know how you feel, but I know what it's like. People that didn't know me used to talk about me all the time and judge me, like oh she's stuck up and doesnt know how to be a real person, or shes just fake, or something like that, and it hurt me. I cried alot and I was depressed every night when i got home from school.
This is kinda like your situation. I wasn't really afraid of talking to anyone, I just didn't know how to. You can't be worried about wasting their time. That's what they are there for. It's their job. It makes them happy to help you.
I got over my problem simply by just talking to my true friends, and learning to not keep things inside of me. The longer you do that the harder it is to let it all out. Like you said you were going to commit suicide. To me, that just sounds like a way that you're trying to express yourself. That might not make sense, but I think it's just a way that your body is trying to tell you that you need to talk to someone.
Trust me, just go in there one time and talk to them. You will feel alot better. And it's completely comfidential. If you don't want to go back you don't have to, and you don't have to tell them anything you don't feel comfortable telling them. Just don't keep it all inside, it makes it harder in the long run.
good luck
♥ Evy
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I know it's hard to think about actually sharing your feelings to someone, but if it has to do with you not being happy or you in danger of suicide, then it's important and not one minute of what you share is a waste of their time.
If you were a counselor, mom, dad, or a friend, you'd want someone to come to you and let you know what's going on. Depression isn't usually taken that seriously because you think that these feelings will go away and even if they do, you should definetly talk to someone.
I think that maybe you feel scared to tell a counselor because you're afraid of your family being notified of this and you feel maybe a little ashamed about this. Or you might be afraid of reaction you'll recieve from this counselor and your family. What you have to think about is the fact that you didn't ask to have depression and no one ever would if they went through it. If you don't tell someone what is happening in your life with these feelings, it's being careless of yourself. You are letting yourself be dragged across concrete in pain when you don't tell someone.
Take care of yourself by asking for help. There are so many moments when your life can get so rough that you have no choice but to ask for help. I know that you don't mean to be careless of yourself, but it's what you are doing. When you go in that counselor's office, explain to him or her that you are feeling depressed and that it's been this way for quite sometime. They will probably assume that it's a phase, but it's your job to explain that you've felt depressed for over a year and need help.
You also may feel scared to let someone know because you feel like you might be making it a bigger deal than it is, well, let me say that if you even began writing a suicide letter to someone, you can never make that a big deal. It is what it is, it's a huge deal, and theres nothing you can do to make it bigger than it is. Let someone know your pain, even if it's not your counselor.
-TheTeenGirl
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I had the same problem. I was cutting all the time... i still have scars from it. I was so depressed. I began to turn away from my friends and anyone who said anything to me, i instantally hated. I decided that that wasn't the way i wanted my life to be. i hated being depressed and i hated the scars. (i have ocd) the scars bothered me... and so i decided that i didnt want my life to be like it was anymore. The past made me more depressed than anything. I had a "percfect" life 2 years ago. My boyfriend still lived near me, i had it great... (we wont go into details) but ever since he moved... august of 2004... i had been depressed. we broke up and all that. so, one day i just decided to stop cutting, like you. Then, i decided the next step to getting my life back the way it 2 years ago, i decided to go to a counselor. I was like you... nervous at first. I was mainly scared that if i told them that i used to cut, then they would tell mom... etc. I was scared of what they were going to say to me. i knew the only way to get my life back on track was to talk to someone and confide in them. i pushed myself to walk in. i dared myself to fill out a form for them to see me. and it worked. I dared myself. Besides, everytime i would walk by the door and not stop, i would beat myself up. so i just dared and pushed myself. i told myself that i would get buy myself a candy bar or something... (im addicted to chocolate) and i would use my cell minutes to call my boyfriend who is over 1,000 miles away. and, it worked. i cant say i wasnt nervous when they called me out of math class to go see them. i was as nervous as hell. so, my advice to you is:
1. Dare yourself
2. When you do walk in that door, reward yourself with something you like to do, or eat etc.
3. Remember this: you will get the help you need. You dont have to share everything with the counselor... but you should at least share what you are going through. If you tell the counselor that you attempted suicide, then they will have to tell your parents. But, being with a counselor does help. It releases the pressure. I still go to a counselor for several reasons. My anger management and my ocd. (my ocd causes my anger problems). If the counselor does see that you are depressed, they might be able to refer you to a doctor that can help with medication. Just take my example and do what i did. It worked for me.
