mcoolio601's advice column

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Q: im so mad.. my parents wont let me go to sleepovers or even have my own sleepovers because they dont want me to get hurt, or get some other kids hurt and get sued or something. it sucks because like everyone else gets to have them and that sort of thing doesnt happen often. i know well.. it DOES happen but I'd rather take that chance and enjoy all the fun. my parents grew up in africa, where they only had sleepovers after traveling far from their homes. so my mom (mostly her) thinks that we cant really have them either with our friends, and we should sleep in our own beds. ugh. the same with going to the beach. alot of my friends get to go with their friends to the beach, new york city, etc but my parents like.. probably wouldnt let me bring a friend along. ughhh this sucks.. what are the odds of us getting hurt? its possible ya, but... well.. ya! its frusterating!!!

Yeah, that's really frusterating and I have a friend who's parents are just like that. You need to have a sit down with your parents and tell them that the longer they try to hold on to you, the more you will pull away. ASk them how they are gonna expect you to go to college and live your own life if you don't start going out with your friends to the beach or having sleepovers while you are young. You know they are just looking out for you, but yeah, you're growing up and you deserve to hang out with your friends and find out what your boundaries are and learn to be independant. So just talk to them and make your point very clear that they don't have to complete let go of you, but just let you have a little freedom.
hope i helped

Q: Well as I said there's this boy and my sister, my best friend, and another girl all say he likes me and i like him. We annoy each other constantly and he doesn't say he hates me but i say i hate him and he well i don't know... what do you think.

Ok, so if you like him and he likes you, start dropping hints. Slowly stop say you "hate" him just so you don't give him any wrong ideas. Sorry its not much, but it's somethin.
{*~EMMii~*}

Q: Ok so here's the deal I was with my boyfriend for the first time yesterday. I really like him and we spent time together we talked and cuddled but nothing else. I really didn't feel confterable when he was hugging me. I know I love him but I don't know what's wrong. I didn't want him too hug me at all yesterday. What's wrong??. Any advice would be useful thanks!

I honestly don't think they're is anything wrong with that. First of all, it's the first time you guys have actually cuddled or even been together. If you love him, the physical things shouldn't be important. I think you should just give it some time, let yourself get comfortable with this new person in your life. If he loves you back, he'll let you take all the time you need. Now, to get all mom-ish: If you don't feel comfortable with him touching you, don't let him.
Hope I helped
♥ your advicey

Q: umm you see i don't know how to orgasm...sounds like you have a lot of experience...yum?
*

get a hottie hannii, so that right when you stare at the guy you're turned on like a light bulb!!! That way, when you guys are banging, it won't be hard for you to have an orgasm because he's a babe....oh and rememba NO GLOVE, NO LOVE CUZ I DONT WANNA BE URE KIDS GODMOTHER YET. :) hope i helped
♥ your advicey and biffle

Q: I have start school again on Wednesday, and all the girls in my grade are starting to wear makeup and jewelry, but I am more or the sporty kind, What should I do

Well if you want to where make up then go ahead or you can hold on to your independence as a sporty type. I mean, no one is forcing you to where makeup. Although, if you really feel out of it, just add a little bit of eyeliner and it will TOTALLY make a difference and excentuate your eyes and people will notice. That way, you can be wearing makeup but you don't have to change into a girly girl just because everyone else is.
Be your own person :)

Q: alright well i have these two friends, Kelly and Jamie. they used to like hate each other last year. now they have all of their classes togehter and are like attached at the hip. Kelly has been my best friend for a long time. i met Jamie last year. well Kelly is the kind of person that when she finds a new buddy..she forgets about all her other friends. well kelly ans jamie have been hanging out alot lately and kelly has forgetten all about me. it doesnt help that we have only 1 class together. i get jealous really easily too. ive tried talking to kelly but she doesnt take me seriously. i say to her, "kelly im serious" and she goes "i know" with a smile on her face. im really starting to get pissed here. i dont know a way i can talk to kelly and make her take me seriously and not get mad at me. me and jamie hang out alot still so it isnt her fault. mostly kelly. i dont want to tell jamie to lay off kelly cuz then shell tell kelly and then kelly will get mad at me and everything will be bad. im really getting very mad and jealous. i dont know how i can get things back to the way they used to be. i liked it better when kelly and jamie hated each other.

please help me i want my friend back!!

