Hey im Greg. Im 17 years old and work as a Martial Arts Instructor. I have been studying Martial arts physical and mental philosophy and practice for 13 years. I have had my fair share of experiences with life. I have always been and am a straight edge kid. I am opposed to sex, drugs, smoking, drinking, and being mean for no good reason. I love to give advice and help people as much as I can. If anyone needs advice then send me a message because i will always love to help. Have a good day :)
E-mail: AskShinobi@Gmail.com
Gender: Male
Location: Florida
Occupation: Martial Arts Instructor and Master
Age: 17
AIM: AskShinobi
Member Since: January 9, 2009
Answers: 20
Last Update: June 2, 2009
Visitors: 2702
Main Categories:
Mental health
Friendship
Love Life
View All
|
| |
To Shinobi:
15(almost 16)/male
So I'm in a new realtionship with this really amazing girl, and I'm her first boyfriend. Are you familiar with the bases? I was wandering how soon is too soon to "pass bases". How long should I wait for first? Second? Third? I don't believe in "hitting a homerun" until marrage so the last ones covered.
She's a really great girl and I just don't want to ruin things by moving too fast.
Hoping you can help a fella out,
Matt (link)
|
Sorry. I have been ofline for a while with school ending. I hope im still in time to answer your question.
Im familiar with the "bases" theory. I do believe though that there is no set time frame. First and second base should come as a "natural" feeling. Its natural progression of a relationship. It usually takes a few weeks for second. first base should be pretty immediate.
Third base is a different story. Third base should be a little bit down the road. It's something you should talk about first or if things start feeling like "u wanna run to third" you should ask if its ok with her. It may be weird but it shows that your a good guy with good intentions.
You always want to respect a womans bounderies. That is a vital key to a sucessful relationship. You want to be in it for the RELATIONSHIP not the physical aspect of it and you want her to know that.
And I support your "not hitting a home run". I feel the same and its a noble thing to do.
I hope that this helps. Message me if u need anything or have any questions.
U can message me at AskShinobi@gmail.com or Askshinobi is also my IM screen name. Hope it helps. :)
|
dear shinobi:
so ive had alot of bad relationships lately and so I'm starting to not believe that realy true love is not actually real. basicly i just want to know if you believe in realy true love? examples? do you think that everyone has "the one" for them out there somewhere? and have you met yurz?
thanks- tiff ( o btw im 17 and a gurl) (link)
|
Quite honestly, yes to the everyone has someone and true love is real, and im not sure to if I have found mine. I could be friends with them and not know that its them, but everyone has someone.
I believe in true love. Everyone can and should experience it. But im like you with the string of recent bad relationships.You gotta know that your gonna run into some bad relationships and some bad people but you cant let that stop you from wanting what you deserve. A good boyfriend that loves you. You gotta know that you have to go through some tough times in relationships to find the one thats for you.
Keep waiting for love and know that you will know when its real. It will come if your faithful and waiting for it.
Im here for support whenever you need it.
Im available 24/7. My AIM screen name is AskShinobi and my e mail is AskShinobi@gmial.com contact me if you have any questions
|
15/f
So I was wandering, how do you know when your in love? And how can you tell the difference between real, genuine love and just strong friendship, and do strong friendships usualy result in relationships? I would really appreciate it if you could answer this. Thank you :)
-Annie (link)
|
I remember finding this out the hard way.... I think I can help before you do too.
I always wanted relationships. To be in love and happy. That was my problem. I became good friends with certain girls and it felt natural to be in a relationship after such strong friendships. So yes, usualy strong friendships result in relationships (though they always shouldn't). But that was the problem.
This is how you can tell when its real or not.
1) if you cant bring yourself to say something negative about the person
2) if your upset then you think about that person to make you feel better
3) If you are willing to think through the risk of losing that person as a friend but gaining a love and still take the risk even though you know its high.
4) if you dont cant think about being with anyone else.
Those questions are what I had to start asking myself so I wasn't entering a relationship just to be in a relationsip.
