Ok so here is my problem i have a really low self eestem i sould nt cause i hear that i am pretty alought and tons of people like me [cheak our my advice column to see pic] but my self- eestem is still really low i hate the way i look and i am never happy i feel like i can't so anyhting right and everything i do i screw up. please help me.
Reality.
ItSmYtRadEmaRk15 answered Sunday June 26 2005, 6:39 pm: I am this exact same way. With me, i found that if you believe in yourself, things tend to really go right! If you wake up in the morning and say "This day is going to be awesome!" and keep assuring yourself that it will, it will be. Also, I was told to write "I'm beautiful" on my mirror. And everytime i look in the mirror *which is alot lol* i have to tell myself that. Also, I am completely sure that you do not screw up everything. Just look for the thing that makes you feel comfortable and that you find to do well and even if you dont do well, if its fun! Some people paint, or sing, or dance, just look for something that you can say to yourself "wow! i did it!" Try to be optimistic!! I reall hope I helped, you can I.M. me anytime you need to!! [ ItSmYtRadEmaRk15's advice column | Ask ItSmYtRadEmaRk15 A Question ]
cUrLyHaiReDcUtiE16 answered Sunday June 26 2005, 5:44 pm: heyy .. if you think you are ugly and broing then thats what you are but if you think you are a hot mama and fun then thats what you are you are what you think you are and just chill out you are very liked by everyone and by looking at your advice column you are very pretty and if it helps just write down all the things you like about yourself on a piece of paper and you will see how much you have that is good
Heptune answered Sunday June 26 2005, 4:06 pm: Here are some things you can do to help your self-esteem:
1) Give yourself positive messages, and stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself. Allow yourself to feel pretty, to recognize that you are a good person, to understand that you have a right to feel good about yourself. If you find yourself thinking bad thoughts, like "God, I'm so fat," tell yourself "NO!" Turn the bad thought off.
2) Understand that you are the only person who has control over your feelings, thoughts, and opinions. No one else can "make" you feel happy, sad, or anything else. People can certainly invite you to feel a certain way, but only you can decide how to react to their input.
3) Identify your needs. What do you need to feel good about yourself? Do you need to feel appreciated for your own self, no strings attached? Do you need to feel appreciated for the work you do, for it to be recognized that you've done a good job? Do you need to feel that your time is structured, that you must know what is happening and when? Do you need to feel that your beliefs are respected? Do you need alone time and privacy? Do you need excitement and a sense of thrill? Do you need a cozy, nest-like environment? These are examples of fundamental, psychological needs that people may have. Figure out what your needs are.
3) Once you have identified your basic needs, learn how to satisfy them by yourself. For example, if you need to feel appreciated, you can get this from yourself by telling yourself, "That was a good thing I did." or "I really look good in these pants!" If you need a lot of structure in your life, make lists and do a lot of planning, put yourself on a schedule.
mushoku answered Sunday June 26 2005, 3:42 pm: I haven't been on here long, but I can't seem to figure out how to view your colum (I can't figure out how to find out who you are/your username).
Anyway, self-esteem/self-confidence/self-image is a hard one to build because it takes itself in order to build itself (if that makes any sense, then you're smart, too... are you 18+? Single? Oh, wait... I shouldn't be doing that ;-p). It's also something I've struggled with.
One of the things to do is to just forget about trying to be invisible and make moves - go talk to people, raise your hand (figuritively speaking, unless you're in class, of course), ask questions, and give answers.
Also, don't worry about the people around you - they will take care of themselves. Do what you are going to do (use wisdom, don't just jump off bridges) regardless of who's watching (again, within reason - don't undress in public or anything like that, though I'm sure you'd draw a crowd if you did).
When you make mistakes, take time to think about what went wrong, and try again. And again. And again. If that's an option. And when you succede, you will be able to succede more, and as you succede more, your self-confidence will increase, as will you self-image, and your self-esteem.
mystical_breeze answered Sunday June 26 2005, 3:19 pm: Everyone (mostly everyone) has someone they're not comfortable with. I mean, I basically think I'm okay looking, but there are some people who are actually jealous of me. You need to look in the mirror and notice the good features about yourself (nice eyes, nose, ears). I think it'll help if you just get fixed on something that you can be confident about. If you're good at sports, show off and be proud! I used to think I was ugly, but then I looked in the mirror and realized I had a nice nose and pretty eyes. You should do the same and see what's beautiful about you, because if you have a good heart, you're beautiful in your own way!
rainbowcherrie answered Sunday June 26 2005, 3:19 pm: First off, I looked at your column and you are beautiful, you honestly have nothing to worry about looks-wise.
I'm alot like you. People tell me I'm pretty, beautiful, hell some even say I'm sexy but I don't believe a word of it. At one point I hated myself so much I was slitting my wrists and crying every night. I'm much better now and I'm happier too, I'm still not too confident but more than before.
The trick is to WANT to be confident. You have to have self belief. If you don't, then there's no way you could ever believe you are a good, intelligent, beautiful person.
Try this excercise. When you are next walking alone or in a group, hold your head up, stick your chest out and smile. It will make you look a whole lot more confident than you are and if you look confident then you will feel it too. At first, you might only be faking the confidence but as you get used to it you will start to be it. When you wake up every morning, look in the mirror, smile and say "I am a beautiful person."
I also suggest that you join clubs or start playing an instrument. Find something you are really good at and work at it because that will make you feel like you can do things right and you're good at something.
Whenever you feel down, force yourself to smile and write a list of all the good things about you.
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.