Good luck hun,
Smichele427
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You don't say how old you are but if you are still at school, do you have a favourite teacher you could talk to or a friend that could go with you? Can you talk to your mum, give her a chance to help you?
When people get this depressed, it feels like there is no one who will care enough about them to miss them but they would be surprised at how many would.
You sound as though you are a sensitive and caring person and the world needs people like you so much.
To walk in that room means you have to confront all the fears that you are holding inside and admitting you need help and that is so hard to do. You have been so brave up to this point by not giving into this, so I know you can do it. The hardest thing will be that first visit, after that it will get easier. You will start to realise people do care and want to help.
Counselling is not a waste of time, with the right person to talk to, you start to understand why you think the way you do and ways to change this pattern.
Go for it and in a year or so, (it can take a while to work through things, but don't give up), you'll feel a different person and able to start fulfilling your potential. I think you will have a lot to offer so go and walk in that room and ask for the help you want. If you want to keep me updated I'd be happy to hear from you. Good luck.
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I'm sorry to hear about your situation, however it's a positive step towards recovery since you want to recieve help.
My guess would be that you're worried to hear that you DON'T have depression, that you don't have a real diagnosis and you're going to be unhappy forever. If this is the case, please, DON'T THINK THIS. My friend's uncle had such severe depression he commited suicide since he was too afraid to seek help.
You just need to tell yourself that the people in the room CAN help you. The people in the counselor office genuinely want you feel happy and get you help. Especially in your case, when you're having suicidal thoughts and used to harm yourself.
If I still havn't convinced you to go in the office, try calling a free hotline, they can tell you what to do, and believe me, I've called them before. If you need to vent or just tell someone how you're feeling, they'll listen, they won't tell, and they'll do their best to convince you to go:
Teenline (teenlineonline.org) is hotline staffed by teens from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. EST. (Call 310-855-HOPE or 800-TLC-TEEN; toll-free in California only). The site also offers a Youth Yellow Pages to look up specific resources, 24/7 email, message boards and info on outreach services.
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hey... well i think the reason you can't get yourself to walk in the room is because you're afraid of what you might be told. you are afraid to hear that you are depressed, if that's what the councelor ends up telling you. tell yourself for the next couple of days that no matter what, even if you do have depression, things will be ok. you have to convince yourself that no matter what happens, everything will work out for the best. you've heard people say that the first step to solving a problem is recognizing that there is one. many people suffer from depression, and things are usually much better for them once they get help. you do want help, because if you didn't, you wouldn't even be thinking about talking to anyone. i applaud your decision not to take your life away. you may not recognize it now, but you do have a purpose on this earth... you are here for a reason. believe it or not, life would be different now and in the future for many people if you weren't here.
so just convince yourself that you need and want help, and that things will be ok. then rehearse a little bit what you want to say to the councelor... don't worry they have heard it all so they will know what to do and they won't think you're weird! they are there for that exact reason. once you know what you want to say, just go to the room and walk right in. go FAST... don't walk slow or think or seond guess yourself. just walk in and sit down as fast as you can, and then let it all out.
if that doesn't work, then why not call the councelor and explain a litle bit to her over the phone. then make an appointment to see her. or email her. those might be easier option for you. once you let her know that there is a problem, she will make sure you come to her for help. or talk to your mom and get her to go with you.
good luck with everything and i hope i helped!! :) don't give up hope, everyone goes through hard times... it's all about how you handle it. you really can do anything you set your mind to... if you convince yourself that you can get through this, then you will put it behind you before you know it! i promise!! :)
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