neka's advice column

askneka

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: 16/m
I'm so sick of being alive. Everything is so hard. I can't stand it. It's like I'm doing something wrong. I have few friends, but it doesn't matter because I don't like them. I don't like any one. People don't meet my standards and they never will. And when it comes to girls I have no idea what I'm doing. It's like there's some secret technique that every one but me seems to understand. My problems with girls contribute the most to my loneliness and depression. I'm unmotivated in school, because I care more about trying to find a place I belong, trying to find some one who understands me. I can hardly sleep because I'm always worrying about all this. I'm scared I'll never have friends. I'm scared I'll never have a good job. I'm scared I'll never have my first kiss or have sex, and if I do it will be with some one I don't want to do it with. Somewhere between now and the next few years I 100% sure I'll be dead. I can't take it anymore. I've been to therapy and they even locked me up like a criminal in a mental health ward, but to no avail. I hate life. I hate myself. I hate every one, especially if they're happy. I don't see things ever getting better. Please help me. And don't post anything about God, Jesus, or religion of any kind, it will be an automatic 1 on your rating.

wow i dont know if my advice will help you that much but im going to try! first thing is dont hurt yourself because your having problems that not the way to go! i know its hard and like you said you feel like you dont fit in but i felt like that once and i got over it! about your friend you first need to see why they dont meet you standards and find someone who will like if their not preppy enough then find someone who is you know! and about the girl thing its not just you trust me you may see it like that but alot of these boys go around saying that got girls and dont. im not going to lie to you it is hard for some people to talk to the opposite sex but thats just because they believe in their minds that they cant do it so i shines through to the othet person! just atleast try to find one friend that you like and trust wheather its you cousin, uncle or anything and talk to them! give other people a try they seem weird and different and not like you but thats the good part they can teach you and help you with things they went through before you even go through it trust me i know because i have friend i think are weird and friends i think are snobs but i gave them a chance to be good to me and some of them did! whatever you do PLEASE DONT HURT YOURSELF!!!
GOOD LUCK HUN and if anymore questions feel free to ask!

Q: My boyfriend dumped me about 3 months ago. It was a great relationship that almost lasted a year. He was the only guy I've ever loved and we had so much together. The problem is, I can't let go. I still wake up depressed, cry sometimes, and talk about him constantly. Him & I barely talk but are on good terms. I don't understand why I can't move on? It's like I have this undying hope he'll come running back to me! Time is not helping and I just want to be happy again. (18/F)

OMG! this almost like my story so i know exactly how you feel really i do! but u just need to give it time if he loves you still then he'll come back to you. I know its real hard not being with him but right now its not up to how you feel it all about how he feels! U can talk to him and tell him how you feel but dont get to mushy or anything just sit him down and talk with him then just give it time and it will all work out for the better trust me! Its hard but like i said if he loves you to he'll do what best just dont rush it! Their this song called p.s im still not over you by rihanna you should listen to it! it helped me alot!
g00d luck huh!

Q: i am fourteen. i don't love to read, but i am looking for an inspirational book. if you know of any, of friendship, harships, anything like that, i would appreciate it. [[name&author please!] thanks.

ummm well im reading this good book called " the earth, my butt and other big round things" its actually a good book but i cant remember the author but its good!
neka

Q: I'm not into drugs at all, but it's my friend who is freaking out. I don't want a lecture, I would just appreciate a simple answer. How long does it take marijuana to "dissolve" or "exit" from the body? My friend has a drug test soon and smoked weed a few weeks ago. Is there also any ways to speed up this process?

well it depends on how much your friend smoked but it do take a long time my brother smoked and 3 weeks later took a drug test and failed but he smoked alot! there is some kind of pill that flushes out you system but it doesnt work that good some times! sorry but i dont know the name but he can ask like a drug store or something!
good luck!
neka

Q: Okay well this boy liked me for 2 years, and i didn't like him at all, and this year we are like bf. Now i realized i really do like im. So i had my my Best, Best friend ask him if he still liked me and he said now that we are friends he doesn't want to wierd out our friendship by liking me. should i tell him i like him? Do you think he really does likeme still. if i asked him out do you'll think he'll say yes? HELP!!!!!!!!!!

well your friend said that he didnt want to weird the friendship out but he never said he didnt like you! i think you should tell him because he's probably just trying to hide his fellings so your wont stop being his friend!
good luck!
neka

