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stupid father
ok.. i have like.. the worlds worst father.. he has no pics of me or my 2 siblings in his house.. he gave my PS2 to my step brother.. he bought me a 50$ present for chrissy and thats it.. he didnt want me to get my car lisence, and he said the job that took me half a year to get is unsecure and crap (22$ and hour -making all things plastic in cars(holdens for you in aus)) what should i do about this? atm i see him about once every six months...
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Simply put, your a hell of a lot luckier than a lot of people out there
I haven't seen my father since I was 16, that was the first time I met him.
Since then he has stopped paying child support before he was supposed to, he has stopped sending cards on christmas and birthdays. And every holiday me and my sister call him up, only to get an answering machine and have not recieved a phone call from him in at least 3 years.
I would love to get a simply phone call from him. Let alone a $50 present from him.
You should be happy for the things that you do have and realize that there are other's out there with so much worse.
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ok my dad ust to do that but i quite talking to him and seein him he was really sad but i had to go it know its like he loves me more when he dont he just didnt show it before
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This is a man to ignore. I agree, he sucks. You only see him every 6 months or so. Tell your mother you'd like to discontinue visitation that his influence is disturbing and not welcome. There are only two reason I can think of that would explain his behavior, one that he wants to control you from a distance, but I think it is most likely that he is punishing you to hurt your mother. This may just be a problem between the two of them and you need to find a means of forcing a confrontation between them to be sure. If your mother is not willing to talk to him about this you may be better off to suspend your affections, though I know he's your father and that dispite everything I'm sure you love him. You can't allow him to control you in anyway. every 6 months does not give him a right to make choices FOR you. That is your mom's job since she is the custodial parent (so I assume since you don't live with him.) If any of this sounds right think about my suggestions, family counceling would be a great thing, but I don't forsee him agreeing to something like that. He is just too distant. I hope he wakes up and realizes how badly he is hurting you, but men are notoriously selfish when they seek to control something or someone. Good Luck, Sweetheart. I hope things get better.
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The best way to get things to change is to start off the changes yourself. If you don't like the fact that he doesn't have any pictures of you in his house, why not give him a picture of you and your siblings in a nice little frame as a gift, and tell him that you noticed he didn't have anything of you in the house. He'll probably appreciate such a gesture.
I am not trying to shift the blame from your father on to you by any means - it does sound from your question that he's treated you unfairly - but it is true that if you want things to change, you need to start changing yourself, because otherwise you'll be waiting a while. Ignoring him isn't going to improve your relationship and mean he suddenly becomes super-caring, it'll just leave him feeling even further disconnected from your life. Instead of calling him less, why not call him more? If he speaks to you more and knows more about you and what you like and what you do, he's less likely to make ignorant comments about your job and more likely to understand what kind of things you want for Christmas and birthdays. When your birthday is approaching, bring up the subject with him and talk about things other people are getting you and things you like, so he has a sense of what's appropriate. A parent who's far away can often feel disconnected and overwhelmed by birthdays and Christmas and have no idea what to get their children because they feel they don't know them that well. If you remedy by talking and making an effort with each other, you may well find you get something you are happier with.
Whatever you do though, always keep trying. Father's can be incredibly frustrating, but you want to keep having a relationship with him. Before you think about ignoring him or seeing him less, imagine a future where you weren't in contact. Any relationship, even one where you aren't on the best of terms, is better than no contact at all. All the best.
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My step-mom is in that same situation with her father and I am with my mother. What I have found works best, is just to ignore him the best you can. Yeah, it's hard, he is your dad, but if all he is doing is bringing you down, then you need to stay away from him until he can wise up and be a nicer father. He should be proud of his kids, and he should certainly pay a little more attention to you guys, but it seems like you're doing fine without him, talk less on the phone and maybe see eachother less. Whatever you think works best. I hope I helped, and I really hope that your situation gets better. My best wishes. -Angel
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Um... a $50 present isn't bad you know. Maybe it's nothing compared to the PS2, and I don't know your financial situation. But- that is good for a present.
However, I understand just what it's like to have an awful father. I had an argument with mine, and I didn't talk to him for nearly three years.
If you choose to look at it like this, though. As you get older, it will become better- even if slightly. You're just going to have to stick it out til then.
Oh, and btw- congratulations on getting your job. $22/hour is great- I work in a kitchen and get $11/hour.
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