|
Consoling
I've always been really bad at finding things to say to people when they're upset. I mean, I know that usually what they need is just for their friend to be there for them, but I can't just stand there while they cry...for instance, one of my friends has been having a lot of problems lately: she fights with her mother often and recently her grandfather was taken to the hospital and they think he might have cancer. She gets upset often and i never know what to say or do! I feel horrible...i need some advice on what to say when she's going through hard times or crying on the phone or whatever because I always feel that I'll sound stupid and not good enough of a friend. when someone has cancer you can;'t tell the person 'oh, it'll be okay' because it won't! so please, if you have any advice i'd be glad to hear it
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Don't worry if comforting things to say don't come naturally to you. All your friend needs to know and feel is that you are there for her. Just be there for her and give her a hug. Let her know that you care about what is going on in her life. Try to do things to take her mind off of everything that is going on around her. For instance, whenever she is fighting with her mom take her to the mall and just walk around. Give each other facials or makeovers. Paint each others toenails and fingernails. When you do things together it may make your friend feel a lot better. That is all the consoling your friend should need. If she knows that you are there she will find it in her heart to care more. Take her mind off of the pain. That is what being a good friend is all about. I will be here if you need to talk! Good luck!!!
]
I think a lot of the time she just needs someone to listen. Give her a hug when you talk to her in person. I would just try to be a good listener and not say much at all.
]
Believe it or not, she may not need you to say something. A simple, "I am sorry to hear that and I hope everything works out" is all you need to say. Alot of times, when someone has a problem, they just need someone to listen to their problems. Just be a good friend and listen.
]
You need to support her, and let her know how much she means to you. It seems like she means a lot to you. You have to say things from your heart. Because if you really believe that she can make it through this, you need to be helping her each step of the way. Let her know that. Tell her that whatever happens with her grandfather is not her fault, and that everything happens for a reason. She will become a stronger person at the end. And when a lot of things happen at once, it is depressing. If you notice mood swings or constant aggressive behavior there is something really wrong. Talking helps. I know that when something happens to my friends no matter what I try to bring a smile to their face. Since you mentioned she gets upset often, that is not healthy, do some fun things with her. Whats her favorite thing to do? Cheer her up a bit, and have her forget her problems. If you can't don't feel horrible...there is only so much you can do, and if you are trying your best that's all that matters! Just have a long talk with her, let her know that you need her as much as she needs you. This is a really bad time in her life, and theres only a few people to depend on, so be one of them and make sure you don't treat her any differently than you would if none of this was happening. Example: If a death in the family occurs, don't avoid her or assume she needs a lot of time alone. Sure she may be depressed but she is still the same person as she always was. But don't worry you will do fine. I'm sure she loves you! Let her know that you love her as well! Good luck sweetie, Love ya- Mandee
]
Just say something, "I wish I could say something but sorry sounds so inadequate. I feel bad you have to go through this. Is there anything I can do?". Honestly, the little things help. Good luck!
]
You need to support her and let her no how much she means to you.Well if the person is near death reassure your friend that he will only be going to a new place and to spend time with him as much as possible. Just hug her alot and let her know that you are there for thru thick and thin no matter what. And there are always people there for her. There is really not much you can say. Just hug and talk a lil bit. -trix
]
Just give them a big hug and say "Whatever happens, I'm here for you." Believe me, a small gesture like that means a lot. You don't have to come up with anything fancy to say to make them feel better.
]
This is what I say: __________, you know I love you and I'll be right here for you. I know I can't take your pain away or even begin to imagine what you are going through but I can promise you, I will be right here by your side.
]
More Questions: |