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what do i say
long story: i was 16 when i got pregnant i couldnt tell parents cos they were very strict so i hid it for 7 months i was thinking about adopting him but when he was born i couldnt do it he was so lovely and my parents loved him too, when they asked me about the fether i said i didnt want him to know as he wasnt `the father figure`so i brought him up on my own for 6 years then i met someone else who i had 2 more children with he loves my son they get on well, but my son is 10 now and started asking questions like` whos my real father` ive said john but he looks baffled as if hes put 2 and 2 together cos he hasnt been with us 4 10 years, i just dont know what to say for the best, does he deserve the truth but i dont want him to have any relationship with his real father after all this time, help
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I support the other people who have said that he needs to know who his real father is, but I wanted to add a reason.
It may come to pass that your son needs to know the medical histories of both his biological parents. He at least needs to have the full name of the man so he can do that research. The lives of grandchildren or great-grandchildren may some day depend on this.
Also, you can make the distinction between biological father and "real" father. John is his "real" father because he's the one who loves and takes care of him. The man who is his biological father contributed genetics, but is not his "real" father because there is no relationship between them.
No matter how you decide to tell him, I advise telling him soon. Teenage years are hard enough - let him get used to this before they hit.
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Well, ur son probably deserves to know at least a little about the father. You dont have to introduce them, but give your son some backround, that way he will know a little bit about his real father.
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I think the longer you wait, the harder it will be on your son. He won't be able to trust you if you continue to lie. He deserves to know about his father because he is a part of him. Just talk about his father, there is no need to make him a part of his life. Your son can make that decision when he is older.
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Unfortunately, that's not for you to decide. You may be able to curtail his actions and curiosity for a while, but eventually, he will be in the position to search on his own. One thing you may not have taken into consideration is the fact that YOUR feelings about HIS relationship with his father could leave him resenting YOU. I think it's only fair that he knows about his real father. I tell anyone that when the child is old enough, then it's his/her RIGHT to know. Usually, I'm asked, " When is he/she old enough". To that ( and to you, I respond )...When they start to ask.
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i think you should tell him the truth ,you cant hide it for ever,he has the right to know put yourself in his shoes ,how would you feel ,later on in life finding out somthink like that.my husband didnt know who his dad was till he was 21 and it screwed him up big time that his mum kept somthink like that from him,so please sit down with him and talk to him ,good luck
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i think you should tell your son the truth after all it is his choice if he wants to see his father i grew up with out my father, my mum thought the same but now i know him and his is great so tell your son the truth let him meet him and see what he wants to do.
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First off, he has a right to know who his real father is. So tell him the truth. It won't be long before it isn't your decision to make for him. Also tell him why you didn't want him to have any contact with his birth father.
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