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Friendship gone bad?
I have this male colleague that I consider as one of my closest friend in the office. Everything changed when our officemates started making some jokes that he was gay. I asked him straight out if he is and he swears to me he's not. Carrying on with our friendship, we went on a drinking spree with some friends. Tipsy, he started to get touchy-feely all over me and in a joking manner he was suggesting that we go home together in his house. Eversince then, he would praise my looks and point blank flirt with me in a casual manner? I wonder now if he's doin this to erase the rumor that he is gay or he's seriously flirting with me? Either way shall I continue to befriend him?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Sure you can still be friends with him. However, if you feel uncomfortable with anything he is doing then stop being around him. Untill you know for sure what is going on, do not let the situation go too far.
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There's no real way of knowing whether he is using you or whether he genuinely likes you.
Do you know why the rumours started? If it was merely that he had been single for a long time, that's no cause for concern. If he's been making one too many comments about male singers or something, then you might need to be worried!!
Have a chat with your co-workers and just see if you can find out where this rumour came from. If it's something really circumstantial like the lack of a girlfriend, I doubt you have anything to worry about.
However, there's nothing wrong with asking him. Mention that you've been picking up on some signals he's been giving out and that maybe you were wrong but it feels a little like he's been coming on to you. If he says he has, say that you're wondering why he's hitting on you. Don't straight out ask him if he's doing it to clear the rumours that he's gay, because this may insult him. You could perhaps tell a little white lie and say someone was teasing that he was only flirting with you because they thought he was just trying to get rid of the rumour.
If you're not happy doing that, just trust him and go out with him. See what happens. If he seems a little overly camp or starts talking rather too much about Johnny Depp or Tom Cruise, you know to get rid of him!
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anonymous -
I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be friends with him.
I know that you will feel flattered with the attention, compliments, and whatnot, but to be on the safe side, I'd suggest that you should keep it friends. Some friendships that lead on into relationships can't be rekindled because of the love history the two friends once shared...
But if you're willing to date him, it's your call. As for the original question regarding friendship, keep the friendship for the time being.
Hope this helps.
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Perhaps when you asked if he was gay, he assumed that you were interested in him. If that's the case, it sounds like he's interested as well. I would talk to him and see if you can find out if that's the case.
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I think it may be a bit of both.
It may be more because you asked him about it than anything. Wants you to realize you were wrong.
I don't see any reason why you can't still be friends. If it is bothering you just tell him that you like him just fine the way he was and that the extra touchy-feely stuff isn't necessary.
But if you like it, let him know that too. Just ask if he wants to go to dinner or something and see where it goes from there.
Good luck. :)
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