Hm, well a way to talk to kelly would be when you guys maybe have a silent moment or when your doing homework or something because if it's after a joke then kelly may not be braced for a serious convo. Let her no that you don't mind that she has new friends but not to forget you because your still her friend too. If kelly still won't be serious say "Ya know what? This friendship won't work if we can't have one serious talk together." I'm pretty sure you will get her attention if you let her know you're not fooling around. Mention that maybe you guys can hang out together so then you're not left out and it will remind kelly of why you guys were best friends.

Q: Well, you see, I have a really messed up mom. She tries to make me and my sister hate my dad. They are divorced. And she is making are lives suck because she wants to make my dad mad. I think she smokes, but she supposedly quit like 2 years ago and shes been smoking behind our backs. And I have no idea what I should do.

You reallyy need to have a sit-down with your mom and talk to her. Tell her that it makes you uncomfortable when she tries to make you try to dislike your dad because even though she doesn't like him, doesn't mean you and your sister have to dislike him too. And the smoking problem is something you really have to talk to her about. I know that it's also really hard to confront your mom, of all people, that she has a problem. Let her know that you still love her but smoking isn't a good influence towards you and your sister and it's, of course, a really bad habit to get into because it's terrible for her body. Also let her know that you are there for her and you are just trying to help.
Hope i helped.

Q: My best friend and me like the same guy but i dont want to tell her that i like him to. She talks about him all the time and it makes me sad becuase i have to keep my feeling inside. He asked her to homecoming so i dont know what to do. If i should tell her how i feel or just go on like nothing happen

I think that even though this guy may like your friend, if you and her are really that close then you should feel comfortable being able to tell her that you are crushing on the same guy. Before you tell her you should say that you are only telling her because your comfortable with your relationship enough to be able to tell her how you really feel. Because the guy already asked her to homecoming, you should let them go and let them enjoy themselves(enjoy yourself too don't get all jealous) because you'd want her to do the same thing for you. Me and my friend always like the same guys but since we are able to talk, it never messes up our friendship if one of us gets the guy.
good luck babe !!

Q: So I have liked this girl pretty much all of my life. I have been talking to her every once in a while trying to build courage and so I finally attempt to call her and tell her how I feel about her. I had to text her first to make sure it was alright to call. She said she was about to eat dinner with the family so she'd tell me when it was alright. She can't talk past a certain time and she texted me after that time and said that she couldn't talk now because it was past the time and wanted me to text what I wanted to say instead.

I'm pretty sure she knows what I'm trying to tell her since someone pretty much told her I liked her. So I said I rather call her instead and asked if i could call tommorrow. She said she didn't know what she'd be doing tommorrow but I could try and then said "sorry". I asked if she could tell me when she was free then and she said "i'll try". Recently she has gotten involved in sort of a long distance relationship.

Should I take this as a polite "I don't want to talk to you?", a "I'm kind of nervous about this" or what?

From a girls perspective it looks like she's not interested but since she's in a relationship she must have been crushing on this guy before while you were trying to talk to her and tell her how you feel. Girls love it when guys flirt so try to be as friendly as you can and don't hold back so she knows more about you and hey, ya never know, she may ditch this long distance boy because as you maybe have heard, long distance relationships don't last too long.
good luck !!!

Q: hey i just started musical theater and i dont know anyone else whos doig it...and im soo terrifyed.i wanted to do musical theater cause its my passion...i love it but im so afraid that no one will like me or somthing..how can i get rid of this fear?

Ok, first of all, musical theatre= good choice. :) second of all, if you truley love it and it's your passion, it doesn't matter what anyone says or thinks about you. If you don't make friends then, oh well, sometimes you, sometimes you don't. But if you are really good at acting that will already win over atleast one friend and if they don't like you, amaze them and they'll be like "wow, she's good" and they really won't have any reason to not like you. Just be nice and friendly so they don't have anything against you.
hope i helped supastar ;)

Q: i am 17 years old, and is a female. i've been best friends with a girl for 6 years. she always been the "diva" in our friendship,and what i mean by that is that she takes all of my self esteem when she tells me that i can never get good grades or be as cute as her .even though she plays around like that it hurts. recently i've borrowed 35 dollars from her because she wanted me to go somewhere with her, she told me that i had to pay her back on june 2. since i didn't have a job and my mom couldn/t afford to give her the money, i couldn't tell her that i was poor because then she would brag about it and make fun of me and even tell my other fiends. so i hesitated to give her the money. i would tell her lies like i forgot or iam babysitting to get it. and when she finally had enough she totally blew up on me over myspace saying that i am acting funny and i need to give her her money. 2 months later i gave her the 35 dollars.my question is what do i when i approach her at school in sept because i don't know how to handle this situation and what would you say or do?

