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Money.
Ok, I apoligize in advance if this is really long.
But, i have this friend. We've been really close since elementary school. I really enjoy spending time with her. But when the topic about money comes up, it just makes me ache inside. I don't show it. Okay, so my family doesn't have the kind of money like her family does. Most of the time she just shoves it in my face, i don't really know if she does it on purpose or it just comes naturally.. but it's really starting to make me extremley upset. For example, we're supposed to hang out, and then shes going shopping. I sort of had the option to go with her, but i don't have any money to buy anything. And truth be told, i don't want to watch her shop, that makes it worse. I just want her to realize that theres more things to do than shop & spend money. She has everything i've always wanted. I don't know how to explain this to her, nor i don't even know what to say to her. Any advice on what i should say? Or what i should do?
Thanks Much.
Sincerley, Unhappy.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I'm not sure if the issue is what she has or what she thinks... she sounds awfully materialistic. I can barely stand to go shopping, I'm sick of having all that commercialism shoved in my face. She might not realize how uncomfortable she makes you, but you might drop some hints about how there are other fun ways to spend time that don't involve as much money, like just hanging out and talking or going to nature trails or museums (lots of them have free admission days, you just have to check). Tell her it's not just the money that bugs you, it's doing the same thing and being obsessed with the same yuppie marketing all the time. You just might get through.
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Talk to your friend and explain to her that talking about money around you makes you feel uncomfortable. If she's a true friend, she'll respect your wishes. Try doing something inexpensive that you both enjoy. And, if she's truely a nice friend, she'll treat you to something, not out of pitty, but out of friendship.
♥ Brooke
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oooooook. Hard question-easy solution. I, too have a friend like this (I'm a guy and she's well.. a girl) she used to live right next door to me. We hung out sooooo much when we were little-my best friend was a girl. Ok, now she lives in the richest neighborhood in town. We are still friends at school, but stuff like this happened all the time-she would brag about her money. So you should say no the next time and then no again up to 4 or 5 times-she should realize why you don't want to go sooner or later-probably sooner-and apologize. Then talk to her and tell her why you didnt want to go shopping. Then you will be able to talk it over and figure it out.
hope i helped
-bestadvaround45 (please tell me how i am doing so please rate me)
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It's very difficult, sometimes, to live with someone who comes from another world. I have a friend whose family is very rich. I have another friend whose family is extremely poor. The lucky thing is, we all go to college together and we're all in the same boat (for the most part).
The key to getting along with someone whose financial means are very different from yours, is to meet on neutral ground. It's the only fair thing to do. She may be flaunting her wealth on purpose, either to feel powerful over you (which is very nasty of her) or she may have been taught to act that way by a parent. In any case, it's very gauche of her to show off and make you feel inadequate. If she was a very good friend and cared about how you feel, she would be generous and sensitive to your feelings.
If you really feel she's a friend worth keeping, try, as I said, meeting her on neutral ground. Invite her to an event of your choice, either something free (like a picnic in a park, or swimming or watching old movies at your house) or something you know you can afford (like a movie, maybe, or going to the arcade?). You may have to take the upper hand. If she's too thickheaded to realize that she's putting you in an impossible spot by throwing her money around, you might just have to tell her straight up: "It's not possible for me to spend money like you do, and it's no fun to watch you do it. I'm going somewhere else. Call me when we can do something TOGETHER."
If she doesn't get the hint, I'd suggest you start hanging out with people whose lives don't revolve around cash. There are tons of people who'd like to just have a good time.
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Just tell your friend that your current financial status makes it difficult to do things such as shopping and let her know that talking about money makes you uncomfortable. A true friend will back off the issue rather than make you uncomfortable.
Try finding activities that you can do together without costing a lot of money. Pool your money together once a week to rent a movie and have a girl's night. Pop some popcorn, watch a "girl movie", and gossip about guys all night long.
See if she likes some of your clothes and if she does, maybe set up a weekly swap of one item.
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Just sit her down and tell her how you are feeling and just suggest going somewhere else instead of shopping. Tell her that you find it hard to take when she brags about money and just simply ask her to lay off of it. Just be as honest as you possibly can be. If she is really your TRUE friend then she should totally understand and agree with you and if not.. then if you are willing to fight for yall's friendship try your hardest to deal with it or if you cant stand it any longer then try to let her go. I really hope that i am making since... hope i helped you
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OK WELL, i would start with telling her how you feel....i dont think you should make it into an argument just tell her one day when she asks you to go to the mall .....tell her the reason why you cant go to the mall then why you dont want to go to the mall and next tell her whats bothering you...try to reason and dont use harsh tone because it could hurt your friend when all that you want to do is get the message across right? ***hopeihelped***
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Just tell her you would really like to have fun with her but that you cant afford to do some of the things she wants to do (like shopping). I'd say that she is probably not flaunting her money in your face to be mean. She has it so she just doesn't think about it like someone with no money has to. She most likely doesn't even realize what she is doing or how much it upsets you. If she is a good friend she will understand. So, simply tell her what your feeling. :)
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