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Gender:

Female

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MA

Age:

19

Member Since:

June 30, 2008

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15

Last Update:

December 2, 2009

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about

I'm Katie.
I'll try. =]
Likes: Summer, field hockey, lacrosse, sun, thunderstorms, writing, running, boys, dresses, the red sox, the city of Boston, Europe, flip flops, music, first snow, Dustin Pedroia, tattoos, working, laughing, sarcasm, dogs
Dislikes: Math, getting in trouble, crying in front of people, rude/obnoxious people, people who take life too seriously, jet lag, my family for the most part, human nature

My picture is of the gorgeous Boston skyline because I am absolutely in love with the city. (Red sox =])

Have a nice day!

advice

there's so many things in my head right now. my grades are slipping. i'm constantly pressured by my parents to work harder and harder...and well harder. don't tell me to speak with my parents because i did, [countless times] and they just say that i'm not trying hard enough and i'm worthless. yes worthless. i am a worthless and lazy s.o.b to their eyes.
i'm constantly feeling tired. i can hardly keep my eyes awake in school.
i feel sad all the time. all the activities i used to do is nothing to me now.
everything is like a blur.
my health problem is currently worsening and i'm sick and tired of being sick all the time.
i just dont want to talk anymore.
i just want to be left alone.
sometimes i just want to get everything over with.
i've contemplated of being depressed but if my parents found out i'm seeking help...they'll kill me.
i do not know what to do.
friends are deserting me cause i just don't want to talk anymore. i dont want to hang out. i dont want to do anything ...but sit there.

I second mmmsteph. You say your parents will kill you if they find out you're seeking help, but this isn't about them. It's about you and your life, and it sounds like you need to see someone. Maybe a guidance counselor or teen support group? They have groups specifically created for teens who are stressed/unhappy. Find one, join it. Or book an appointment to talk to a doctor.
If you're feeling like everything's going downhill, act on it. You don't deserve to feel this way.
good luck + hang in there =]

I know I really should talk to a doctor about this, but I just havent really come to terms with it myself yet. I have these thoughts during the day about my friends, my family, my animals, anyone really. There just these horrible thoughts and I don't know how to stop them. Anyway just like if someone is walking through water that they spilt on the floor or something I get these images in my head where the person would fall and get hurt really bad or die. Really terrible thoughts that I can't control, they just...happen. It makes me feel crazy really, and that definitely scares me. I've never told anyone about this. For one thing they'd probably think i'm crazy or something, and two they'd think of me differently and I really don't want that. I've been really depressed I guess you could say. I mean I don't know if it's depression or not but after reading the symptoms for it and all it really seems like it. I've also been told I might be bipolar, and i've tried to research that but you can't really do a self diagnosis. Anyway my question here is have any of you ever had this problem? Has anyone you've known had this problem? I know I really need to talk to a doctor but I just feel embarassed and uncomfortable talking about it. I don't know how to just say anything. Not to mention the fact that the doctor would tell my parents and i'm just so scared of them looking at me differently.

Unless you talk about plans to hurt yourself or others, your doctor won't tell your parents. I'm almost positive they're not allowed to. I think you need to take care of yourself- if you are depressed or have thoughts that trouble you, you should seek a doctor so they can help you. It's rough going through life so upset and depressed, and this can be prevented.
I know you think your parents will think differently of you, and maybe they will. But I think they would much rather you get help than be upset, wouldn't you? After all, your parents want what's best for you.
It's really good that you recognize that you should talk to someone about what's going on. This is usually the hardest part. The next step is confronting your parents and telling them you want to talk to someone. It's hard and maybe uncomfortable, but just think of how much happier you could be. Everyone deserves to be happy, and I just think you need a little help getting there.
good luck =]

My friend always gets rrealy mean when she's talking to her boyfriend. Whether it's online, or on the phone, she's just always really mean to me. I've tried thinking of why she might be doing it, but the only reason I could come up with is that she's trying to make herself look better. I'd like to think my friend was different but people can surprise you. My question here is what do I do?

