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my ex best friend...i think...
This is long...sorry...but if you read this and answer I promise to rate you a 5 and I will be so greatful! thanks in advance for reading this. I have this friend named nicole (fake name) and she has been my best friend for about 2 years. She gets really annoying and is pretty stupid, and my family doesn't like her very much. She doesn't have a lot of money and her parents are completely uninvolved in her life. My parents do everything for her and we get nothing in return. She never really does anything to show she appreciates it and I really don't like that and neither does my family. So recently she's been pretty rude to me. She ditched me twice. At lunch I sit with nicole and kelly (fake also) and 3 other girls who im kinda barely friends with but mostly I only talk to nicole and kelly. well kelly is "popular" all of a sudden to nicole but no one really likes her...and no one really likes nicole because she's so annoying. I know nicole doesn't care about popularity because if she did she wouldn't be so weird and act so nerdy. We're not popular but we're not geeks, I guess we are known as just normal group, except to the geeks we are known as popluar, so i've heard. Well nicole has just been obsessed with kelly and she blows me off or is too busy to hang out with me but not kelly. I have many friends in school, like a ton, but I usually only hang out with friends once every week or maybe even less then that. I only really hang out with nicole. But shes always so busy and always grounded so I kind of have no friends outside of school. I make an effort to hang out with other girls I know at my school but it never really works out, not that they don't like me just our plans don't really follow through. Sorry I'm writing a lot but I wanted you all to understand the background of my question. So here it is...Today nicole got mad at me and I had no idea why and so her and kelly totally ditched me at lunch and sat with someone else and I asked kelly is she mad at me she said no there was no room at the table...when there were plenty. I am so mad at nicole I seriously was about to punch her because suspension was worth punching her. She totally takes advantage of me and I keep going back to be her friend. My parents and bother think I should stop being her friend and there a feeling in me that I want to but then there's also a feeling that's not willing to give her up. The main reason I don't stop being her friend is if I do then kelly wont be my friend and I'll have no one to sit with at lunch and no one to talk to during class because most people in all my classes are popular or totally nerdy and all that stuff. But today seemed like the last straw and I don't want to be her friend but I'm afraid of what will happen. I'm hoping once I start high school I'll make new friends and totally ditch her for good, but thats about 6 months away and I don't want to go with nobody to hang out with during summer if I stop being her friend. I really love her and shes so funny and fun to be around. If I didn't love her, I would hate her and think she is the stupidest person ever, and I would never consider being her friend, if you know what I mean. I love that she doesn't care what others think, but sometimes I hate it because she is truly embarassng and since not a lot of people like her, I think that's why nobody ever calls me to hang out because they probably think I'm just like her. Basically I want to know all of your opinions about what I should do. Stay her friend, ditch her, wait a little longer, etc? Please help I have no idea what to do!!! I will rate you 5 if you answer no matter if I like your answer or not, just because you read all this. By the way, im 14 female. thanks so much!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I am having the same problem rigth now.The way i deal with it is pretend that it doesn't bother me at all. I know this shounds weird but just try it. Stick with being her friend because in life it is too short to not try and be friends with everyone. Just stick with it and show her you are stronger then she is.Try to act like it doesn't bother you i know it is hard but just think in 6 months we will be going to high school and meeting new people. If this helps and you would like to talk some more please feel free i would love to help you with this
Love meggs
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If i were you I would tell Nicole how I feel and if she continues to blow me off while knowing how I feel about this, I would think she doesn't really care about me. She's obviously gotten past me and that I need to get past her. I'm pretty sure that if you tried just a little bit harder then you trying now, you could find some cool down-to-earth friends.
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Well my answer is simple. You must always be true to yourself. I understand how hard it is to make the move to distance yourself from these so called friends but deep down I think that you know that this decision is right. I'm not saying don't be friends with them at all I'm just saying broaden your horizons a bit more. Obviously you don't quite fit in with them or with the more popular group which believe it or not is a good thing. As you get older you will see that it is not bad to sometimes spend time on your own and to be an individual. Also remember to listen to what your family is saying about these friends because they will only be wanting to protect you.
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Well you said you have a ton of friends so why can't you start talking to them more and sit with them. It seems like Nicole is selling you out to try to fit in with Kelly. I would talk to Nicole and remind her of all you and your family do for her (play the guilt trip). If she doesn't stop, just stop talking to her. What kind of friends are those? They both stop talking to you because ONE of them is mad at you for a stupid reason. I would say talk to her, if she doesn't change, ditch her.
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I think you should talk to her. If nothing works out then it's ok. Chances are you'll make more friends sooner than you think. It just comes down to what kinds of people you want to be surrounded by and that's just a choice everyone makes. If your friends right now aren't completely comfortable to be around, you should just hang out with them less and search for your niche even if it may take a long time. High school will be much better so just hang in there and focus on school. :)
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Wow! That was pretty extensive, but at least you got all of the facts in.
I have a situation similar to yours. My friend was never blatantly mean to me, but he did avoid me and for no reason at all. It took me a year and a half of barely hanging out with him to finally quit caring. We were really good friends, and I like the person he used to be.
That's what you need to understand about your friend. You put a hell of a lot of effort into her, and now she's ditching you. She'll continue to do this over and over, hurting you again and again if you don't break it off. Trust me, getting stopping things now will save you a lot of trouble later.
Also, it sounds like everyone in your family has already given you their opinion and I'd say you already know what you need to do, but you're hesitant to do it. Letting go of a friend you've had forever is never easy.
Try to sit at another table, and you'll be able to make some friends by the end of the year. You've still got MONTHS to go. Another thing you should know, it things change dramatically in ninth and tenth grade. Most cliques break up and people become people. They grow up and quit caring what people think as much.
You just have to decide if you want to choose to use your non friend to get close to Kelly, causing you stress and emotional confusion throughout the entire summer, or make some new friends who will treat you the way you deserve.
Pretty easy decision. I know you'll make the right choice.
Btw, paragraphs would make it easier to read next time. :)
Good luck!
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hey, been ther we girls hav so much drama as my parents say. heres what i think you should do: try to talk to her about how u feel. i know its sounds kinda stupid and hard to just bring up with out them gettin mad but if their truly your friend they will listen. when me and my best friend started to drift because she did volleyball and started to hang out with all new people and never had time to go see a movie or even just chill, i just kind of was rude back to her for a few days and then we had a huge confrontation at my house one day and i just went crazy yellin all the things that she'd done and all the things i hated about her. well afterword i knew she truly was my best friend because she told me she had no idea and was really sorry. and now we hang out all the time and she doesnt ignore me or ditch me and im even friends with her newer friends. if she gets mad or if your freinds get even worse then just stop hanging out with them and stop talkin to them...dont just drop them as a friend but make them realize what their doing to your feelings. i hope my advice works and if you need more advice you can email me at koolkiwi12@yahoo.com
good luck!
-kiki
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