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Justified?


Question Posted Thursday March 9 2006, 6:53 pm

Am I justified in being angry when my mom calls me an ignorant slut because she wasn't understanding something I was trying to explain to her? I don't mean to sound whiney, but I'm really sick of these degrading comments she directs at me when she messes something up, makes a mistake, or doesn't understand something. I don't know what to do about this. Any advice?
Thanks


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lorawhat answered Friday March 10 2006, 1:10 am:
you have every damn reason to be mad if your mom or anyone else for that matter calls you anything like that. even though its your mom, tell her she has no right saying something like that to you if she won`t take the time to understand what you`re trying to tell her.

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jco answered Thursday March 9 2006, 10:02 pm:
wow! thats completely wrong for your mom to call you a slut! obviously at some point ever parents is gonna call their kid ignorant because honestly, we are, but you should sit her down and explain to her, be like, "mom you always get mad at when its YOU who does something wrong and you hurt my feelings when you call me a slut!" I know it sounds completely unreasonable and impossible to do with a mom like yours, EXACTLY like mine, but i did it and my mom started crying and saying how sorry she was and we're doing so much better! i even kiss her goodbye in the mornings when i go to school! TRY IT!
xoxoxox, i hope this helped!
Jessie

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Nallie answered Thursday March 9 2006, 9:22 pm:
You are justified in feeling hurt that's for sure! Sounds like you should pity or feel sorry for your Mother because she is the one that needs help! You probably won't be able to change your Mother, but you can change how you react. When your Mom does this, speak slowly and with confidence "I am a good person and I deserve to be treated better than that". If you have another adult that is willing to speak to your Mom about this (a grandparent--aunt--etc) Please ask them to do so. Perhaps they can convince your Mom to get some help before she ruins any chance of a relationship with you...her daughter.

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XxRockon answered Thursday March 9 2006, 8:55 pm:
omg of course! no adult or..anyone for that matter should be calling you such degradings..thats just plain main. you need to confront her and exaplin that wat she says hurts you and there is no need for it. If she simply doesnt understand something you say..tell her to just ask you to rexplain it in a different way.

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KiSSxMYxPEARLS answered Thursday March 9 2006, 7:53 pm:
I would be angry if my mom called me an "ignorant slut". So you do have the right to be angry.

I would just simply confront her. Tell her that you don`t like the way she talks to you & if maybe she can stop. Tell her that it hurts you. Just tell her how you feel. But if she does call you names again, don`t yell back. Just look at her & walk away. That's what i do.

Pretty much what Razhie said was perfect. I would listen to that.

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Razhie answered Thursday March 9 2006, 7:38 pm:
There is no good reason for anyone to call another person an 'ignorant slut'. Period.

So are you justified in your anger? Sure you are. But that doesn't mean you are justified in calling her names back, screaming or yelling, slamming or breaking things or being rude to her.

I'm not saying you do this, I'm just trying to point out that no matter how bad her behavior might be and how justifiably angry you are, that doesn't mean you have a right to behave badly too.

My advice is to end any conversation with your mother that results in name-calling. Do not yell back or be rude. But as soon as she calls you a name, the conversation ends. If you can, just leave the room. If you can't say "I won't talk about this unless you can stop calling me names." And then don't speak to her until she stops calling you names. She probably wont apologize, and it wont do much good to insist she does but you need to wait to speak to her until she can approach you without name-calling.

No mater how she tries to get a rise out of you, stay calm. Do let her distract you with some other argument or issue. Repeat yourself if necessary: "Mom, if you are going to call me that I am not going to be able talk to you."

This isn't the childish 'silent treatment'. This is you being an adult and choosing the ways in which you are willing to interact and communicate with other people.

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Alpha345 answered Thursday March 9 2006, 7:26 pm:
Yes, you have a right to be angry.

I would put more ignorance on your mother, since she couldn't even let you finish something you were trying to explain.

-Ryan

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