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moving on to college does not mean losing a friendship..
i'm currently a senior in high school (counting down the last few days before graduation!) and over the last year, i've met an incredible friend. i met him last august, but over the last nine months, we have grown to have the most complex friendship i have ever had in my entire life; we immediately connected, both having similar interests in literature, music, opera, coffee, etc. he is a year younger than i am, thus when i leave for college, he will be in his last year of high school.
he is currently going through a lot of emotional pain and stress in his life. i admire him him so much for all he does; his parents have just recently separated and he takes care of his two younger sister. i see how he takes charge, takes on more responsibilities than either of his parents do. in addition, he has grown to be an extremely central part of my life.
i'm going to be a good five hours away from my friend next year. he isn't very close with many other kids in our school, or even outside of school, thus i know our separation is going to hurt him (as well as me!). i keep telling him i'm going to come back and visit, that i want to see him and i'm looking forward to seeing him in the school musical next year.. he insists that once i'm gone, i'm not going to come back; he insisted the other day he feels as though he is inferior to me (which i don't understand, considering he is extremely smart, did much better on his sats than i ever did, and has a musical gift).
i have seen how he has lost a lot of people in his life; he refrains from expressing much emotion around me because i believe he is afraid to let me in, afraid of losing me.. how can i assure him that i will keep in touch, that i will come back, that he won't lose me? i tell him constantly that he means to much to me, that he is unlike anyone i have ever met.. but i fear i tell him too often and it all sounds so fake..
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wow ok that got kinda confusing but i think i got it. just keep telling him that and give him a friend kiss and stuff (if your a girl) because sometimes a kiss can say a lot. and ask him if he wants to apply for the same collage and maybe he will get selected also and you will only not have to see him for a year. make sure to email or write or talk on the phone or something like once every other day or so to make him feel like your still thinking about him. well i really hope i helped and i was touched by your story.
Tara<333
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Well its hard for someone to believe what you say , so i say to him you'll see. Call him keep in touch with him ,make some suprise stop bys . Tell him 5 hours isnt that long and tell him how he means to you , and you wouldnt want to lose him .
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I'm sure that he keeps saying you aren't coming back because he wants you to tell him you are. It sounds like people have maybe done that to him in the past. Keep reassuring him and when you are gone keep in touch. The internet makes the world so small these days! I think that once he hears from you and you come back a couple of times he will feel better about it. Until then he is going to wonder though. You will just have to prove him wrong. :)
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I guess that he is uncapable of seeing that you will be back probably because of all the loss and pain in his life, he obviously thinks that it will be the same with you.
Just trying to not change your routine with him might help. Seeing him more than often may make him think that your trying to cram in every last moment you can get with him as you will not see him afterwards. Seeing him less than often will make him think the same. Just act normal and don't talk about college that much.
Then when you do go to college make sure to phone him lots etc, etc. Alternatively if you really want to reasure him, leave something that is very precious to you with him and that you will definetly come back for. That will help persuade him that you are going to come back.
Good luck, hope he finally believes you
Claire xx
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He feels that he is inferior to you obviously because there may be certain qualities that you possess that he may of course may covet. He lacks certain friends and he has too much responsibility. I don't know exactly what you want advice on, but I do know that you need to do your absolute best to talk to him over the phone. To be there for him to show him that you really and absolutely care about him. Email, phone, weekend visits, surprise visits, and etc. Try your best to show him that you care and that not a lot will change . If you can, try to find a certain burden to relieve . Just be there for him. Both for when he needs you and when he doesn't need you .
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you should keep telling him that and when you move away you should come back to see him as much as you can.
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