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Can friends date?
I am sure that this question has been asked before but I'd like some answers pertaining to my exact situation. I ussually hate online advice forums, but thougth I'd give it a try before I critisize it. Ok, so enough, here's my problem.
My best friend is a girl. She (and I) are 15 years old. I've known her for about two years now. We have been through so much together and help eachother out in so many ways that I see our friendship permanent unless I personally screw it up. When we first met, I immediatly liked her and wanted to date her. When I found out she felt the same way, I planned on asking her out. But some stupid girl found out that she liked me and proclaimed it to the school and also wrote a letter from me (which I didn't write) to her asking her out. Then this menace of a girl embarrased her in front of the entire cafeteria by starting a chant of "ask her out (then my name)". After that, we just became friends and never really brought it up again. It's been two years since then and we have both had at least one boyfriend or girlfriend. I am starting to really like her and it haints me that we never even gave it a shot. But I am not sure if she likes me more than a best friend or if she would agree to go out with me. She is the only person I trust and I can't give her up as a friend, which is why I haven't risked our friendship by asking her out. So, where do I go? What do I do? What do I tell her? What will she say? If she refuses to go out with me, will our friendship be awkward and ruined?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You should bring it up if you like she may feel a lil bit wierd but that would be a normal reaction outta that sort of experience. But if she says no then you have to respect that and stick with that let her know that you value what you have now and you would never want to ruin it!-trix
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honestly, i have been in a year and a half long relationship with a guy who has been one of my best friends forever. the closer you are to someone, the easier you fall in love. so there you go... best friends can fall in love. now to answer the "how" part of the question. since you trust this girl, i think you should tell her that you have feelings for her and see how she responds to that statement. then if its positive, then ask her on a date to test the waters; i mean she doesnt have to be your girlfriend right then and there. if its not good news, then yeah, she knows you like her, but if you never told her then you'd never know if she likes you back. i really dont think that your friendship would be ruined if she didn;t like you back...you'd just have to move on and show her that you have feelings for other people too. good luck :)
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Well it is really normal for friends to date because once you start to like your friends as friends you like than more than friends ... well me and my ( FRIEND ) we like each other .. he tells me he loves my every day but we dont want to ruin our friendship if we brake up but .. WE GO OUT NOW YAY !! and we have been going out for like 3 months now so i would say give it a shot you have nothing to lose
Love Ashley , ~ plz rate me ~
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go for it! theres nothin you hab to lose...just because she rejects you dunt mean thah you will both fall out of sync or anything...i cant reallie anser all your questions like "what do i do?" or "what will she say?" buh i think thah things will work out...
if you dont take a chance now you mite reallie regret it latter, and since you hab a chance to NOT regret it then you should take advantage of it wile you can...as i sed theres nothing to lose and if shes your best frend then everythin should stay the same...theres no reason for things to get awkward IF she rejects you...if she dusnt reject you then happy ending and no worries
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I think you should talk to her about how you feel. Let her know that your bummed about the fact that you guys never gave it a chance and you never know what could have happened. I think that if bestfriends go out and end up breaking up I think that it might make the relationship strong in a sense. Tell her what you want and how you've liked her for so long, let her know that you dont want a weird relationship with her and if she doesnt want to be together that you're glad just being friends. Good luck and i'm sure you dont have anything to worry about
-holly-
Hope I helped
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Alrighty. Well, me and my boyfriend have been friends for a while and when I started to have a crush on him he found out. Shortly after, he asked me out. We are very happy together and we are just better friends. This happened before with another one of my friends and after we broke up we are still good friends. So give it a shot. If things don't work out, then ask if you guys can still be friends. Try not to ask her out until you find out that she likes you. (even if it is a little bit). Once that happens, if she says no, things go back to normal. No big change. So what do you got to lose? Good Luck!!
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to tell you the turth i think she would give it a try! you never know tell you ask her or tell her that you still got feelings for her and you want to get together and see how it goes. you guys have been friends for a long time and you guys tryed it once and someone ruined it for you. I really think you should confront her and tell her how you feel. to answer your questions. . . . . you go to her, you talk to her about gettin together, that you like her and you want to see if you can be better then bestfriends and try the boyfriend girlfriend thing again, I am not sure but i think she will be more then happy, I don't think so I think you guys will still be best of friends! hope this all works out for you. good luck!
*~*Crystal*~*
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Well, I've been in this position more than once. The first was with a friend who pretty much knew how I felt. Were still best friends, and feel if we dated it would ruin our closeness (She tends to date a lot). The most recent time ended terribly. I made the mistake of telling her how I feel when I knew she didn't feel the same way. She made up lies involving the guy she about to date, saying she wouldn't date either of us, and that she couldn't chose between us anyway (They started to date shortly after, during which she made up more obvious lies in a pathetic attempt to spare my feelings and keep her image intact).
You say that you know she felt the same way? Chances are if she felt that way then, she feels that way now. There's no rule saying that you have to change your relationship if she doesn't feel the same way. If you're worried about what would happen if you two broke up, don't be. Can you honestly think of a good reason why you would break up in the future? From what I have seen, relationships are far more meaningful when you're friends first. What you should do is tell her in person. Tell her that you've always liked her more than a friend, and ask her if she feels the same way. You can also keep it really short and to the point and tell her you think you're in love with her, sometimes that's the best way. If she doesn't feel the same way, I'm almost sure she'll empathetic for you. It may be awkward (As you have feared), but it's definitely something you two can get over. I would definitely tell her as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. You'll beat yourself up if you don't.
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If your lady-friend is single, I would simply talk to her (In Person, without the pressure to look into your eyes, people tend to lie) Tell her, though it may seem difficult, exactly what you have said here. For example, you might say 'You know, Jane, the feelings I had for you when we first meant never left, and I would very much like to see what it would be like if I were more than a friend to you. I love being friends with you, so whether you say yes or no, we will still be fine. I wasn’t sure how to tell you this *chuckle* Have I creeped you out yet?' Except, not quite so creepy. Honestly I think you should relax, you are good friends as you have said, so just tell her how you feel and try and make sure she's comfortable, even if she doesn't feel the same way. If there is pressure on either side of the decision, the friendship could break, because no one works well under pressure.
Just relax, think calmly before you speak, and consider that this Could be strange for her to hear after so long, and tell the truth. I have a feeling she will understand.
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