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how come it doesn't make a difference when a guy fingers me or not it doesn't feel good i don't feelanything it's like nothing's there...it doesn't make me horny or anything why is that ? (link)
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May be he just doesnot do it the right way!
Ma be he is a little too young to know this stuff.
Wuth the right person, you will feel all the pleasures that your body can feel.
You also have to feel comfortable with the guy you are with, and be in the "safe" environment to let go, relax and able to enjoy!
If you like this person, ask him to may be read up on this, or just try to do this slowly and gently until you find your spot!
Good luck,
Tanya.
dating advice web site
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okay, i know this question is asked a lot and people always say to shave in the direction the hair grows. well i do. but it doesnt get all the hair. and so when i switch directions i obviosly get the red bumps and it bleeds a little. i want to use a good cream amd i heard that noxzema is really good. any tips would be great because i've never had a successful shave without any bumps or a little blood. (link)
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Well..
First of all , you have to warm u p really well, another word, stay in the heated shower for a while before you shave. This way you let the pores to open up, to avoid the irritation!
Then use only dry raizor, and use the shaving cream for sensitive skin.What I mean is, after you use the raizor, make shure you do not leave it in the shower, just take it out, and make shure it is dry.
it should help!
Good luck,
Tanya
dating advice web site
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I have been married for almost 20 yrs and we have 2 teenagers. I was 21 when we married, at 22 I was a mom(this may sound crazy but I know he got me pregnant on purpose). He is very affectionate to me especial in front of people. My husband is an alcoholic and that has always been the source of our arguments and my anger towards him. Of course the next day he would always apologize and say he loves me more than anything. Around 13yrs ago I believe he had been unfaithful but he adamantly denies it. About 3 yrs. ago I was suspicious of his activity on the internet(always clicking off pages when I walked into the room). I got a program to track this activity and found that he was sending intimate pictures of me to porn sites and exchanging them with others. This for me was the ultimate betrayal,disgust and I was totally embarrassed. At the time I didn't confront him with what I knew, but I did tell him our kids were getting porn pop ups. I destroyed the photos and the program.After that, I promised myself that if he ever screwed up again that I would leave him. 1 1/2 yrs ago we sold our home and he moved out of state to start a new business, I followed with children when they finished school yr. The busin. was not going as expected, I think it was more work than he thought it would be. With me pressuring him to get a job, he went searching only to find mediocre jobs. A family member got him a great paying job back home and off he went. I went to visit him with children and dog for the holidays and had a great time, when I left to drive back (15 hr.drive) I would call every few hrs just to let him know we were ok. After 10pm I didn't call until I got home (4am) called his cell and it was turned off, called my mom told her were got back safely. I asked "how could you turn your phone off knowing your wife and children were driving thru the night" and he just said "sorry I always turn my phone off at night"....Well he screwed up again! So now I'm angry, I was now responsible for selling off everything from the busin.,which I ran some great sales and fortunately brought in a lot of money because even though he was making a lot of money he was also spending it(at bars). I started thinking about how unhappy I was in our marriage. I struggled with the idea of divorce because of the children and the rest of our families. I finally confronted him with everything and the fact that I wasn't happy and I didn't think I loved him anymore. With that, he flew down and begged for forgiveness, promised he would change and do anything I wanted him to do. Our families were shocked at what I said to him, everyone thought we had the perfect marriage. Of course they ran to his side feeling sorry for him, not knowing the whole story( cheating, porn site,mental abuse). During all this, my brother died suddenly from cancer...Because I have been so distraught over losing my brother, losing over $100,000. in a failed busin. and the strain of living apart from my husband for months a a time, I agreed to take him back and try to save our marriage. We took a vow almost 20 yrs. ago and morally feel that I should try. Its been over 4 mons. and I'm very depressed, still very angry with him, feeling like I again gave up on myself for everyone else's sake and out of fear of being on my own financially.
I am I disrespecting myself or being dramatic?
Mz.R. (link)
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Dear Mx.R.
You have a very compelling story, and I think you are not the only one out there struggling to save your marriage!
You are not disrespecting yourself, or being dramatic!
This is life!
The fact that you have spent many years of your life, trying to "fix" the problem, really makes you a survivor. You were obviously trying to do this for your kids and for the marriage sake; and that is may be great, but unfortunately it is not healthy for you and your children.
You need to confront your husband about his problems, alcoholism, porn and infidelity!
If you never really confront him, and just tried to go "gentle" and easy on him, he would not feel the need to make changes in his life.
The person needs to feel strong reasoning to make changes in his life; even if the rest of the world feels the same way, your husband may not see (or doesn’t want to see) the issues he has as a problem.
It is really hard to imagine your life on your own, taking care of yourself and the kids; you need a plan for yourself and the kids, where you can feel more independent to take care of your family!
