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she's got a big problem
okay so there's this girl i've found myself quite infatuated with. and things seemed to be going jim dandy and the world seemed to be turning right for once. and then to my shock and dismay it comes out that she has an eating disorder. she refuses to eat, refuses to do anything but excersize and sip water. and she is slowly killing herself with this. i try to tell her that it's not good. i try to tell her of the damage it can do to her. and i try to tell her that it hurts me too (it can send me to tears.. and i never ever cry) and i try all that i can to let her know that it's terrible but nothing will ever work. i feel so useless and worthless and like she's gonna slip through my fingertips and i wont be able to save her. and well i really have no idea what to do or where to go. and i need some help from somewhere in order to help her. this is not good. yet she feels that it will make her feel better about herself. i just don't understand how slowly killing yourself makes you feel better. agh this is so saddening. someone please help me, somehow.
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I'm afraid my friend there is very little you can do. It is her body, it her life, not yours. This may seem not to help but trust on this, you can not live her life.
There is good news however. I said there was VERY LITTLE you can do, not nothing.
Here are you options. But beware, these tips may (and I emphasize MAY) save her life, but (and I emphasize MAY) may destroy your relationship with her also.
Now you know them I will tell how you may help.
(1) First talk to your parents (or a trusted adult). They may be able to share some new insight as well and help you to present it to her parents.
(2) Talk to her parents (if they are a sensible parents then they will help your friend).
(3) If that don’t work, (or you are sure it wont) then tell an adult the SHE will respect.
The reason why you need help from adult, is that you’ve tried to reason with her (Her Peer/friend) , but it didn’t work so you need to get an adult, they may be able to reach her in to getting PROFESSIONAL HELP. I hope it works out please keep me updated and let me know if I helped.
~Teen Guru~
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Maybe you should not only tell her how much it can hurt her, but how much it hurts you. Maybe if she knew how much you cared about her and how much it would mean to you if she did something about this disorder she would do something about this problem. Talk to her and tell her that it hurts you to see her like this. If she doesn't listen you should probably talk to a doctor or at least to her parents, because this is a big problem and sometimes it takes a lot more than one person to fix.
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You need to talk to an adult if she will not listen.
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You need to talk to her parents about this. I know you don't want her mad at you but, I think once she has her act together she will realize you only did it because you care. Eating disorders like this are to much for anyone but a professional to help her with. The person with the disorder usually know its wrong and they may want to stop the behavior but it is almost impossible without help from someone who knows what they are doing. She really needs help because the results of her behavior can be devastating for her...and ultimately for you. Good luck with getting her the help she needs.
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i am very sorry! maybe you should try telling this girl how much you care about her and how much everyone else cares about her!!if it doesnt work, you need to tell a parent or someone you can trust!
maybe this site can help:[Link](Mouse over link to see full location) are some numbers you can call!
i hope i could help and i hope things get better
much love<3
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i used to suffer from an eating disorer as well, so maybe i can help you understand her a little bit more. when she looks in the mirror - she doesnt see what you see. she dosnt see that sehs probably thin and gorgeous. the reflection that she sees is honestly just fat. and she thinks the only way to get skinny is to not eat. because i gurantee she has tried dieting, but because of the sickness - she doesnt see it working when she looks in the mirror. so th best way is to cut out food all together. she feels guilty when she eats and this makes her feel better about her self because it makes her feel proud that she has will power and control. it sounds silly but its true. sadly, theres not much that you can say to her, that will cur her or make her start eating again. you need to tell someone of this. she may get very angry with you at first, but its the right thing to do, and once shes better she will thank you. i did a speech and poster board about eating disorers. if you want me to send you some pictures and facts that you can show her, things that will happen to her. just email me and i will. i felt compelled to write this because "helping you" said something very ignorant that if i knew that perosn i would probably slap them in the face she is not "Doing this for attention" it is a real disease. and i really admire you for caring so much about her. anyway i hope this helped you and i have some really great things that you can show her.
x0strawberrywine@yahoo.com jsut email me for them.
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Like I said: don't make her problems your problems; I understand you care, but as someone cleverly included below, "Don't beat yourself up over it". What you're doing is fine. You're her weak point, and she's cracking.
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well have you told her see is slowly killing herself? cause i think that will scare her out of it. and if she thinks eating like that is cool it is not really so i am thinking she does it because of what other people think. and, she doesn't need to worry about what people think and to just go on with life cause i dooubt shes fat so what even if she was you liked her i mean she must be nice so just sit down and tell her this stuff!
hope i helped
helpingyou
(check out my colum and ask me a further question)
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oh my gosh that is so sweet. but as much as you tell her it is really hard to stop something like that because after a while it gets addicting. what u HAVE TO DO is first take a picture of her and show her how skinny she has become. ask her how much she ways and tell her its not normal. if that dosnt work you MUST get an adult IMMEDIATLEY even though she might get mad at you she will regret it later. you seem like an awesome guy look me up some time 301-802-8532 hope it works out and help her get through it all
~JORDAN~
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Wow, I can tell that you are very intelligent, and the fact that you have not reached a resolution, really makes me think that I cannot help you, but i assure you that I will try in the greatest way I can. This girl has a diesase, and if your efforts have not yet helped her and made her aware of her actions, then i assume there's little you can do. I think that all you can do is keep badgering her until the affects of her actions start to set in. I kno you would really like to avoid that, but the only other soultions I can come up with, is either ending your friendship with her to show her how much it means to you or getting help with someone who could get through to her.
Best of Luck
Theresa
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oh my. you have my sympathy. you are so sweet for caring but please, dont beat yourself over it, its not your fault! anad.com is the site for eating disorders and maybe you can find some info on there. hope this helps! <3
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