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Wakes..
my neighbor was pregnant with twins, not even 5 months in the the pregnancy her water broke and the babies were born, sadly, ian passed away because he wasn't strong enough to breath on his own. it's a closed ceromnoy so only my family and two others are invited. do you think i should go, the atmosphere of wakes just scare me peroid. honestly, i want to go, i'm just iffy about it. do you think she'd understand.. x3
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
when my uncle died, my mom asked me if i wanted to go to his wake. I told her that i would think about it... Well, i thought about it, and i decided to not go. Not only have I never been to a funeral/wake before, I was scared about seeing my aunt(it was her husband), and my cousin. I could not bare to see them cry and see them upset. So when i told my mom i didn't wanna go, she understood. Just talk to your parents. Explain to them why you don't wanna go. Im sure they will understand. I do know one thing, after the wake/funeral, there is always a little get together... You know, to say ur sorry, and help comfort people..... You could go to that. I hope I helped.... Good Luck!
bsktballplaya
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Things like this are always difficult, especially when it involves children. I'm sure she would appreciate the support if you were there, but she would understand if you couldn't go. If you feel like you can't handle it, you shouldn't go.
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If it scares you to go there, then i think she'd understand. If you don't go it'd be really nice to write a card or something though, just do something nice for her. I'm sure then, if she didn't understand before, she would, because she'd know you care.
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In this situation, your neighbor's feelings are more important than your own. Just being there will be important to her. Your absence will definitely be noticed, especially considering so few people are invited to the funeral/wake anyway. So you don't have to stand around feeling uncomfortable not knowing what to say, offer to help out with babysitting her other kid or something. Being useful will keep your mind occupied.
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You have to weigh it up. On the one hand, it sounds like your attendance is quite important to your neighbour, and it's important to show your support, for her and her families sake. However, if you think you would find it really traumatic and frigtening, you shouldn't go. As others have said, there are other ways to show your support, and I'm sure your neighbour would understand that you just didn't feel able to cope with the situation. But I think if you can go, you should. It is never going to be particuarly pleasant, but if you can attend and pass on your condolences, the wake is the best time to do that.
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RE: Wakes...
Grief and loss are very complex animals. Forget etiquette. If attending the wake will make you uncomfortable, and you know that others will be there to lend support, then don't attend. You can find your own way of showing your support, through a kind note or a thoughtful gesture. Your neighbor is going to carry this loss indefinitely and will learn to deal with it in her own way and time. There will be plenty of opportunities to be there for her and her family apart from the wake.
Kind wishes,
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You should talk to her about it and tell her how you are feeling about the whole thing, I think she'd understand, but I think it would support her alot if you were to go
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You should go.
You're not there to make yourself feel happy... you're going out of respect for the family and to show support for the loss of their baby.
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hun, im so sorry for your neighbors loss, and i can understand how you would feel iffy about it.
1. if you really dont want o go, i think before the wake, try to spend time with your neighbor you, let her know your there for her, even tho you dont want to go to the wake, try to show her that you want her to feel better.
2. or if you go to the wake, and still feel uncomfertable, try to think how she feels, loosing her child, and her baby never got a chance to live, think of how bad she must feel.
i hope it helps
good luck
<3- looza
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