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Firstly, I'm a freshman in college right now. Right before school ended this past year, a 20 yr old guy started leaving me messages on myspace. He's a US marine, and he was in Iraq at the time. He said he was from my hometown, and was feeling lonely, just wanted to get to know some new people from the area. So I messaged back and forth for a while. Then we started IMing each other. And right before I left for school, he started calling on the phone. He came home on leave the day I left for school. We had made plans to get together while he was home; he even agreed to drive an hour to see me at school. When it came time for him to come visit the first time, he said sry, I have something to do tomorrow, and since I"m representing the Marines, I wanna look and feel my best, so I"m not gonna come see you (he wouldn't have gotten home till like 2 am) - so that's totally acceptable. He called the next day saying he felt so bad, was I mad at him? don't be mad blahblahblah...but I was fine with that. The next weekend, he was supposed to come up again, it was the day before he was gonna be deployed to OKinawa. He was getting a hotel room with some buddies to party it up before he went back, and said I could join them. I said I really didn't feel comfortable going off campus to a hotel room with a bunch of guys I've really never met before. He said that was understandable, so he'd just come to my dorm and chill for a while, and then I could decide if I wanted to go offcampus with him or not. He said he would call when he got in the area. But he never called. As soon as he got to OKinawa, he called and said he was so sorry, he had flight problems, don't be mad at him, his life has been really stressful, and he can understand why I would be frustrated, but don't be mad at him. I told him I wasn't, and it was all good. He keeps leaving me messages on AIM at night while I"m sleeping (14 hr time difference) and he just called again a coupel nights ago, but other than that, I really haven't talked to him in over a month. He said he's coming home for Christmas (I will be home from school as well) and he wants to get together then. Should I give him the chance after he totally blew me off last time? He really seemed eager to meet me, both last time he was home, and talking about CHristmas, so I can't believe he just didn't feel like it. My mom says maybe he got scared, but I can't imagine what he would have to be scared of...? PLease help, thanks
--18 yr old college freshman (female)
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well it could be nerves.. or it could be the fact that he is playing you.. or it could be that he actually has all these problems.. Marines are hard to get in touch with and very hard to visit someone.. they have all these orders they have to follow.. my boyfriend is a marine.. and sometimes he tries to come see me.. but he cant unexpectedly cuz being a Marine is his job.. eventhough he would rather be with me.. i wouldnt give hope just yet.. wait it out maybe another 2 times.. and if he keeps this up.. just move on and forget him.. k.. love ya.. xoxo.. bye
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Hi there,
It's true, he could've been scared. Meeting someone off the internet IS a big deal, what with all the stories you hear these days. He may've been nervous about what you would think of him.
But he did let you down, and hardly DESERVES another chance. It's natural to be nervous, but it's another thing to completely disappoint someone. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that he DOES want to meet you, and is not just playing you around, so that's why I think you should give him ONE more chance, and that's it. If he lets you down again, forget about him. One time is forgiveable, twice is not. Let him know that this is the last time you're going to give him the opportunity to meet, and if he doesn't turn up, tell him that he shouldn't bother contacting you anymore.
You were probably expecting me to say "oh no, meeting someone off the internet can be dangerous!!!1" But I've done it myself, and thus can't be one to talk. Of course, make sure this guy IS genuine. And when you do eventually meet, make sure it's somewhere where people are around. Like, if he asks you to come meet him at his hotel room again, DON'T. This is pretty suss and you never know what could happen. Make him come meet you somewhere like a mall or something. But you seem smart enough, and don't need me telling you this.
Anywho, good luck and let me know how the meeting goes. =)
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I guess you could see him considering how much time and effort and messages you put in with this guy... but I don't know, something sounds kind of fishy. Maybe its all legit and these things were totally normal things happening, but it always sounds like its something right? If you meet, meet in a public place and talk for aa while before you go anywhere with him. I'm sure its fine, but I'm just picking up kind of a bad vibe from him from your question.
Good luck and keep me posted.
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i think maybe you should give him a chance to get to know you he is always traveling and doesnt have time to really talk to people and his life has to be stressful and maybe he was scared i mean he probably has not had a friend thats a girl (not a girlfriend like dating or anything) so i think maybe you should meet up with him at Christmas it would mean a lot to him
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I agree with mom. He may be scared or shy.
You also have to consider that he wasn't home for very long. I'm sure he had family get together's, old friends and having to get ready to go back...he was probably being pulled a hundred different directions. Being a guy of course makes all that hard to admit to!
If you want to give it another chance then by all means do. Should he have made the time? Yes, he should have. But you know what? Most guys aren't real sensitive to those kind of things. Time seems to get away from the easily too.
Good luck. :)
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Actually, no. He is not respecting you and your time. He is not being a good friend. It sounds to me like you fall to the way side whenever something better (in his mind) comes along. You’re just a back up plan in case he ends up with some time with nothing to do. To not even call you to let you know what happened before he took off to Okinawa is rude and again disrespectful. He isn't worth your time or effort.
Good Luck!
LULABELLE
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