Q: theres a kid that is a grade lower than me in my school. we met at an afterschool club and he is really nice. he is also really cute, but last week he brought a girl to the club, his best friend they arent dating but she hates when he talks to me so she tries to keep him away from me. when i see him in the hallway he does this cute thing where he shakes his head and nods and smiles, it makes me fall hard. what do i do, i really dont want his friend to ruin our friendship that weve built up (ps he just signed online)

well since you like him i think you should tell him and talk to his friend to see wat her problem is then may yu guys can come to an understanding!
good luck!
neka

Q: I'm 16 and a mother of a little baby. I think he may be teething. What do you think is the best way to relieve the pain? Besides like teething rings.

well try putting the teething ring n the freezer for a while and let he gum on it! or you can get a cold wash cloth or use baby oragel! basically just use anything cold like a pop sickle the cold things really helps the pain alot with babies!
Good Luck
Neka

Q: what exactly is a yeast infection and how long could it last if it hasnt been treated?? i think i may have one but i've had this
certain problem "down there" for a long time. so please someone
tell me what it looks like and just what it is, and how long it lasts
if not treated, and how to treat it. THANK YOU!

14/f btw.

go to your doctor as soon as possible! you would normally know when u have one by the symptoms which is itching and burning in the vagina and around the vulva (the skin that surrounds your vagina),a white vaginal discharge that may look like cottage cheese, pain during sexual intercourse or swelling of the vulva! but since you said its been like that for a while it could be caused by some of your colored underwear or even tight jean! but you should go to the doctor!
Good Luck
Neka

Q: I love my boyfriend and I have been going out with him for more than two months, lets just say three months. I made the play and there is this really hot gothic boy that I think Im starting to crush on who is also in the play. He admitted to liking me. We hug all the time and talk real flirty to eachother. The only thing is, I might not see him again after the play is over. Should I break up with my boyfriend to go out with him or stay with my boyfriend who I love more than anything?

Also, is it wrong to like someone else when you have a boyfriend?

no dont break up with your boyfriend for him! have you ever heard the saying \"dont leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love\" you might not pay attention to it but it can happen trust me! its not like a crime to like someone when you have a boyfriend but its best that you dont! i think i may be a good thing that you wont see him after the play that way you can focus on your boyfriend again!
good luck!
neka

Q: I have always had regular periods ever since I first started to get them. I have been off birth control for about 6 or 7 months now and I have missed my last 2 periods. I have taken a few home pregnancy tests and took one at the doctors office too and they all come back negitive. Can i still be pregnant because that would be great. I was told to reschedule an appoitment with my doctor again if i don't get it by the end of the month to get a blood test done. I have been getting really bad headaches, a lot of nausea,lower stomach cramping as if im going to get my period. I have also been extremly tired.

19/f

you know it can go both ways my guess is your pregnant! my sister had that same problem she didnt have he period, she had all the symptoms and everything but when she went to the doctor they said she wasnt but i have a nephew so it was wrong! But there's also a big possiblity that your not because my friend had the symptoms and she went to get a test and i came out positive but when she went back they said it was just her horomones! i hope u find out!!!
Good Luck!
Neka

Q: does anyone know a website to like edit pictures coool. i already know of my theme site. thanks! =]

try paint shop pro i edit all my pics on der n dey cum out cute!

Q: I am 17 years old i have a 2 month old daughter but i am married and have been for a year to the babys father. Well i have just come across a very serious problem. My husband i have been sleeping together but we used protection but i think i might be pregnant again is that possible. I am very scared. I know if i am everyone is going to say i am a slut and im so worried but wwe both have jobs and stuff but i am scared of what a=our families wil say what do i do.

well the best thing to do is take a pregnancy test and dont worry about what other think! i mena how can u be a slut if your sleeping with the same man i mean what do they think you guys are going to do just look at each other? but if you think your pregnant and your cycle just so happens to come on wait til its off and still go get the test because my mom had her cycle til she was 5 months wit me and my sister had her til she was 4 so you never kno!
good luck!
~neka~

Q: I really like a boy in my FCS class he is so cute what should I do but the problem is my friend like him too

you should ask the boy which one he like and you and your friend should talk it out! if she likes him more than you do and he likes her just let it go but it all depends on who likes him more and who he likes!

Q: so my friends gay, & her name is Chelsea. =) but she has a b/f. wtheck?! but she`s not bi. she`s a bia. make sense? not to me. uhhh; whattt does this mean? she keeps asking me if i`ll be her g/f like but she`s got that b/f. is this an undercover thing? she`s told me she`s only gay. not bi. gah.

Is she out? If not she probably dont want anybody to know about her being gay so she uses him as a shield!