Let me know how you liked it. You can E-mail me at AskShinobi@gmail.com or send me a message on here.
Good Luck!
- Greg (Shinobi)
|
|
Hi, this is my first time doing this but I am in middle school and I really like this boy but I want him to notice my and maybe ask me out or somthing, could you give me tips maybe??Oh I'm 11 by the way. (link)
|
Yah. Im not too old to remember middle school. (Im only 16).
I remember I had the same situation but I liked this girl. She was smart, cute, funny, and had a great personality. What you need to do is to establish a common ground. By that I mean find out something you both like, ask around or ask him. Look for simmilarities.
Once you have found something you both like then you need to expand on that. Talk to him about it and then start drifting to other subjects. If he wants to start hanging out with him. (The mall is always a good place to get started hanging out because its got such a social environment)
Get a friendship going. After you and him are friends you lay the bait. You ask about if he's been thinking about relationships to see if he wants a girlfriend. If he does then you start trying to act and show that you want to be with him. From there its all you. Talk to him about you liking him or if he feels comfortable with you. then its relationship time.
Hope that helps :) Let me know what happens or if you need any more advice you can E-mail me at AskShinobi@gmail.com or send me a message here.
Best of luck!
- Greg (Shinobi)
|
|
I can't seem to be able to let anyone in. As soon as anyone gets close to knowing me, or in anyway just close to me, I push them away. How do I stop shutting people out. I don't talk the person I consider my bestfriend really. I'm a listener not a talker. Theres no use in complaining about my problems, it doesnt do anything. I just want to be able to get close to someone, anyone. How do I do this? (link)
|
I had trouble letting people in and feeling not accepted and that people didn't understand me. What my problem was, was that I was afraid of being betrayed or not being accepted. I looked at my options.
You have to ask yourself what you want. You can live forever with relationships with people and know your going to take the occasional hit or backstab. But you would live life with love and relationships.... Or you could live your life caged up and push everyone away and be alone.... Thats what I did for a while anyways and I hated it.
You need to let people in knowing that love/relationships= 1) possible pain 2)a life worth living.
Hope this helps :)
|
So i am going through a point in my life where I'm starting to see and do things in new and completely different ways. I feel like an adult. I am making my own choices and decisions, and I am becoming independent. I am 17 years old. Although I know this is normal, and this is how people grow up, i feel as though I am truly alone, and responsible for my own future and my happiness. My parents are too old it seems, to understand or even try to. They are pretty much doing their own thing. My friends are always there to help me though of course, but sometimes i feel as though I need to get a strangers view on things. That's the whole point of this question i guess. I am feeling more alone everyday even though I am surrounded by people that love and care for me. my boyfriend doesn't get it, but i know he cares. same with my friends... I guess i just want an opinion about all this and how normal it is for my age, and if this has happened to any of you before, and how to deal with it or embrace it...
i guess i just feel confused about life's lessons. I've been learning so much lately its hard to make sense of all of it... (link)
|
I have gone through the same thing recently. I had friends, good family, I was i guess what you'd call "popular" (though that is subject to opinion) but I was never happy. What I really wanted was to be understood. If your coming from that situation than this is what I did.
I had a girlfriend at that point and explained to her and a few of my closest friends how I really felt. How I thought that no one understood. You tell them a little more about you and how you feel every day. You open up to them and see what they say. Just to know that someone knows who you are is relieving. That way people can understand you for you, and be there for you the way you need people to be.