Best friends, huh? Well personally I don't think she's acting to much like a best friend to you. And being the "diva" of the friendship does NOT give her a right to be a bitch (pardon the language.) If this girl truly was your BFF you wouldn't have to worry about her spreading you secrets, but honestly, i would be worried if i were you too. Also, teasing you isn't the most friendliest thing and people can only take jokes so far 'til they start to get personal and hurt. So apparently your not the richest person in the world? I have the same problem, and my BFF is LOADED with money. But I know that I'm not afraid to say that I can't afford everything she can. But if you are afraid to say that, then maybe this girl isn't as best of a freind as you think. But if you trust in her have a serious sit down and be totally straight forward, you don't want her to misinterpret anything. What you say is your decision.
You've got a voice, use it

Q: hi,14/mif it helps. well yesterday my friend accidently told me that she liked this guy that she used to go out with. the thing is, he treated her really bad, as in cheating, and makin her cry. and after that i never really liked him much, until a lesson we were made to work together. and we were kind of talking and then a couple days later(yesterday) she tells me that she likes him again. the thing is, im just so frustrated about the fact that she still likes him after how he treated her. Im really angry at her, even though i know she cant help her feeling. what do i do?

You should definatly talk to your freind and remind her that this guy is no good and shes better then him. Maybe take her out with some of your friends and maybe switch her interest to someone better.

Q: Can you get pregnat if a guy doesnt insert his penis in your anis and you never had sex vaginal sex before but he had his penis like really near your anis and it was really close to going in?

Hmm..well I'm pretty sure you can't get pregnant from having anul sex but if any cum got into your vagina, then you are at the risk of being pregnant. But just for a tip later, use a condom while having anul sex, just to be careful, aight?
k
hope i helped

Q: i like 2 girls both exs both pretty girl only one will date me the other will kinda be friend with benefits and one will date me but if i go out with carie then other other girl dani will be mad at me cause she gets jealus even though she broke up with me and crap but im in a pickle which i should stick withwuts better a girlfriend who likes me and i like or a friend with benefits who i like and likes me but will never date?

Hmm...well I think that Carie (the girlfriend) might be better because obviously she likes you again and more then Dani because if Dani really did like you she wouldn't want to be just a friend(with benefits.) And if Dani gets jealous then that's her problem because remember: she did dump you and her problems aren't yours. Personally I think that a friend with benefits is just someone who can't take a relationship seriously and just wants too fool around. But a girlfriend is committing AND of course they are yours too fool around with as you please. ;)
haha well hope i helped

Q: whats better friend with benefits or girlfrined? cause i can have a girlfriend or friend with benefits and i really liek both and both like me but i donno which i want cause if i choose to stick with friend with benefits then the girl will get mad at me but if i date the girl then the other will get mad at me

hmm...Well friends with benefits are good and so are girlfriends. I mean, friends with benefits don't tie you down but they can also have other freinds with benefits so if you don't have a problem with them doing that then friends with benefits are good. Girlfriends on the other hand, you can commit to and they have no right to cheat on you. So it truly depends which thing you feel most comfortable with. Also, think which one you could see yourself being more happy with.
hope i helped

Q: i don't care about my life, because this isnt where want to be!! does that make sense?
this is the thing, i have like 2 lives..
one over here, and one in london (i go there once every 3 months) and i like my life over there more, even though this is where my life really is.. so when im over there, i make sure i always look hott, always do my best, always have fun and so on.. i try over here, but it kinda doesnt matter anymore, i dont care about my life here, i dont take care of myself, i can look like crap..i can get bacd grades.. i can be unpopular.. because i dont care, it feels like im not supposed to be here.. while when im over there.. i care. i don't know, i feel so unhappy always waiting for when i can go there and LIVE MY LIFE. i for some reason cant live it here, because i dont want to, and i care more about the poepel there i think.. i dont know, please help me

C'monn dont give up. Sure London may be more fun and glamorous but maybe you haven't put in effort to enjoy where you live now. Get dolled up and go to a movie with your friends. Just because you live in U.S. doesn't mean you can't pretend your strutting down the streets of London. Also, try something new. Ok so I used to feel like you did so I decided "Ok..so maybe I should just do something crazy and out there"... ya know what i did? TRAPEZE. And I thought it was awesome and it was something to look forward to! Keep looking hott and enjoy life no matter where you are, and if you don't think your supposed to be here...prove yourself wrong and do something to make a change, you'll feel better about yourself.