Q: do you kno the song concrete angel? ya well that is me! i am sick of getting thrown around please help me!! i need all the help i can possibly get. am i going to die? i hope not! please this is all that i ask you just give me advice i need it so badly!!i mean i have gotting stiches 7 times cause of my mom and dad! please help!

wow you really need to go tell somebody like the cops or something because thats not right at all! What do they say when u go to the hospital to get stiches? If they ask you what happened dont be afraid just tell them because your parents need serious help! call someone secretly and get help!

Q: i feel that im being abused by words.. is that possibal?

and im 13/f and would i be able to call a abuse line? and get my mom taken away from me?

Its possible to be abused by word! i think they call it verbal abuse when someone doesnt hit you but the hurt you with what they say! I dont think the abuse line would work or getting her taken away from you neither! the most they may do is put you guys in theropy or something but i dont think they would do anything to her!

Q: When I first found out I was pregnant, My boyfriend and I automatically started coming up with girl names. As I got further along, everyone just knew that I was having a baby girl. My boyfriend wanted a boy over a girl because he says that they have more attitudes, but he kept saying girl names. Well, when I went for my ultrasound at the end of my 19th week, the lady that did it seemed crazy. First, when she pulled out the leg part on the table that I was suppose to lay on, she pulled it all the way out and it fell. She started laughing like she was nuts. Anyway, she asked us if we wanted to know the gender and we said yea, then she said it was a boy real fast, and that was that. The thing that made me feel like their could be a big chance that she could had made a mistake is that she found out the sex a little too fast but she acted like she couldn't find my baby's head!!!!! Her excuse was that the baby was moving alot. It took her about 10 to 15 minutes just to get a wierd angle picture of it and give it to us. When I showed my doctor my ultrasound picture, she said "why did she even give you this?" So basically, she really had me confused. So do you think I should believe her completly about my baby's gender when she couldn't even find the head?!!!!!

wow thats crazy! i think you should go get another one by another doctor and make sure the doctor is sain!

Q: I have a bf and we've been going out for 3 months, but i've kept this hidden from my parents the entire time, i'm 13 mind u, and my mom wont let me have a bf she says its already enough that i've had my first kiss and she found me downstairs cuddling with a guy, with my head on his lap sleeping, i really dont see why i cant have a bf i think she's over reacting bc i know kids my age do way more than kiss or cuddle is she over reacting???? i'll rate high for any suggestions, or anyway to see my boyfriend w/o getting caught thanks

In a way she may be over reacting but then again she's not! i mean i think the reason she's like that is because their are so many young young girl out here gettin pregnant because they went behind their parents back you know! Yea its ok to sneak because i still sneak to this day and im 15 but just know what you should do with a guy what you shouldnt! he may be a great guy but take it from me all boys have something in common with another so dont let him trick you or lie to you then you'll be ok with the dating thing!

Q: I am currently 8 months pregnant and the last 2 months i have been addicted to sniffing Tipp Ex and marker Pens, could this have caused any harm to my unborn baby?

well t could be but since you said this startd like 2 months ago and not when u was first pregnant i say you just stop doing it for the babies sake and the baby should be ok

Q: Ok i am 15/f and i just found out i am pregnant a few days ago, and my boyfriend (the baby's father) knows. now we have talked about me possibly getting pregnant before and we were fine with it....but now i am and we are keeping the baby because we both want to. but we havent told our parents yet....but we are this weekend. but the thing is we already know hes mom is going to be abssolutely furious, and we were wondering about if he would ever be able to see the baby. because my parent will be fine with it, like they will support me and all, but his mom we dont know, so does anyone know if there is a law that says if he wants to that he has to see the baby? and this is in michigan, and i have not been able to find anything after long hours of researching on the internet...now please if you answer this dont tell me how much of a bad person i am and that i am only 15..i will have enough of that just please answer my question...

as far as i know it the parents of the baby choose who see's the baby only way she can stop him is if they move or something but she cant stop what you guy choose to do!

bio

Im a 15 year old high school student that loves to be around and help people! Im a outgoing, free spirited, funny, always smiling and very fun to be around person(so i was told). I really enjoy making other people feel good and lifting their spirits! I love to talk on the phone and hang out with my friends! Im a very well rounded person i like all different things and people and they seem to like me back! I do have problem of my own just like a normal person but i can always help others with their problems with no trouble most of the time so dont be shock if you see i have my own questions on here and dont be afraid to give me your honest opinion! Im not a very mean person but i do have a attitude problem but trust me people its under control!!!