I think you're right- she's probably rude to you to make herself look better. I'm betting she has self-confidence issues and wants to look cool in front of her boyfriend, so she uses you to do so. That's not cool.
She might be doing this unintentionally, but I would ask her about it. It hurts to be used to make someone else look better. I would confront her in a non-challenging, casual way and just ask her if she's ever noticed herself doing this. Don't get mad at her or she'll get defensive. Just tell her how you're feeling and ask her to make a conscious effort to stop doing it.
good luck. =]

To be frank, I'm in love (well high school love) with one of my marching band drum majors. Its a bit ridiculous how much I like him. I just think everything about him is amazing. Problem is, I'm 90% sure he likes someone else. He's a junior and I'm a sophomore and I think he likes a girl in his grade. I'm pretty jealous since she's very pretty, a wonderful singer, extremely talented, and pretty much every positive attribute that I am not. I'm aware that its not possible to force him to like me but is there a way to show him what I'm feeling without being awkward or completely unappealing?

Do little things for him. Laugh at his jokes, write him little notes, tell him you feel happy and at ease around him- but don't try too hard to impress him. I hate to say it and I know you've heard this a million times, but be yourself. Guys want girls that are comfortable around them and not afraid to be who they are.
The other girl might be pretty and talented, but who's to say you're not? Don't sell yourself short; you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. I know that's another overused phrase, but it really is true.
good luck =]

I used to be a happy, carefree girl always with a smile on my face. Now? I constantly worry about what people think of me, I abuse my body by calling myself fat and ugly, I've lost my 'spark' in my personality, and I'm hard to be around because I've become sensitive to small things like harmless jokes that I take too personally.

I over analyze my every thought and statement which usually leaves me saying something awkward. Has this sudden, dark change happened to you before? Or, any idea on how to become a little more carefree and get back to my old happy self?

17, desperate female, lol.

This "dark change" doesn't sound too good, does it? It's tough to go through life like this, and I went through the same thing. For me, events occured to make me act this way; it didn't just occur by itself. Did anything happen to you that made you lose confidence in yourself? Like friend or family issues? Sometimes recognizing the cause of your actions can help you overcome them.
I would also ask yourself if it has anything to do with your mental state. You could be depressed or suffer from anxiety (believe it or not, this is fairly common, so don't feel as though it's abnormal. It can be treated). I'm certainly not saying that you do suffer from these issues, but it's a possibility and you can get help.
As for becoming more carefree, that's kind of how you handle situations. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and think about what's going on before you act about something. Not everyone's judging you or making fun of you, and you have to be conscious of that while you're out with other people. You need to relax and let yourself breathe a bit, life's not that bad.
good luck, i truly hope things start looking up for you. =]

Hello.
I need some advice on my lack of self confidence... That line doesn't sound to great but I don't have another way to phrase it. Anyways to the point.
I have major self-confidence issues. I wear hoodies and jeans all times of the year including summer. Although it only gets to about 30-ish degrees on a hot day it's still hot and puts me at a risk of heat stroke. But I just can't bring myself to wear anything, I'm just to uncomfortable. This has gone on since I was child.
I hate when people compliment me. I feel I stand out and I don't like it. I don't wear bright colors for the same reason. My hair is always down, Again fear of standing out which really doesn't make sense seeing as though everyone wheres their hair up.
I hate being touched as well. I don't hug people, my best friends, my family.
I could go on and on about little things that impact my life in a big way because of the confidence issues.
Not sure if this has anything to do with it but I have this terrible fear of getting raped. I mean I'm sure no one like fantasizes about it, well, who knows. But I have nightmares about it almost every night and it's getting rather irritating and scary.
I really don't know what to do anymore.
Advice? Help? What should I do? Why am I like this?
In advance sorry for the typos it's late and I should be studying. Also, sorry about the length.
Oh, and if it helps I am a female and am fourteen, almost fifteen.

The other columnist is right in that it might be anxiety. It's very possible and maybe you should consider seeking help or someone to talk to about this.

However, part of being a teenager isn't feeling comfortable in your own skin- until you realize who you are as a person. It could be that you're not sure of yourself and you still have some things to figure out. But in the mean time, talk to someone and get some things straight.
=]

I have i bf and we been together for almost 7 months. He loves me more than anything and im questioning myself. we talked about our future and when we are going to get married. One side of me is trying hold on and the other side is giving up. We been arguing a lil more and i feel my self detached. Im afraid I may never regin it again. Every time i detach myself from someone i can never reconnect. Hes my best friend and is always there. we cant spend much time wit each other neither, How should i feel? Whats love, how should love feel. Please help me.