Hope this helps. :)
|
|
Is it wrong to want someone to sleep next to you, cuddle with you, laugh, hug, kiss, and play with you, when you don't want to date anyone? (link)
| |
No. Its not wrong as long as your not leading anyone on thats its something more. Everyone wants companionship. Its only natural to want that. As long as someone knows you just wanna be like that and not "date" and that you all can see other people then its fine. If someone thinks its something more though and finds out the hard way then it could be damaging to your rep.
|
sorry, this will most likely be long, but i'd seriously appreciate it if you took some time out to help me ... 16/f
1. I love/loved my ex boyfriend. i think he was my first love, we had been best friends for 5 years until we finally became a couple, for a short period of time. 1/2 my fault. 1/2 his. he broke up with me over text, on aim, and facebook message ... yeah. kinda assholey. my parents were kinda friends with his parents .. which was a little awkward. he was my first kiss, altho ive never hooked up with anyone. it's been almost 4 months since we broke up, he told 2 of my friends that we are just friends and that it's how its gonna be.. or something along those lines, but the "just friends" part was very clear. we haven't talked for 4 months because the only way i agreed to be in a relationship with him was if he promised me we would still be very close friends and nothing would be awkward, we'd still hang out etc ... he SWORE to me that it'd be like that. we made plans to hang out over spring break and everything .... but then we broke up because i was ignoring him because a girl from his camp was telling him she wanted to hook up with him and everything and he didn't say anything like ... nah. and he wouldn't like show me his texts and im pretty sure she influenced him t break up with me. so probably because i was ignoring him in person, he broke up with me. but i may never know. but anyways. that ended everything.
until, on facebook my friend from another state got a facbook [she knew my ex, they talked a few times] and she asked me to suggest friends for her. he was one of them. i didnt know it would show up on his facebook saying that i suggested him as a friend. and then my friend facebook chatted him and was like, hey. and he was liek hey, and then started to say OUT OF NOWHERE ... "believe it or not [my name] suggested you as a friend and we havent talked in a while...blah blah" he told her not to tell me what he said because it was really mean. but i facebook messaged him and i wrote him a message about what he said was wrong and he never said anything back. i think i still like him. but i know he doesnt like me anymore. what do i do? any advice or thoughts on what i just told you? anything you have to say would help .... thank you again. (link)
|
Well thats quite a post. ;)
I think I may be able to help you out here.
Re-establishing your friendship is key to any sort of progress between you all and individually. Getting into a relationship with a close friend is seemingly risky but there are a few things that you can do to help.
He is probably upset with the situation and wanting that friendship even if he doesn't show it. If you where avoiding him that was most likely taken personally. And on the reverse, him not showing you his texts is kina sketchy behavior. You dont wanna be in a relationship with someone who is keeping secrets. You need to appologize (I know that sucks but you are gonna have to take it into YOUR hands if you want to be friends or possibly something more).
You need to let him know that your sorry and that you really want to be friends again. You need to let him know that your not mad at him and you regrett ignoring him. Make sure he knows that your doing this as a FRIEND and that you want to be FRIENDS.
Dont show any agression or aggrivation towards him. Any sign that your mad will make him go back on the defensive.
You need to talk to him about what he said in a way that doesn't make it seem like your attacking him. You just "want to know what you did to make him say that is all".
Re-establishing the friendship is going to be hard and akward but your going to need to put the effort into the "pre-relationship reset".
When you get that far message me and give me an update on what happened and I would love to help you from there.
Hope it goes well. :)
|
[16/f] hahaa i just want to apologize in advance for the length of this message... :)
ok, so theres this guy. and our families are friends but its not like we hang out or anything. and my brother is friends with this guy ... we'll call the guy ... jake. and my name will be ... cali.
well, jake asked me out on text at 2 in the morning randomly, when i was at my friend's house. it creeped me out because we didn't even talk that day, and he said it so wierdly and he sent me like 5 messages in a row, without me answering ... he was like, "can we talk?" ... "about us" ... "i have to ask you a question." ... "cali, i can't wait any longer, will you go out with me?" ... "i guess not."
