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kicked out
ok heres my question....
I HAVE BEEN DATING THIS GUY FOR THREE MONTHS NOW! HES A GOOD GUY AND ALOT OF FUN! HES VERY POPULAR AND HAS ALOT OF "EXPERIENCE." WHEN I MET HIM ALL HE TALKED ABOUT WAS HOW BAD HE WANTED TO SLEEP WITH ME AND HOW BAD HE WANTED TO HAVE A LIFE WITH ME! I FELT THAT SAME WAY BUT THE ONLY DIFFRENCE IS THAT IM STILL A VRIGIN AND HE DOESNT KNOW IT YET! AND TO MAKE THE STORY MORE INTERESTING IVE BEEN HAVING FAMILY PROBLEMS AND GOT KICKED OUT OF MY HOUSE AND NOW STAYING WITH HIM! WE SLEEP IN THE SAME BED AND WHEN HES IN THE MOOD I FEEL SO BAD BECAUSE I TELL HIM THAT IM NOT IN THE MOOD OR I FEEL SICK BUT THATS NOT IT AT ALL, SO HE JUST ROLLS OVER AND GOES TO SLEEP!I FEEL LIKE SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON! IVE LIED TO HIM SO MUCH ALREADY AND THE PERSON THAT I MET HIM WITH AND HE WANTS A LIFE WITH IS THE ONE THATS NOT A VIRGIN! IM SO SCARED TO TELL HIM BUT IF I DONT HES GONNA THINK THAT I DONT LIKE HIM AND I DO I REALLY DO! WAT SHOULD I DO? IF HE FINDS OUT I LIED TO HIM AGAIN HE MIGHT THROW ME OUT INTO THE STREET! pls help! and my tonight cause hes gonna try again and i dont wanna lie to him anymore!
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I'm so sorry that I didn't have the chance to get to your question yesterday and I know you said you really needed an answer before last night! Yikes. I'm curious at this point what, if anything, went on between you and your boyfriend last night.
Even though I missed answering you right away, I'll still try to answer your question as best I can anyway.
Have you been telling this guy lies that you didn't explain in your
question to me? If you're only referring to the fact that you haven't been able to tell him that you're a virgin and that you've lied about that, then I can't figure out why in the world you think he'd throw you out on the street! What kind of guy is he?!
Please don't wait until you guys are just about ready to make love before you tell him. Obviously you're nervous and you think he has high expectations of you, so having this chat probably won't do much for the mood if you wait until you're being intimate. Please just sit him down and tell him the truth. Tell him that you've been scared, embarrassed (whatever you've felt) about letting him know that you're a virgin and that you are a little timid about having sex for the first time. Let him know that you would really like it if he were to help you through this very important and special time. It seems to me that if he is any kind of guy worth holding onto that he will work with you on this and be happy to do so. I would also hope that he could understand why you were so reluctant to talk about this before since it can be a sensitive subject.
If you really love someone you should be able to confide in him and he should be very respectful of what you have to tell him if he loves you and doesn't just want an "experienced" girlfriend. See, that's where I'm a little confused. Has he given the impression from the beginning that he wants an experienced girlfriend? What made you feel as though you couldn't tell him about your virginity? That worries me a little because if you're actually living with this guy right now, then it seems that you two need to have a very open and honest relationship about these sorts of intimate issues.
You also said that when you met this guy, right away he told you that he wanted to sleep with you AND spend his life with you. Wow. That's moving pretty fast, isn't it? And how did YOU know that you wanted to spend your life with HIM? I'm truly hoping that he didn't use the line "I want to spend my life with you," just to get you in bed. However, the fact that you've been living together for a while, and sleeping together without having sex, leads me to believe that he's being patient and perhaps that's not all he wants out of the relationship. That would be good. So, do both of you a favor and quit coming up with excuses. If you don't want to have sex yet, tell him. If you do, but you're afraid because you've never experienced it before, tell him.
I'm sorry about your family situation and I'm also sorry that is what "pushed" you into living with this guy right now. Living with someone is a BIG move and both parties want to be sure that it is a situation that is really wanted. And, hopefullly one in which both parties are ready to commit to. Making big moves because of an "emergency" isn't always the best way to start. Hopefully, though, if there is open communication and HONESTY, the two of you will be able to work through all of this.
I hope I've helped ease your mind that it really is okay to talk to this guy. Just remember, if he doesn't take the "news" well, then HE has a problem. You do NOT have to live on the street if things don't work out for the two of you. There are plenty of agencies who can come to your aid and give you advice. Please don't stay in this relationship if for any reason it gets awkward or just isn't right. I know I don't know anything about your family problems, but I encourage you to try to work through those problems right now while you are trying to work through getting your life in order. Don't wait until you're in a dire situation to try to make things all right with your folks. Try to have them there as a support system.
Good luck and definitely let me know what happens between you and your boyfriend. I'll think good thoughts for you!!
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well if you don't want to lie to him anymore and if you don't think your ready to have sex then just just tell him you don't want to rush into things. 3 months isn't long enough i'm sure yo uknow each other really well by now but if our not ready just tell him you want to wait and if he asks why well just tell him you don't want to rush into things in case something goes wrong and you'll end up regreeting it later. Don't keep lying to himm cause thats one of the worst things you can do. If you don't want to tell him your a virgin that might present a problem if you actually do end up having sex with him though because guys can tell if you are and if your not just by how you respond. So you have to make the decision i think you shoudl tell him cause if he wants a girl with experience and leaves you for that then he probably just wasnt right.
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i really can't understand why you were shy about telling him this in the first place... i mean, think about it this way: would he rather know that he's your first, or think that you've had other guys inside you? of course he'd enjoy knowing that he's your first! just explain it to him, and he'll understand and probably even be relieved that it's not becaue you're not attracted to him and that you haven't slept with anybody else. he might be upset that you lied, but if he doesn't understand, than he's not worth it; but there's just no way that he could get mad that you're a virgin.
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hey whats up ! well in my eyes i think that you should tell him because the longer you keep pushing it off the worse its gonna make it for you. The longer you wait the harder it is gonna be to tell him and he is gonna prolly get upset then your relationship is gonna end. If he loves you then he will wait until you are ready not when he gets "In The Moodd" you shouldnt feel bad becauuse you dont want to . Thats good that you have not though because once you do its all down the wrong road because boys label you the same way believe me.
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tell him! its actually a big turnon for guys when they are about to have sex with a virgin. iof he does want to have a life with you, it means he loves you. so he wont care if your a virgin or not.
OR:
use a sex toy to make your pussy bigger and wider. you can just not tell him, becasue he never asked. this way, if you have a wideset pussy, than it wont be as obvious. and you DIDNT lie to him. he didnt straight up ask you if you were a virgin, so technically you werent ever lying
but i wouldnt do that. i would just tell him, and then you guys can have sex. **its not like hes ever gonna stop liking you just because you a virgin. that would be shallow
ALiCia
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OK. Tell him the truth!!!! I recon he will respect ur honesty when you tell him, if he's good enough for you then he will understand, then he will know why you haven't wanted to sleep with him! I think it might be a relief for him to know the reason why you haven't wanted to sleep with him, because of you not him, then he can be more gentle with you and you can have fun together.
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ok hes more likely to think you dont like him if you keep making up excuses. just tell him, the sooner the better. im sure he wont mind too much, and hell be more sensitive about 'being in the mood" if he knows you arent a virgin hell understand that its a big deal for you and he should lay off until you are ready. and if hes the type of guy that would just dump you because you are a virgin or because you wont put out then you shouldnt be with him in the first place.
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