There's this boy that I've known ever since 5th grade (we are in 9th grade) we are very close besides the fact that I NEVER SPENT TIME WITH HIM BESIDES SCHOOL!!! Yea we would talk on the phone, text and stuff but, I would LOVE to go somewhere with him one day but there are 2 problems:
1.) I am afraid that if I am alone with him, he might put the moves on me and we might have sex! (Only a kiss will do)
2.) I am afraid that if I go to the movies with him or something, that he might try and play me by taking me somewhere far, leaving me alone or embarrassing me.
What can I do to overcome my shyness and how do I explain to him that I am shy?
P.S. I gave him some excuses! I don't want to seem like a liar or that I don't want to be with him because I DO! it would be like a DATE or something.. My FIRST date!
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? BSLover001 answered Sunday October 23 2005, 7:32 pm: wow i was the same way! well if you've known him since 5th grade you should kno him by now! why do you think he would leave you somewhere or embarass you? If he is that type of person then he is not worth your time..but if you really like him and you dont want to be completely alone with him invite him and a few friends over and just hang out or try group dating. on my first date i went with a group of friends and we had a blast! so I would try the group thing...tell him you are a shy girl and if you two ever dated you would like to take things slow.I was shy but You just have to be comfortable with that person and tell yourself he is just a guy. hes probably more nervous than you are because they have to make the first move so they probly are in the same position as you are in. and everyone gets over the shy stage it just takes some time until you get used to being around guys and know their actions and intentions [ BSLover001's advice column | Ask BSLover001 A Question ]
Advicelady6798 answered Sunday October 23 2005, 7:07 pm: If you are shy then you should go out with him in a crowd first that way you get used to him and see that he is not who you think he is. Maybe inviting your friends and other guys to come to the movies to. Then you guys would go to the movies especially if the car is crowded. If you want to be alone with him then have your mom drive you and drop you off and meet him in the movie place then you guys watch the movie and have your mom pick you up. I would go with the first idea it sounds much better. Or you could talk to him about it if you talk to him you would feel much safer. [ Advicelady6798's advice column | Ask Advicelady6798 A Question ]
ScratchesOnTheWall answered Sunday October 23 2005, 5:41 pm: if you really think he might do that, don't go out with him. If on the other hand you just generally think about the worst possible outcomes of every social event and worry about them (like me) then just comfort yourself with a backup plan. Arrange where to go beforehand and make sure your mum or someone can come and pick you up if you do for some unfathomable reason get stranded.
If you're close to him, just tell him you're shy and have never really done this before. do it with a smile and a nervous but happy expression and you'll just come off doubly cute.
Oh, and always remember- the use of the word "no" coupled with a sharp slap can work wonders.
Lyfe8allbad answered Sunday October 23 2005, 5:41 pm: Date- when two couples go out. If yall are friends it would considered chillin together but if yall are a couple then its a date. Now if a kiss is the only thing it takes before he gets in them pants then something wrong. You need to learn how to control your hormones andbody but thats of topic. Now if he tells you that he is not going to do anything you gonna have to trust him. Just tell him that your a shy girl and that you dont wanna think nuttin more but friends going to the movies. Then if he tries to kiss you just tell him no. and keep doing that If you can control yourself and if you know your boundaries everything should be ok.
craazylau answered Sunday October 23 2005, 5:40 pm: You've just got first date nerves! Think this through- you've known him since 5th grade and you know he's a good guy otherwise you wouldn't be interested in him. If you are alone with him and he tries to have sex with you (which i doubt) you do have a choice in the matter! You're talking as if you have to go along with whatever he says which is completely untrue. If this happens you need to make it clear that thats not something you want to do and he should understand this. You're worried that he's going to leave you alone or embarrass you right? If he's going to go on a date with you that means he wants to be with you- nobody forced him- it's actually what he wants to do. Therefore how likely is it that he's going to abandon or embarrass you? It's just not going to happen like that!!
However after all this, I can understand that you're still going to feel shy and it certainly wouldn't hurt to let him know this. Maybe in the middle of a text conversation you could tell him in a laid back sort of way that you're feeling really shy about it all. That you're really looking forward to being with him it's just that you feel shy. He'll understand and you'll feel better about it all.
To overcome your shyness the best thing you need to do is just take a deep breath and go on the date. You'll realise that it's not as bad as you thought- in fact you're going to really enjoy yourself!! Have faith in the fact that this is a nice guy and you have nothing to worry about. Good luck [ craazylau's advice column | Ask craazylau A Question ]
helpachick answered Sunday October 23 2005, 5:01 pm: hey ok well if this guy is your friend in school, then he'll most likely want to be outside of school too. for a first time away from real "school" just ask him if he's going to the upcoming basketball game, and if he is say so am i and then maybe try to set it up so you can both meet there. after that/or other than that, get all your friends to go to a movie and him and some of his friends too. see what happens and if you both go, dont let him go to far with you, but it would be alright to flirt. [ helpachick's advice column | Ask helpachick A Question ]
xomegaroni answered Sunday October 23 2005, 4:56 pm: you shouldn't go out with him if you don't trust him. you need to totally trust that person, because there are bad situations that can come up & you want to be as safe as possible. why don't you try getting your friends & his friends to come with you guys. kinda like a group date. that way your friends are with you, & he won't feel weird, because his friends are with him too. i think that would be the best idea. try not to be shy. you probably don't need to explain that to him. he'll juss know. try not to lie & give excuses. i know that's hard but try not to. juss tell him how you feel about it.
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