I didn't answer him, because i was really creeped out by this. so like ... we didn't talk for liek a week. but then we started IMing eachther again, and he didn't bring it up. and i didnt either. [we're in one of the same classes by the way] and then he told me he liked me, and i told him i liked him...but we werent together. after that we kinda stopped talking and we dont sit by eachther in class and im by one of my best guy friends so we always chill with eachother and my guy friend walks me to my next class and stuff. so then comes xmas break, which was 13 days this year, and we didn't talk baically the entire time. and when he talks to me, im always the one starting conversations, and he is always using like or 2 word answers. its annoying. but the entire break he didn't talk to me, except for one day, and he IMed me and said ... "hey, im bored." i was pissed. liek wtf. he doesnt talk to me for 12 days and then uses me for entertainment when hes bored? so i told him, "jake, i dont know if you've realized but im pretty mad at you right now." and he was like why but then before i could answer he was like, "i dont want to know." and then said, "im gonna go before i say something stupid." and he signed off. liek he was running away from the problem. WTF. so then we didnt talk and then new years came around and i texted everyone on my phone, saying, "happy 2009" and he replied with, "i thought you disliked me." and i said, "you assume too much." and he never replied. it's been like 2 weeks since then and we don't talk. so i asked his friend is he hates me or something, and he apparently asked jake, and jake said no.
............ wtf. WTF.
any advice on this, or feedback, or what i should because idk if he's worth it, or why i still think about him. im just confused. thank you soo much!!!! (link)
|
Dont worry about the length. Im always glad to help a friend who needs help :)
It sounds like a situation I was in last year.... Not fun and I made the wrong choices. I hope I can help you out with my mistake.
You need to ask yourself whether he is worth it or not. You need to know why you like him. Is it because of his personality, his looks, his smile. Whatever it is reflect on it.
Next, you need confrontation. You need to face the problem head on. You like him? You want to know if he likes you or if you all are going to be together? If yes then you need to let him know how you feel and if he feels the same way. If he really wants to be with you he will tell you and he should do something about it. If he's not doing anything then you need to ask the question "why?". That question can make or break.
You also don't want to be with someone who only wants you to chase them. That is a sign of someone insecure.
Let me in on why he's probably saying all these 2 word answers and avoiding talk. Men are........ easily discouraged. We tend to try to avoid situations that can be uncomfortable. You need to let him know personally that your not mad at him because he is being defensive. If he thinks that your mad at him he's going to avoid talking because it could bring confrontation. Let him know your not mad at him.
Next, make sure that he sees that your putting forth the effort of starting to talk again. That way he knows that you care.
Please, dont make the mistake I made by not doing anything about it. Tackle it head on.
|
i am 5'3
and i weigh 130lbs
i really have a goal to lose weight by this summer
i would like to lose around 20lbs at least,
in order to do this, i plan on eating in more moderation, so less and healthy, and also to run about everynight for a few miles,
so my question is,
does anyone have any tips on making this easier, or any tips in general,
is there any way to make the whole eating better and less easier so you don't get cravings as much?
just any advice would help :]
thanks. (link)
|
Sucessful diet plan:
-eat less each meal and eat snacks more frequently to keep your metabolism up.
-Eat Breakfast.
-Dont run too much. Run like a mile or two each night and take one night a week to rest.
-Stay away from soda (i know its hard. But I had to too).
-Fried foods are a no. (sometimes is ok but not all the time)
-pick one night where you reward yourself by getting an icecream and dont have some the rest of the week.
-Try joining a gym or take a pilatees or kickboxing class. (I teach martial arts and kickboxing and it has an amazing weight loss rate).
-Dont stress. Stress makes you put on weight. Try to stay calm about it.
-Dont eat if you get mad or sad. Work out or run it off. It feels better because working out releases endorphins and its benefitial to your health.
Good luck. Let me know how it goes.
|
"Yes. Anyone can fall in love at any age. Im 16 years old and most deffinately in love and in an amazing relationship (officially engaged) with a girl who lives 2 hours away from me. Long distance can work. (if you're wondering why im engaged at 16 im going to college next year lol.) "
i was lookin @ this question and just wondering what your girlfriend was like. i know that sounds kinda wierd..but theres this guy i really like and i can tell he really loves his girl,,but he wont admit it. i was just wondering what i should say to get it out of him.. :)
btw, you mean like "married" engaged??????
did you propose?????????? :)
(link)
|
She is cool. She is different. Shes mature, kind and fun to be around. She is respectful of the fact that im not really into the whole sex thing. Thats hard to find. Being understanding is a quality. One thing you really should do is NEVER take any crap. Don't be insecure. Have confidence in yourself because you dont want a guy who is looking for insecurity.