Love is so much different for everyone. Honestly, for me, love is when I find someone that I am just always happy to be around and to talk to. It's when you're really tired at the end of the day but yet the person you're in love with calls and you suddenly feel energized and happy for a little while.
That being said, love also includes fighting and getting upset. But if you're really in love, you WANT to work these fights out, and you will do whatever it takes to do so. When a relationship has run its course, you no longer feel as though a resolution is possible or worth it.
The way you handle fighting and the stress of a relationship is a test to your relationship.
good luck!

I am 15 years old and i was wondering if there were ANY jobs for a 15 year old!!!! I can't find any, and i really want a job. Anything?????

I got my first job when I was 15, and I'm pretty sure you have to have working papers and can't work past a certain hour. I live in Massachusetts, but the rules aren't the same everywhere.

I mostly walked around my town and applied locally and at places a few towns over.
Just a few tips:
When you go somewhere to apply they will most likely ask your social security number and whether you have experience with the public and contacts (such as volunteering, etc) among other things (like when you can work). So I would write down your SS number and the phone numbers and names of the directors of programs you've participated in to be prepared.
Also, if they don't call you, don't take it personally and keep persistence. I got rejected from a lot of places but eventually ended up finding a cute little bakery that was perfect.
Good luck. =]

Same girl I've mentioned in another on my posts.. Anyway, today we got see to hang out for a few for the first time, prior to today we would just chat on the computer.. I was really looking forward to hanging out with her, and I had a great time except now it's all over and I really don't know when I'll get to see her again, and it's killing me.. She goes to public school, I'm homeschooled and I just don't get to see her much needless to say, and her parents are still "iffy" about me and more then likely do not trust me, but I've known her parents for about a year now..

Any idea on what I could do to fix this blah feeling or perhaps try to gain the trust of her parents so we could hang out more? I just would like to see her again and talk to her some more in person.. It's much better then chatting on the computer.. I really do love this girl, she's my first girl I've really liked and there is something about her I adore.. It just sucks when I can't see her..

Thanks in Advance!
Chase

She's a lucky girl to have you, seriously.
On the parent situation, I think they may be scared. After all, it is their daughter and parents can be protective. Unless there's an underlying reason for them not to trust you, there's no reason for them to hold a grudge against you. I would, like the other columnist said, be very polite and cordial and also bring them little gifts.
Also, if that's not working, I would talk to them and explain how you feel. If they know you are sincere and love their daughter, then they might respect you more.
Tell her you want to see her more. Explain to her what you explained here: that you love seeing her and she's the first girl you really liked, etc. I think she'll like that. =]
Good luck.

there's this new guy in my school
and practically every girl likes him
and recently we hung out and i really like him!
it's crazy. but idk if he likes me. he doesn't have a phone and i rarely see him in school. help me!

This might be a little confusing, but I'll try anyway:
Don't fall over him and swoon at his every action like all the girls in your school. He might sense that you're different, which is a good thing. But you also don't want to ignore him either. I would strike up a conversation with him and kind of play coy, but not TOO coy.
I guess what I'm trying to explain is be different from the other girls. Like, try to talk to him like the normal person that he is, and he might notice your differences from the other girls.

okayy so i really like this guy even though i met him a week ago but i know alot about him. he seems layed back and nice. i feel really comfortable talking to him. i shared stuff with him that i usually wouldn't with a guy that i new longer than that. how can i tell if he likes me? can i tell by the way he talks? or what he says? i really dont want to mess this up...

loveboys

Guys are so confusing. To be honest, they are the hardest subject I've ever had to deal with.
That being said, you can never really know what's going on with a guy unless he tells you. (Which sucks, I know). But, usually if a guy likes you he constantly talks to you and asks you questions about yourself that most guys don't. (Like about your family, your life, etc.) Also, the guys I've dealt with usually tend to do whatever I'm doing. Like, if I was going somewhere, he'd follow just to be with me.
Like the other columnist said (which is really good advice), guys tend to touch you casually if they like you, but not necessarily in a sexual way.
Again, it's hard to tell, but if you have a feeling that a guy likes you from the way he acts, then he probably does.
Good luck!

well i like my best guy friend. i dont know what to do tho because he acts like he likes me only as a best friend but i think maybe thats just because of our friendship. like i dont know if he even sees me as a possibility and i just want to be a possibility instead of off limits. our families are extremely close--like his family is my family so it might be weird if we dated especially when we broke up. i dont know what to do because i dont like REALLY like him but hes exactly the type of guy i want to date...and i do like him somewhat. and i reeally want him to like me. how can i flirt subtly but like enough that he gets the hint and what if he only likes me as a friend?? without asking him directly what are some ways i could find out what he thinks of me and if we ever have a possibility. any tips are welcome!!!! :)

Well, you could ask him what kind of girls he likes to date and would he ever date a girl like you. That's not directly asking him if he would date you, but a girl LIKE you.
If you guys started dating, it might be weird given the whole family situation. You need to figure out whether you really like him as a person, or if you just like the type of guy he is.

