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not being the biological father
Hi my girlfriend recently told me she was pregnant and that the baby was concieved before we met i love this girl and was looking for any advice on not being the biological father and also looking after a small child any input from people who have experienced this and been through it would be very helpful thankyou in advance.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
i think that if you think that you and this girl are going to be together for a loong time then it is okay to be the father-figure the kid neeeds a father either way you look at it. so i say go for it.
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ok. I don't have any experience on this, but I think that even though your not the father, then you should still be there for the baby 100%! This baby needs you, and may not get any thing from its real dad. But thats just my oppinion.
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treat the child as your own...dont be a prick to the kid because his mom fucked sum other dude before you...i mean its not his or her fault...just treat him or her like your own child..any many can be a father...but it takes a REAL man to be a daddy...be that baby's daddy..
happy parenting
nichole
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Be careful about making any "father" commitments too quickly. Take the rest of her pregnancy deciding what you really want to do. However, if you are a loving father, it won't really matter that you're not the biological father. Be prepared to deal with the biological father, since he does have rights to the baby, and he can choose to enforce those rights any time from birth sometimes until the child's 18th birthday.
As far as looking after a small child, I got a good tip from my mom. Read everything you can about parenting, then forget it. Educate yourself and then play it by ear. It can work. I had a baby before I married my husband, and he is an excellent, wonderful father, and the baby loves him.
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Ok, if she recently told you she was pregnant, she must be a recent girl friend. PLEASE be careful. you don't know her that well yet. What do you know about her family, her background? Why did she leave the boy who is the father? Do her parents know? Perhaps you are both young adults, and don't need to inform your parents, and that is fine, but you should still be careful. Is she scared, is she helpless, is she looking for someone to rescue her? You will find that that gets old real fast. Well perhaps you have six months or so to make up your mind. You can hang in there and get to know her better, but be cautious and trust your instincts. Is her family behind her? Are they going to pitch in and help? These are important things. Even young married couples who have children, have their families for support. It is important. I can be overwhelming to have a baby even when it is planned for.
If you decide to go through with it, then if you love her, you will love the child. Most likely you will be the kind of dad that your father was, and hopefully that was good. I hope you are both prepared to put yourselves and your relationship and enjoying the younger years of your lives as free and without responsibilities, once this baby arrives. The baby must come first. There are lots of books on parenting. You can get inexpensive ones on this web site
some are used, but very cheap. www.half.com
go there and search on books and search on parenting.
Michele
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If you want to be the step-father, that is one thing that you can be but don't ever assume the position of the biological father because he has more rights then you do. You can love the child like your own, it doesn't matter who's child it actually is. But you do need to decide if you really want to do this, because once the child gets attached to you, it will be really hard for them to understand if you suddenly decide it is too much to deal with.
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The first thing you should do is decide if you're ready to be a parent. If you are you then have to decide if you'll be able to love and care for this child as if it were your own. If you cannot do either of these things it would be best if you ended your relationship with the girl because you'll end up hurting both her and the child if you stay.
If you are ready to be a parent and love that little one to death, talk to your girlfriend about it and find out what kind of involvement she would like from you and give her an extra hand (ie go to parenting classes with her, help her baby shop, etc.)
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If you love her that much you should be willing to bring the baby up as if its your own. Just stand by her and you should be fine. Dont worry aslong as the baby gets care and lots of love nothing can go wrong.
luv roxie
XxX♥XxX
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parenting classes are quite fun, i hear. my cousin has twins and the biological father of them sees them every weekend but she is with her bf and they consider him to be like the father. taking care of a young child is quite difficult, try to read up on it and talk to your girlfriend and try to help. later on in life if you really love this girl and the baby you should look into adopting her/him.
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How can you love her? You have only known her for a few months. Are you prepared to marry this woman and be the father of her child? If not, step aside. Her life will soon be dedicated to her child. She will no longer be availble to date. She needs a patner, not a boyfriend. Don't try to be a hero by assuming responsibility. You'll end up resenting her for it.
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