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Was I wrong?
I broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years a few weeks ago for my own reasons that I'm not getting into - just know it was for both of us, not just me, that I did it.
It was a bit of a conversation, but one thing I did ask was that he not forget about me and consider me a friend. Since then, he's attempted contact (via AIM) a couple times, and each time it's ended with me in tears and him saying he doesn't think he can handle talking to me just yet.
The thing is, I don't miss him. I'm happy single right now. This is what I need and I'm glad I did it. I feel bad because I know I hurt him, yet he agreed with my reasoning and seemed to think I was right.
Was it wrong of me asking him to keep our friendship? If I don't miss him, why do I always end up crying?
Please, hold off on the chatspeak. You'll get rated down and nobody wants that.
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just give him time, and give yourself time. you'll be able to talk soon, and it's okay that you want to be friends. you may not miss him, but you cry because it makes you feel bad that he misses you. don't feel bad because you did what was right. hope it helps. ~*~*Lynne*~*~
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It wasn't wrong of you to keep your friendship with him, but maybe its too early. Give it a month or two before you guys really start talking again, possibly more. Keeping a friendship that only ends up in tears is really just selfish. After some time, I'm sure you both will be able to talk without the problems.
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I don't think what you asked for was wrong in any way; you might just need to accept that you can't be friends right now.
What your feelings are, and what his are, aren't very important anymore. You've made your choice and are happy with it. The problem seems to be that this relationship is still so emotionally charged that you can't speak to each other without dragging up lots of negative feelings.
I honestly think you should consider either, not speaking to him for a good while longer, or at least make sure that your conversations are very short, stick the pleasantries and don't try to have a deep heart-felt conversation about anything. You both need to retrain yourselves and behave differently the new situation. You've had two years together and these patterns you have of telling each other everything and discussing your feelings in depth were great when you were together, but now they are pointless and very hurtful to both of you.
You don't pour your heart out every time you speak to a 'friend', so don't do it every time you speak to him.
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You weren't wrong to ask for his friendship you just still like to keep in touch to check up on him like a friend would do for another. I think why you always end in tears is not that you miss him but you still care and it just gets to you. You have realized you hurt him and now it's just kind of hurts you to kno you caused it, but don't worry you'll be just fine.
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You were not wrong at all. It's your decision and you did the right thing. It made you happy. Asking to be friends is nothing to feel bad about. I know you didn't mean to hurt his feelings though. Even though you don't seem to miss him but you always end up in tears is probablly because you still care about him. Maybe not in the boyfriend kind of way, but as a friend.
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no, i dont think what you did is wrong AT ALL. its what YOU wanted to do. theres many explanations for why you may be crying.. i mean you obviously really cared about this guy, two years is a long time. it's good that he understands how you feel, and its good that you told him the truth, instead of being afraid to hurt him and not tell him at all, because that ends up worse in the long run. its prolly really tough right now, but since yall dated for so long, im sure if you just give it some space for a while, you will find that a good friendship between you two will start to form.. and it will result in a happy ending..
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