You should confront him. Make sure that your not comming on too strong. Make sure he doesn't flake out and beat around the bush. Ask him if he likes her because you dont want to be led on. If he is flirting with you while he has a girlfriend then that tells you something about the kind of guy he is. And remember Be strong.
And yes, i proposed. :)
I love her very much and trust her completely.
If you need anything add me as a friend. Im good in most situations to come to for advice.
If you need to talk plz dont give this number away
(1-813)477-9403
I love talking on the phone. Its easier to talk somtimes.
|
|
Quick question for anyone that plays softball or baseball, does the shoes you wear ever get stuck to the ground, kind of. like when you walk through grass after it rained will your shoes kind of get stuck or rip out the grass or dirt? (link)
| |
Kleats? If so (and there plastic and a dry ground) then you shouldn't have a problem with grass unless your doing the hulk-stomp-run thing. If metal then your a little more likely to mess up the turf. After it rains you should stay off the dirt or grass for a while cuz the ground is wet so your kleats will sink. When you lift them you will take some ground with you.
|
You know Gaara? From the sand village???
Yeah well... What does the symbol on his head mean?
Just Wondering?
(link)
| |
Gaara is my favorite character. His symbol on his head is the japanese character for love. Which he has on his head because it symbolizes the only emotion he does not have.
|
All I would like to know is, what is your opinion on finding love online? It could be an actual dating site or just random falling in love, didnt see it coming. Do you believe it can be true love if you have never even met or talked to the person besides online? Or do you think that there is no possible way?
One more question...
Do you believe you can fall in love at any age?
Thanks!! (link)
|
Yes and No all at the same time lol.
My best friend in the world found a girl online and talked forever. They were set up and fell in love via e-mail/myspace. They actually met and couldn't stand eachother.
On the flip side my other friend ended up texting and myspacing this girl and they were arguing all the time. Then they met in person and are currently going on their 2nd happy year.
The point is that when you write is only half the equation. You must meet the person and physicaly talk. That is always different. It can be love but you need to make sure. (Just make sure you meet in a very public place just to be safe)
Yes. Anyone can fall in love at any age. Im 16 years old and most deffinately in love and in an amazing relationship (officially engaged) with a girl who lives 2 hours away from me. Long distance can work. (if you're wondering why im engaged at 16 im going to college next year lol.)
|
|
I'm going on a school skiiing trip the 24th, i've never gone skiing in my life..what in the world do i ski in? and what should i wear? (link)
|
Dont do what i did your first trip. When I started going a lot with my amazing girlfriend i got a list of stuff from the mountain slope place.
-Warm LONG Undergarments (ok i didnt wear these and it wasn't fun.) (they kinda look like a wierd jumpsuit)
-Buy cheap skii goggles (they sell them at major sports stores ex. sports authorite ect.)
-A THICK long sleve shirt that is a snug fit.
-Thick Jeanes or THICK sports pants.
-A puffy heat retaining winter coat. (not a knitted one but one thats made for winter sports.
-Gloves
-Thick wool socks
-Sport Boots
-Some of those heaters that warm when you open the packet. and put in your gloves and shoes. Those keep ya nice and toasty warm :)
-a winter skii cap. (just one that covers your head not the robber ones. lol.)
-scarf
You can find all this stuff at sports authority and other major sports stores
|
14/f
Ok so me and this guy have been going out since December. I'm like completely clueless here. I know valentines day is like a month away but do girls get the guy something for valentines day or is it usually just guys? I know it was kinda a dumb question but thanks anyways! (link)
|
I was always the helpless romantic. (ima dude). But i've been through my fair share of valentines day present giving. The guy usually doesn't expect something (at least they shouldn't). But if you wanna suprise him..... as a guy, some things that would be cool and give you ideas.
