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Feeling Guilty
Ok, I've been seeing this guy for almost 4 years (I know, quite a long time!) I met him at uni and now I am in my final year at uni and he is working miles away. We have never been apart like this before as we were always together at uni.
I have mixed feelings about how much longer I want the relationship to go on for. Whenever we speak on the phone he says something stupid or puts me in a bad mood and makes me unhappy.
I feel I want some time to be young free and single especially as I have been witht the same guy for such a long time. Surely these signs mean it won't last??
Also, I went for dinner with some friends of my flatmate and I met this guy who I found really attractive.
I would never ever cheat on my boyfriend but why am I thinking of this other guy all the time when I should be thinking about my boyfriend?
We all went out last night to a club and he was there. He walked me home. Nothing happened but it was so nice to have some attention from someone else and for some reason he made me feel more wanted than my boyfriend does.
Help!! I am so frustrated I don't know what to do! Even if anything did happen, this guy goes back to Australia at the end of May.
Thank you so much if u do reply - i really appreciate it and will give you all 5's! x
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Don't worry, what you're feeling is perfectly normal. The feeling that you want to be single again doesn't imply that it won't last, but perhaps your relationship with your boyfriend is starting to get a little boring. As for being flattered, every girl loves to be flattered. Just so long as you know the limits, you're fine. And for thinking about other guys, don't feel like you're limited to thinking about your boyfriend 24/7. It's ok to find someone else attractive, and acknowledge that feeling, but keep it at that.
The reason you feel this way is because you've been with your boyfriend for so long, and now since you don't spend time with each other as often, you miss feeling loved and cared for now that he's far away, and you're starting to consider your options. You just feel isolated is all. Also, because he's been making you feel unhappy lately (the distance is probably unbearable to him and he takes it out on you), you're emotions are taking it's toll on you where you form a grudge against your boyfriend for saying those things, and then you start to cultivate thoughts such as "why is he treating me like this? a good boyfriend wouldn't do that." Then these thoughts lead to thinking about other people...
My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly three years, and I get flattered when guys give me attention as well. However, I would never cheat on him because I love him a great deal. I've had the same feelings that maybe I want to depart from my boyfriend to pursue the single life, but what has kept me with him are his great qualities like commitment, loyalty, honesty, and he's really sweet. Think about this, how many other guys can you find like that out there?
Hope this helps!
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Have these feelings been there for awhile or just since your guy left the uni? Could be you simply miss him being around. See if you can get some time together before you make a big decision,you do have 4 years invested.
If after spending a weekend or something together, you feel the same, call it quits.Just be sure it isn't that you miss having him around first because once you break up, you may not be able to go back. :)
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I really think that if your thinking of other guys and not your boyfriend i think you guys aren't meant to be and sometimes it is nice to be single, loves to serious. I really think you should breakup with your boyfriend and see how it goes with this other guy thats going back to Australia, but don't ask him out because then your going to be in the same situation that you are now. I just think you should make the best of time with him that you have now with him. i hope i helped!!!!!
luv,
~*chelly*~
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It seems like you are getting sick of your boyfriend because you guys have been together soo long. You are soo used to how he treats you. I think, if you have feelings for this guy, then go for him. It is obvious that he makes you happier!
-Brianna
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I think you know the answer yourself, it's time to split.
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Okay, first off, this is going to seem harsh, but these problems are yours not his. You are the one who is afraid that they are losing interest in the relationship, not him. For goodness sake, reach out to your boyfriend and tell him how you are feeling. It won't make him happy, but at least he'll be forewarned. Furthermore though, you have to give him a chance to make things better. You need to talk to him about how the two of you can work together to make things better. It's not fair to either of you to drop four years of history on the whim of a couple weeks just because you two are distant from each other. Four years is a long time, are you sure that you will ever find again what you had with him during that time?
Finally, don't listen to these people who tell you to take a break. Yeah, sure, go ahead and tell him you want a break if you want to shatter his heart into a million pieces. I don't understand why it is that women feel that men want to hear the words "I want to take a break." It usually turns out to be a woman's way of saying that she wants to break up with us slowly, but it gives us hope. No, no breaks unless they are mutually agreed upon. If you can't manage this, then just dump him right off. It'll hurt like hell but eventually he can heal from that. How can you heal from a wound that's still being cut?
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first off you should talk to your boyfriend. explain to him what you told us. just let him know that you need some time to be you and to express yourself freely. that in this time, you need to figure out what you are looking for in life. try taking a break for a while. go out and hang out with other guys. if you find this one attractive be cool with him and hang out and express your self to him and just go with it. however, just remember in the long run, he is moving back to austrailia. so try not to get too attatched. maybe be good friends or even a friends with benefits. but becoming to emotionally attatched is only going to hurt you when he is having to move back to aus. in a roughly about a month. maybe someone else will come along for you or maybe you will relaize that your current boyfriend is the way to go. but whatever happens, you need to take a break and find out what you really want out of all of this. that, in my opinion only, is what i would suggest. if your boyfriend really cares about you, then he will understand and will be glad to give you all the time you need to take. if he doesnt understand just try explaining it a little better to him and try to get him to understand. if this does not work, then he is just simply too involved in having the relationship that he doesnt care. he will be too involved in it because of the 4 years you were together, that now he just thinks thats how it should be. he may still think that however, but giving you time would be the best solution he could have in this.
try it and see how it goes with him. if you need anythng else, let me know. ill try to answer the best i can with my opinion on it. good luck hun.
♥
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Tell your boyfriend that you think the two of you should take a break. If you find that you are happeir without him, then there you go. Have fun with this new guy until may. You never know, you may find a way to stay together, and even if you don't you can still write each other and stay good friends. Sounds like you are too good for your other boyfriend anyways.
Hope i helped!!!
~oxkatekaylaxo
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