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okay. one of my best guy firends...yeah...i think im falling for him. ive been thinking about this for the past 3 months. we're really close and i really love spending time with him. my school's semi formal is coming up and id really REALLY like to ask him.
but i have some issues.
a) i dont want to ruin a quality friendship by throwing "love" into the mix
b) I dont know how to "ask" guys out. im just not really "into" the whole guy thing...WHTA THE HELL DO I DO????
c) how do i even know if he likes me? what are some hints that he would drop? because my friends are pretty sure that he feels the same way about me as i do about him. but im just not sure!!
HELP!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First, make sure you're ready to ask him. Then simply do it. Not only will it surprise him, but if he doesn't seem interested you can always say you were just kidding with him. If he's smart he'll say yes and if not, his loss right?
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First, thank God (or whatever you believe in) for being a girl. That makes everything easier! Second, facts that you'd like to know:
1. boys like girls.
2. boys are blind, and with this I mean probably he won't notice you want him unless you *tell* him this.
3. boys don't always know how to express themselves. As girls, sometimes they don't even know what they feel.
4. boys like to be invited (actually, everyone likes that). To anything.
5. never, never wait for someone (specially a boy) to do anything if *you* can do that. That saves time and worrying.
So, the best you can do is ask him. If you don't want him to realize everything right there, the best way is to be direct: ask him to go with you. He will never think 'hmmm, and why do you want that?'. If you need any excuse, say 'because we have so much fun together' or something like this. But if you want him to notice you have second intentions, you will have to make it kinda clear. Start touching him if you have the chance: take his hair off his eye, touch his arm to call him, this kind of stuff. Get closer to him when you're chatting (you can speak lower, so he has to come closer to hear you. but don't do this obviously). And the most important: show you're happy to be with him. Don't be afraid to show you are happy when he arrives, by smiling and even saying that. When you ask him, you can be shy and say, there's something I'd like to tell you but I'm shy. He will want to know, and that will double the effect of the asking. But please, don't make him bag for what you're gonna say: it's ok to take a few moments of indecision before, but not hours.
The last thing I wanna say is: there's nothing to lose. If the worst happens, and he says no, it's not like your life is over. It's just a no. And it can happen for a zillion reasons, like he had already been asked, or he won't go to the party. But don't let it stop you from doing what you want.
(and please, if you invite him, come back and tell me how things went :)
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Friendships can survive all the love-related weirdness, it just takes a little time and the right kind of friendship.
Don't "ask him out", just ask him if he'd like to go with you to the semi-formal.
Look directly into his eyes and see what happens. It may give you some idea of how he feels.
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Well, I don't think you necessarily ruin a friendship by asking him to a formal. I think it's obvious that you like spending time with him, and he, you. That alone makes it understandable that you would want him to accompany you and I think he'll see that.
As for asking him out. Just "casually" ask him how he feels about formals. Once he answers, he'll be all but oblligated to ask you why. That's your time. If you're not ready for him to know how you feel about him, give him the impression that it's only logical that he accompanys you. Something along the lines of," Well, ours is coming up and I'd really rather not go with someone that I might not enjoy. I want to go with someone that I KNOW I'll enjoy myself with. And , if you enjoy them, I was going to ask if you'd like to go with me". That way, you don't have to feel as if you're "asking" and it doesn't give much of an indication that it's a "date". See how the night goes and then maybe, you'll find the opportunity to let him know how you feel comfortably. Hell, he may even let you know. Your friends are probably right. They are on the outside looking in. I think they would be in a position to see some things you may be too close to see. Listen to them. If they think he feels the same...chances are he does. So, go......enjoy yourselves.....AND SEND ME PHOTOS :)
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1. sometimes by adding love to the mix things change and they change for the best, if you break up of course you will have fought be then you will have a better understanding about who they are, it truly is one of the best relationships you might have.
2. If he is your bestfriend then you should have no trouble asking him to the dance, think of it as asking him to do something at your house but to a dance.
3. If he is your friend he probably won't say no unless he already has a date so I wouldn't worry about that. And think of it this way he probably doesn't know you like him so its kinda like a two way street, most best friends that like each other have no clue their friend likes them ( trust me.
Cspinoza1
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a) You're right, falling for one of your best friends is pretty much asking for a ruined friendship if you break up. On the other hand, after you graduate from high school or jr. high, it depends on which you're in, you might not stay friends anyway, so...
b) Now, if I've ever heard of the most stereotypical sentence, that is it. Girls can ask guys out just as easily as guys can ask girls out. Just go up to him and say that since neither of you have a date, maybe you could keep each other company, or something. Wait. That was a bit complicated...
c) Watch and see if he is trying not to or to make eye contact. Catch his eye and see if he turns away, blushing. If he does any of those things, chances are, you have a chance!!!
Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!
:)~Colleen~:)
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ONE THING!!! chill out.. it sounds to me that u and him have been friends for a while.. if so there is a chance that he feels that same way.. hints of him liking you... always wanting to be around you.. glossy eyes when he looks at your basic flirting... and sticking up for you if u need it ask him to the dance and see where it goes from there
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i had the exact same problem... 3 months of being great friends and then i realized i really really liked him... i didnt know how he felp, but... i told him that i used to like thim like 2 days ago... and he spazed... that isnt a good idea.. n e ways if ur friends and its a dance.. ask him! im sure her will want to go with you if yall are good friends
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Ask him as a friend. Wile talking casually bring up the subject and ask him if he'd like to go as friends you dont want to go alone.
-shay :-)
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My friend did this one thing to ask a girl he likes to homecoming. He left a note in her locker saying "Come to Starbucks after school" and he was waiting for her there with a red rose and a yellow rose. Being the romantic person he was, he gave her this mini-speech about how the yellow rose symbolizes friendship, while the red symbolizes romance. Then he asked her if she'd like to go to homecoming with him as a friend or a girlfriend by picking a rose. She picked the red! Try something cute like that. That way it's a desicion both you make. You're always going to have the risk of losing a friend through a stronger relationship, but if you feel that's a risk you're willing to take, I'd say, "Go for it, sista!"
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