-A CD of a band he likes. (ask him which ones he doesnt have and would buy. But, dont make it obvious your gonna get him it)
-If they are a reader, a book is good.
-A Game Stop Edge Card and magazine subscription is a sweet gift. It only costs like $15 and will last him a year and save him tons of $$$$ on games.
-Something you all can do together like movie tickets or something like that.
I think the edge card and mag. Subscription would be cool. Just make sure you have his info for the form so you dont end up with his present. :)
|
17/f
So many people say I look 12 to 14 years old. I'd really like to look more my age but I don't want to over do it.
(I'm sorry, I have no photos.)
I have chin-length brown hair and bangs. My eyes are dark brown. And my measurements are 36-27-34. Bra size is 36D.
I'm not quite sure what kind of shirts I should be looking for. I haven't bought anything in a while. I mostly have tank tops that I don't wear outside. They show a bit too much. I often wear t-shirts (fitting or large) when I go out. If you can suggest anything, links please.
Also, I don't really know all that much about make up. If I wear any at all, it's a little bit of eyeliner.
I've tried so many brands, but it always smudges. How can I prevent that?
And do I go for natural colors for eyeshadow? What about blush?
(link)
|
Ok. Im a 16 year old guy but im in the current style and work at american eagle. Im not gay but what your about to hear may be shocking from a dude.
-Try good mineral makeup. MAC is a great company.
-Try shopping at stuff like american eagle, aropostle and hollister (avoid abercrombi). Look for things that are earthy colors. Or anything that is not extremely colorfull. Like bright pinks and blues are a no. Anything bright that says look at me screams young.
-Not too much jewelry. To many arm bands and all that makes you look younger.
-Jeans that fit. Not those skin tight wierd jeans. wear decent fitting jeans.
|
What can seriously happen if you get caught using a fake ID (with all your real information...not like identity theft)?? (I'm 18/f)
Thanks! (link)
| |
My mom's a lawyer. You should never use a fake ID. You could get in some kinda big trouble for using that (including a lovely date with the court system). If you get caught theres a good chance that it will go on your record so if you get pulled over for anything or checked by a cop it will say that you have been caught using a fake ID
|
|
I know, lame, right? I'm not a total myspace freak or anything, you know, the type who's always on and has to have a million comments on the same kissy-face picture everyone has? But I do want a nice picture or two for my myspace, since I've already got plenty of me with my family and stuff. Basically, a, well, "MySpace Picture". Nothing exaggerated, nothing slutty, definitely nothing desperate, but something nice. Any suggestions for simple poses, settings, effects, stuff like that? f/16 (link)
|
Im a 16 year old amature photographer:
-You should find a set of stairs leading up to a building and sit on them. Have a friend take a pic of you smiling, facing the camera.
-Get somewhere near the water and take a pic smiling with the water in the background.
- sitting on a dock is always good
- My personal favorite to shoot is have someone lay belly down in the grass and their head on their hands in the elbows on the table head held by your hands thing you do when your bored smiling at the camera and have someone shoot it at the ground level.
|
|
okay, so I am a 17 year old girl and a virgin. I've been in two relationships, only one of which I made out with the guy. Whenever we talked about sex he said that the fact that I was a virgin attracted him. I don't understand why he would say that. Do guys really think being with a virgin is attractive, it seems to me like it would be worse because, well... we have no experience. (link)
| |
Im a 16 year old dude virgin and proud of it. Yes, that is more attractive because guys (especially me) dont want to be with a girl who likes to fling herself around all the time. It also puts doubts in your relationship if your not a virgin. I know its harsh but true. You dont know if that person is gonna be honest with you because there into sex and your not. Keep strong and dont give in if its not what you wanna do.
|
|