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humorist-workshop
i dont know what to do~
im 99% sure my dad is cheating on my mom..i was looking at his cellphone one day and it was like his name..lets call him bill and this other girls name lets call her christy..it said bill and christy in love forever and there was a million messages saying i love you back and forth..plus my dad is never around so this isnt really a shock to me..but how am i suppose to tell my mom and should i because i wasnt suppose to be in my dads business anyways! what should i do???!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
wow....this is a tuffy...you dont want to flat out tell your mom that you think your dad is cheating, because then she could get mad at you for thinking that...but, hint to her that you noticed "bill" isnt around and say stuff like i wonder where hes at and who hes with and maybe mom will get to thinking and ask your dad about it...but do not flat out tell your dad you were in his stuff because he would be mad that you caught him...i hope i helped
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Tell your mom. Say, "Mom, I was looking for something and dad's cell phone started beeping so I looked at it and a text message came up saying "I love you." so I got curious and looked at his other messages and I found a bunch of love notes in there saying i love you and stuff." That should work because it's pretty much the truth. But tell your mom to confront your dad by saying, "I came across something on your phone. Some girl saying "I love you" a million times to you." Then, he won't be able to explain and you've caught him red-handed. Or spy on him when he goes somewhere. Spy on him with a video camera or regular camera or something. That way, you have proof! These are just some ideas to catch him and show proof, in case your mom doesn't believe you or your dad TRIES to deny it. This'll work.
Best of luck.
Take a look at my column!
LoVe BrItTaNy
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How you found out is not important; the fact is that you now have the burden of this knowledge and you can't ignore it. You shouldn't have snooped, but I probably would have done the same thing.
It's not your responsibility to enlighten your mom, although you may choose to do so. Personally, I would get somewhere private with my dad (like get him to take me to lunch), then say, "Who's Christy and why are you in love with her? You're hurting our family, and you are scaring me."
Don't answer questions about how you know. That's not the issue.
Remind him that he's your role model and this is not a good role model for your future ability to trust men. Also tell him that his actions affect your life right now; is he going to continue being dishonorable toward your mom? Is he going to leave your mom? What affect does he think this will have on YOUR life?
If he's any kind of a decent person, he will feel some shame.
God bless you, honey. You're facing an adult situation that's really not your business but which DOES directly affect your life in a most fundamental way. My best advice to you is to deal with it directly, like this.
He may simply be more discreet from now on, but at least he'll know that he has lowered himself in your eyes.
Best,
TheSouthernChick
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You should tell your mom before your dad runs away with "christy"and leavs you with your mom and siblings.But it might hurt your mom to know that you where the frist person to find out before she did.Here is what you could do:leave your dads cellphone open where your mom can notice it is open and she will get a littel look at it.I am not trying to start somthing in your family but it is real important that she finds out.Think of how you would fell if it where you.Now think of how your mom feels.Sometimes I hate when things like this happen because it tears the famly apart.But do what you think is best(witch is tell your mom).
*Good luck*Dont forget to rate:)
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OMG what an awful burden for you to find that out. ANd to find out that your dad is acting like a teenager. You must be going through all kinds of emotional turmoil. Here is my advice. Now that you know, start to observe your mother. Watch her, see how she reacts around your dad. Do you think she has a clue? Do you think she suspects anything. DOes she worry about where he is. Does it seem like she really trusts him, or really doesn't care where he is? Does she complain that he is never around?
ONce you determine, as best you can, whether she knows or cares, then decide what to do. But first, is here an adult you can tell first, and aunt or uncle, an older sibling? I think together you can come up with the best way to tell her, and it may even be best if you confront your dad, and let him know that he is jeopardizing the family, YOUR FAMILY!
IF how you found out is an issue, find an opportunity to "find out" in a different way, a totally innocent way. CAn you "run into him" when he is out, and then hey, he is caught with the girl, and no matter what excuse he gives, refuse to believe him (because you know about the textlove messages on his phone. )
If I knew how old you were, I could answer better. If you are a young lady, you know, married and don't live there, then I would say that you are strong enough to tell her and to deal with what may come after. She can lean on you if need be. But if you are a young girl, I think your mom's first impulse will be to protect you from the reality and pain of it, and she may also be embarassed that you found out. (besides being devasted) THis is really a tough situation.
I wish you all the luck in the world, you'll need it. I am sorry for your troubles. And don't think for a minute that any of this is your fault. No matter what happens.
Michele
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Wow that's a hard situation. Perhaps you could open to the page on his cell phone) where all of the conversations are logged), and put the cellphone somewhere your mom will find it. (Make sure the phone doesn't automatically turn off when left alone).
That way it will look like he left his phone somewhere by accident. Either way, you could get in trouble. Just remember your dad has nobody to be mad at but himself.
Maybe you could also talk to your mom (and ask her to say 'she' was snooping on his phone)so your dad won't put the blame on you.
You could also text with a friend and say you were going back and looking at your old conversations when you ran into his.
Those are the three things I can think of. I hope you get things figured out!!
-Krupple
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I really think you need to tell your dad and get all the facts before you go to your mother just to be sure . I believe you but what if you tell your mother ,and she talks to your dad and finds hard evidence that these accusations aren't true. That would only make a whole mess out of things making it worse for you and possibly your mother and father's marriage. Address him and I know that will be very difficult, but think of it as loyalty to your mother.Know all the facts before you act. Tell him what you know and how things seem to you.If you even feel that he is bluffing,lying, then threaten him that you're going to tell your mother the truth. If he says he is, set a time limit for him to tell your mother(which means you'll have to tell him the limit so he'll meet it) otherwise you're going to your mother to tell her the truth if he doesn't with the opportunity given. Let him explain himself and make him feel guilty. He deserves that much if he did it all. And before you go and visit your dad, SERIOUSLY tell your mother before you go.
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Tell your mom before things get more serious between him and his "girl friend" and tell your mom nice and slow, tell ger the clues, and comfort her and tell her that your 99% sure about this...
i wish you sooo much luck
much lovee
kriss <33
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