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Best Friend Hates Me
13/f
Me and this boy have been really close friends for a year. Now he's started hanging around the other guys, who are all jerks. They were beating up on a kid one day and it made me mad. I stood up for the kid and the boys all ended up getting in trouble by a teacher. Now my friend is mad at me because I embarrassed him in front of his friends. I was just doing what I think is right! Well, now he says he hates me and is tired of the "bull shit". I love him and I don't want to lose him but I have no idea what to do now. None of his new friends like me (they think I'm a psycho) and I feel like he cares more about what they think than he cares about me. It's really really depressing. Write back soon, please & thank you.
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Well you did the right thing by defending the kid. And all I have to say is why would you still want to be friends with a guy who would do that to a kid and then blame you for everything? He doesnt sound like a very good friend to me. But if you want to still be friends with him, say your sorry and you just didnt like what was going on.
<3
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From what you wrote this guy seems like a jerk. Sorry from saying that. If he does that then he really is not your "best friend". Best Friends stick up for you not trade you from somepeople that really don't care for him. I don't think he really cares about them more he just probably got caught up of being with a bunch of guys that he thinks that are cool. Pretty soon (hopefully) that he will realize that they are jerks and maybe find some other friends that like you. Try and keep talking to him. He doesn't hate you. Anyway tell me how it goes.
~Liza~
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well, you should just talk to him about it. tell him that you dont think its fair for him to be mad at you when they were the ones doing things wrong to that kid. its not right for some one to be bullied on and then when someone tryss to help and do the right thing, you get in trouble !! hope i helped!
xOx ♥
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Little dude, you did the right thing and dont ever question that. Hell, you could of defended the next president, ya never know. I stuck up for this unsightly fellow(he was an 8th grader) in my 6th grade, he was considered a loser but had a good heart. I didnt give two nickles he was loser, and proved that fact one day when a bunch of eigth graders strated tearin him up. Little did they know I was near and heard it all. I walked up to all of them, snidily grined and literally bitched them out for there actions. Ya, they all laughed and made fun of me for the remander of the year, but was it worth it? Hell ya, cus down the road the kid they were demorilizing lost weight, physically matured and joined up with the football team later in highschool, where I was soon to go. By time I entered freshman year, I had an entire Junior crew--souly because I had stuck up for one loser gone popular. In pertanance to your friend, tell him to grow up and that he will indefinalty regret choosing the wrong crowd over the right crowd,. Even shed a tear if you think its appropriate, and say you really thought of him in a respect unmatched by any one else, now your doubting him as a genuine person. Or ya know, something of that nature. Make sure hes alone cus undoubtidly he'll under-react in front of his buddies, and make you feel worse. If it doesnt work out though, let life take its course and find other (and better) friends...such is life.
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This is deff. a problem. And i'm sad to say, i don't feel it will go away that easy. It's easy for a guy to have a friend thats a girl, but when he finds a group of guys that act different, he'll start acting like them too. I'm sorry to say, he chose his new friends over you. I don't think what you did was wrong, I feel you deff. did the right thing by sticking up for the kid. But by your friend not sticking up for him too, he made the choice to go along with the new guys, not the person who we all know cares about him more, and cares about what happens too him. Which is you of course. But if he starts acting like the other guys, and goes from being a "by-stander" to one of them. you either have to confront him, and try and get him to stop hanging around them ( which can back-fire and make him more mad ) or just stop talking, and hanging with him, even if it hurts you. Soon he'll realize he needs you just as much.
Good Luck, i hope everything works out.
Dr. Minkus
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Good job sticking up for the kid he didn't deserve that.. and your friend is just trying to be cool around his new friends and the only reason why his friends don't like you is because your better then them..... but if you insist on trying to be friends with them and this boy try talking to him about the way you feel i was 13 not to long ago and i hated it when boys and me got in fights like this but it happends because boys are boys and girls are girls they get in fights like you wouldn't believe but i think yous should write him a note or call him on the phone or tell him to meet you somewhere that way you can talk to him face to face and just tell him that you really like haning around him and enjoy being around him and if that doesn't work then you should try to get to know his friends a little better and try hanging our with them thats how i got my first boyfriend was from being aroudn his friends just try doing what he does but not as mean....if you know what i'm saying be true to your self and just be you and maybe they'll see something in you.
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I have been in a similar situation. You're not going to like what I have to say.
First off, he's trying to be popular. He's 13. He wants to be "cool". Second, what you did for the boy was RIGHT. Now kid deserves to be picked on and if he can't see that you were doing the RIGHT thing then you're friendship doesn't mean very much to him.
You can try talking to him. In person. With his new "friends" NOT around. It's hard to find a time and place to do that sort of thing but try it. If that doesn't work out, on to 'Plan B'.
Try to call him (but not obsessively, only once every two weeks, trust me on this one). Try to talk to him then. Be serious, don't cry, talk to him, present you're issues in a polite manner. Ask him why he's doing what he's doing and why is he treating you the way he is.
And now, 'Plan C'. All I have to say is if he doesn't see the error of his ways and apologize...HE ISN'T WORTH IT. He's turning in to one of those jerks and if you can't stop it, then there's a problem. It takes a long time (this is REALLLLLLY know about) but you can do it. You might cry, you might get really angry, but DON'T let yourself talk to him. Just cherish the memories. Try to put them away for a time when you can handle them.
If you need to talk more (I have some more stuff to tell you) my email is pink_is_pimpin09@yahoo.com and my screenname for AIM is SoSunKiSsEd09
I hope this helps and I know what you're going through. It's tough to lose a friend (especially a guy friend). Don't let it get you down. You deserve to be happy and no boy can change that.
-K-
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