16 f

so my friend thought itd be a good idea to hook me up with one of her best guy friends. She introduced us and we started talking over AIM and soon on the phone and then finally we met in person . Well everything was going so good for the first 2 weeks that we were talking he'd call me everyday in the morning and just before he'd go to sleep until the third week comes around and he starts acting a little weird...he'd call me less or sometimes not even call me at all.....wed barely see each other because he'd make up excuses not 2. And so I got the courage to ask him why all the changes I even poured my feelings out to him and all he said to me was "I don't know I like you but I don't know" can anyone tell me why any boy would say that? I'm just confused as to what hes not sure about? I just want things to go back to the way they were in the beginning.

There could be a few reasons why he's hesitant. He might have met another girl, he might have just wanted sex from you and nothing else, he just might not be interested. Who knows.
Guys don't like to open up about things. When he responded "I don't know I like you but I don't know", it means he probably has other reasons that he didn't want to tell you. Ask him again, and if he responds the same way, he's not worth fussing over.

Well, to start I'm a guy, 17 years old, and just got out of a year and 2 month long relationship two months ago. Well about a month ago one of my best friends and I decided to hang out at the lake after dark. We were just talking (she had just gotten out of a very similar relationship) and we were just there for each other. Well we went back to her car and were still talking when she started saying she was un comfortable. So I offered to cuddle, and we did. Well on the way home we were holding hands, and asking each other why we hadn't seen/felt this before. Then in my driveway we kissed, and she kissed my neck to just mess w/ me. It felt right in all honesty. Well we texted til 3 in the morning, and resumed the net day. We decided to hang out again same place same time. Well she bought me a bear whom she affectionately named olie. Anyways that night, More talking, huging, and alot of kissing. We were both sexualy charged, but she had to be home so nothing happened there. We texted for a little bit and then she said that she was still in love with her ex. Next day they were together again, and still are to this day. Unfortunately the damage was done, and she grew on me. Well it was her grad party on the 4th of july, and I went knowing that her man would be there. But he wasn't because I was there, and he din't wanna be in the same room as another guy who liked her. The whole time she was giving me looks with wide eyes and i could tell something was running through her head. Well at the end of the night she hugged me tight, and told me she was sorry, and all i could say is that she desered better than a guy who wouldn't show up at her grad party. I was frowning and shaking my head (which she interpreted as me being pissy at her, when it was actualy to her man not being there on her day when i was). So now i'm lost, i don't really know what to do, or say. Thank you in advance

Hello,
It sounds like this girl doesn't know what she wants. She wants her boyfriend back, but she also wants you to be there in case she can't work things out with her boyfriend. That's not fair to you, even if she's doing it unintentionally.
As hard as it seems, I would try to move on. Even though she may not feel like her boyfriend is good enough for her now, tomorrow she might be back in love with him and leave you behind. You don't want to be stuck in a situation like that, it's not worth it.
Good luck.

Well...I have been declared a friend with benefits with my friend Brandon. But, I told him I wanted to be more, but he has a girlfriend. And just this morning, I found out that he was depressed over something that happened with his gf, this big fight her parents had. He told me he was crying...this was a side that I had never seen of Brandon. And then I realized that I am probably nothing more of a friend to him who is in the way of a relationship. But when I found this out, I didn't know if I should be upset or not. Then I got the news of everything okay between the parents and stuff now, I was happy for him...just because he was happy. But what am I going to do? Should I leave him alone from now on? Stop talking to him? I really don't want to be a problem between the relationship. And it would hurt me so if I did. So I would be grateful if someone gave me some advice.
PS: Sorry it was so long.

hello there.
I'm sure you've heard this before buuuut:
Friends with benefits usually doesn't work out so well. You can say that you won't get emotionally attached, but usually you do. It's hard not to, and completely understandable if you do. Also, since this guy has a girlfriend, it's not good to mess around with him. I would back off and merely be his friend and there for him for tough situations like this.
Good luck!
Katie

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