Q: if i had sex about 2 weeks ago i wouldn't know if i was pregnant yet right? because ever since then i've had to go to the bathroom a lot and i don't think it's a blatter infection but i like hurt really bad and stuff and i think i have to go to the doctors but i couldn't possibly be pregnant could i? we used a condom

Unfortunatly, condoms aren't 100 percent positive of working. You DEFINATLY have to go to the doctors. Either that or you could try taking a pregnancy test. If it's positive then you should see a doctor and make sure that if you have a baby they can take care of everything and help you and if it isn't positive you still might want to see a doctor and make sure you didn't catch anything like HIV and check your blatter or whatever else is hurting.
Hope I helped

Q: First of all... my friend broke up with her ex a few months ago. He was devastated, and they never got back together. She likes someone else now.
Well, I liked her ex for a little while, but it was just a little crush, and it faded away (I told her I liked him, and then I told her that I didn't like him anymore).
A few days after I told her I didn't like him anymore, she confessed to me that she would be really jealous if he went out with anyone, since she still kinda has feelings for him. But, she likes someone else (who likes her back) and said that she wasn't going to go out with her ex again.
But now.. I like her ex again. He's so perfect. It's more than just a little crush. But she doesn't know that I like him again. I know I should talk to her about it, but how do I do that? What should I do? Thanks!

Oh...this is a interesting problem. Well although your best friend would be jealous if he dated anyone else, she DID dump him and he isn't hers to protect. You should definatly talk to her and just tell her that you understand how she would still be jealous over his future girlfriends, but he isn't hers and she has moved on and he's allowed to also. Also, if she is really your friend she will get over it if you like her ex. Remind her also he is her EX BOYFRIEND!!!! And she should accept that you like him and if she doesn't, explain that your not doing this to piss her off, it's just a feeling that you got and you can't control whether you like someone or not. She should understand since she obviously still has feelings for him too.

Q: At the beginning of summer, I started developing an eating disorder. I didn't know why I wouldn't eat and I didn't understand why it was happening but it scared me and the rest of my family. My mom wanted to take me to the doctor but I kept telling her that I was fine and everything was okay. Not long after, I was volunteering at the hospital and passed out. My mom then decided that she was going to take me to the doc. By the time she took me, things were starting to get better for me and I was eating normal again. The doctor took blood work and told me that the blood work was fine. I've figured out why I haven't been eating. When things get bad for me or something happens that just makes me really upset, I don't eat and it's something I can control. Other things happen to me that I can't control but food is the one thing that only I can control. When I'm happy and life is good, I can eat like a pig. What should I do to stop this?

Well, I am very good in the field of eating disorders because I've though about it and I know people who have gone through your problem. Food can be very conforting when you are feeling crappy or it can cover time. When your bored you tend to go to the food cabinet because there's nothing else to do. It's totally normal but then you feel guilty for eating so much. So then anorexia pops into your mind and into your life.
But the truth is anorexia doesn't solve anything, it just adds one more problem. To stop this you should maybe get involved into mor activities like after school sports or theatre or...anything. That way you won't be dedicating your free time to food because there will be less free time. Also, if you feel hungry make a salad or have fruit. Stay away from the snack drawer and trust me, your work will follow through.

Q: Kinda has to do about my love life and my job.

Right now im really depressed and stuck with a decision i dont want to make. I just really want to cry and let everything out but then again i dont want my parents asking me whats a matter. Is their anything i can do that will make me feel better?

thank you.

Well, first of all, parents are practically trained for these problems, whether you want them to know your situation or not, lots of times they can help. Although I don't know your specific problem, it's obviously a really bad one. If you really are depressed and feeling upset you could contact a school counsler or ask your parents if you could see a physciatrist daily so you can release stress off yourself during the year (that way you don't have to share your specific problem.) Also, sharing with your friends always helps, maybe they can relate to your problem or have their own advice hiding up their sleeve. Anyway to get your problem off your chest is a big step towards your normal self. Hope I helped!

bio

Hey I'm Emma and I'm 13 years old. I live in Massachusetts. I love acting and modeling and hope to do one or both of those things for a living. I have a best friend, Hannii, who is seriously like a sister to me. I love giving advice because it just makes me feel better that i'm helping other people out.