|
more friend conflicts..
ok. well today me and my friend hung out. i have just written about how she ditched me (if anyone has read that question i posted the subject was "neglected.<3"). well we ended up hanging out. i told her how i felt about being ditched and she actually apologized so thank youu for those of youu who said to do so. well then she says she is going to the basketball game with that girl i do not like. I was like "Oh well i don't really wanna hang with her sorry" and my friend said i was being mean to the girl. do youu think i was being mean for not talking to this girl who had told my crush how i talked about him every moment. ((it ruined my chance with the guy too.)) so my friend thinks i am rude for not talking to her. i think that is ignorant. especially since she has done things like that to my friend *including telling her ex he was sexy etc.*. well i wanted an apology and i did not get one. so i am not the girl`s friend. but my friend thinks i should be..i definetly do not want to. anyways back to the basketball game. she called me from it on her cell phone with the girl (on purpose) screaming in the backround. then my friend was bragging how she talked to my friend joe. what can i do to get her to stop? i do not want to bring anything draumatic cause she is an only child and just found out her mother might be pregnant with her new husband. what can i do without making her hate me?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hi There,
Sometimes it's easier to seethe in silence when someone does something to wind you up, but that doesn't make the issue go away. If anything, bottling up your feelings like this just makes the problem seem worse. It means you risk a situation where your mate steps just slightly out of line and you explode right in front of them - which doesn't solve anything.
Whether your friend's just being annoying without realising, or s/he's done something terrible that's totally wound you up, it's always wise to pick a good time to talk - preferably when you're feeling calm and there's nobody else around to chip in or stir things up for you.
Your aim here is to encourage this person to see things from your point of view. If your mate can see the upset they've caused for themselves, they'll be more likely to change their behaviour towards you.
Nobody likes to feel as if they're being attacked, or that somehow they have to defend their actions, so don't lay into them - it'll only risk a fistfight (or that slappy-scrap thing girls do sometimes).
You can't expect them to change their behaviour straight away, especially if you're both feeling a bit self-conscious after getting things out in the open. Instead, give them some time and space to process the problem and act upon it. If they value your friendship, you should see a new improved mate in no time.
Goodluck
]
More Questions: |