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In a jammm
I think my best friend might be in an abusive relationship. Sorry if this is long, but I really need some advice... Its really important
Last year around this time, my friend met a guy. She had been in other realtionshops before, but this one was "different". She actually told me she loved him, and she lost her virginity to him also. They spent absolutley every minute together, and he would go with us everywhere...even when the girls went out for my birthday...he HAD to come. He showed up, on my birthday, at my house, with a rose. I thought you know, how nice of him...to bring me a rose in my birthday. But he gave me a dirty look, and told me "no, its for meg". He's not really social, and honestly, doesn't have any friends. All winter was like this. total obsession, sickening. So around the beginning of june, me and the girls took her out...and we got a little drunk. She kissed a guy, but only a peck. She felt guilty and immedatley told "him", who in return, flipped out completley. Dispite my harsh feelings for this guy, me and my friend would talk to him online and treat him as if he were our friends, even if it meant telling him how meg was decieving him...because, after all, she was cheating on him. So during the summer, she had a party. They had broken up for the summer, of course another meg thing to do, break it off so she could do whatever she wanted all summer. This night, though, was different. She was still telling him she loved him, and that they would get togheter, and the night before, they went to a concert togheter and he claimed it was the greatest day they had shared. Meg threw a party at her house, and her old boyfriend showed up. Jon found out and walked 2 miles to her house, knocked on her door and he answered. He flipped out, and punched him. He also punched a wall and shattered his knuckle. The first person he called was me, because i,at this time, did feel bad. He came in my house, around 1am...and i bandaged up his hand, which was completley out of line. I didn't want to attend this party because I didnt want to be involved with the concequences, but actually i was at the bitter end. Meg got drunk and had sex with her ex. Me and my friend dana didn't know what to do, at this time we were both good friends with jon, and we hated to see him hurt. So, we told him, adh he swore to secrecy he wouldnt tell. And he didn't, he lied that he found out another way. But they got back togheter, after all this, i can't even explain. Now that school started again, he doenst even talk to me, he igonres me and my friend totaly. He leaves her 10 messages on her voicemail a day. They are always together...still...despite all this. He throws chairs and gets mad and yells at her and they are still together. At first we thought it was cute, now its just turned in to this obsession. I dont even think he cares about her ..he just needs to feel secure. So this is where we stand. Our health class teacher told us these are all signs of an abusive relationship...but she won't listen. I need to do something...but what? Ive tried everything...please help me and thank you SO MUCH for reading this.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If she is in an abusive relationship, try and get her out of it right away. Shes a good friend of yours and you dont want to see her get hurt. So what if hes mad at you...sure its going to bother you for a while but from the sounds of it it seems like you should stay away from this guy.
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I am so sad about what happened to your friend =:(. You should see if you notice anything rong with her. After ask her. if you really really think she is being abused go to the authoriticy say this is confidential and tell them.
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Well first dont jump to conclusions...
But your right he does seem a little obsessive....
secoundd look at your friens body see if you notice any scars and if you see alot question her aabout them... If she denies them and you know shes lieing you need to tell her rents.. now I know youll feel really bad on telling but you have to remember you could be saving her life...
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Sounds to me that right now he is in the stages of being emotionally abuse not physically abuse. Men who are abusive tend to wait untill their relationship is completly secure befor actual physical abuse takes place. I know that reality is hard to take but you can not help your friend unless she realizes whats going on. You can talk untill your hair falls out but in her mind it is love. Hopefully one day she will come to her sences and hopefully it is not to late. I hope I have helped.
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well 1st of all u cant control the feelings taht ur friend has teh best thing u can do is advise her and let her no hwo u think he is make her realize and make her undertand u but dont b 2 harsh on her but put it down easy not harsh and if hse odenst belive u than the bets thing a best firend can do is support her hope i helped! o yea p.s. u never no if it is abusive cus it could b different w. her and him u never it could b different it coudl b sumthin special between them that u dont no!
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Ok, I have been here. See if you can get the health class officer to talk to her alone. Tell the officer what you told us. Then you have to wait until he does something so invasive that she comes to her senses. The ball is in her court as to what to do. It is a mentally abusive relationship and could lead to something much worse.
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