You are not happy, and it’s probably robes of on your kids as well! When should you be happy?
Life is passing us by, and we do not realize that we spent the best years of our life with never really enjoying it!
If your husband wants to have a "normal" family, and make changes, he needs to show you that he wants it as much as you do!
You've heard of the saying, it takes two to tango, so you can not be doing this all by yourself! The marriage is hard enough as it is!
You have the right to be happy!
Also, I do not want to be bias, so I think if you confront your husband, you also need to find out what makes him happy, and what makes him do the things that he does? Is the drinking and porn a part of some kind of escape he is looking for from some things that may be bothering him?
Communication is the key here!
Good luck!
Thanks,
Tanya
Dating Advice Web Site Coach
dating advice web site
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Dating after divorce (link)
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You are like most of people experience the anxiety of being divorced and single. This is a very hard time to try to get in to any kind of relationship, because you may not be ready just yet. Even if you think, that all you want is a some"companionship" to get by, it will still be hard to be with someone new. You are too vulnerable...
Most of women do not want to be a "stepping stone" for you while you getting over your relationship, and dealing with divorce; there fore you have to be honest with women.
May be you can meet someone who is also just getting a divorce, and may be interested in this kind of "comfort" relationship; and as long as you both are ok with it.
Even if you did find someone who is not going through the same thing you are, and say she would be ok with the whole situation; do you think in a long run, while you date and have intimate relationship with this person, the "nothing to serious" will be ok with you?
Do not set yourself for failure..You will be the one to get hurt again!
Try to find support through your family and friends, and when you are ready to start dating again, you will know!
Sometimes being alone is a good thing. It lets you re-access yourself, and find some peace and sanity.
You are down right now and it's normal, do not feel that if this marriage failed, you are not going to find eternal bliss. May be it was not just meant to be, may be you are not right for each other,[u] [b]may be you both did not want and fight enough for your marriage![/b][/u] Love is not always enough to keep your marriage, but it is an ultimate desire to be together
will make it work.
You also have a child, that means you will be in each others life forever, so you have to try to make the best out of all this mess for the sake of the kid. And if your ex wife understands that to, you guys are going to be fine.
However, going back to dating; you will definitely be more careful this time, and more picky to.....Learning from pain (unfortunately) helps you to realize what you need and want from your future relationship...
You can start by chatting with women from online the dating , see how it feels to get back to the "game" again. Harmless flirt can be very refreshing.
Then, when you are ready to actually meet someone, you will find all the right things to say and do..Do not rush in to anything right away!
Women had have been hurt, broken hearted, divorced to; they are not looking for a "round two"!
Regards,
Tanya.
http://www.allaboutsingles.com
http://dating-advice.allaboutsingles.com
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Online Dating/how do we read people (link)
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We all go on line to find that someone special to be with...However, some people experience the same problem. In my past and most recent research, getting feedback from different women, we run in to issue that some of the male (and female) do not reveal basic information, like looks, weight and height, their nationality and the background. They place pictures of someone else, or the pictures of five to ten years old.
The women advised me that these man want to talk on line, via e-mail but really avoiding to meet. It is obvious that some people are insecure about themselves, but how is it going to help to meet someone. Let's be real and honest with each other; and feel comfortable in our own skin.
Some of us have some extra pounds we want to loose; some of us feel to skinny, or to short.... Some things can be changed, some cant. So, except who you are for what you are, let other people see the real you.
I personally had a situation 3-4 years a go, when I went on the blind date arranged through online dating. Oh boy, what a disaster. The guy had two different pictures changed within two weeks before we met; one pic was a tall blond guy; the other strangely enough was shorthaired brunette (??). He also kept putting away the meeting, and then right before we met he started telling me how he gained some pounds (which is ok, we are humans!); but this whole thing seemed a little fishy to me, so I agreed to meet this guy on a day time for lunch with my friend.
Oh, how wrong I was! the guy shows up, totally different person then on the pics he had posted; severely overweight (I have no problems with overweight people!) and with incredibly annoying attitude. I did not want to be rude, but escaped as soon as possible. Why do you lie? To get the women out of the house, and harass her?
I advised the person, that I am not interested, but he ended up sending me e-mails with profanity, which I reported to the online dating website.
We are not looking for perfection guys! We are looking for normality, honesty, and respect!
My friend had a similar situation, where she met someone who was totally bragging about himself forever, describing himself as a Greek Italian; making up stuff about himself, and telling my friend how he can fall in love with her (all via e-mail and phone).
When she met the guy, he happened to be Indian; totally different looking then the he described (pics). And he ended up coming on to my friend, pushing to go to the hotel (??).
This is not trying to hard, this is plain crazy?
So, the moral of this topic is please guys and girls, be real and honest about yourself; you will find more "acceptance" this way.
And, last but not least, some women do the same things, to get more noticed, and the guys feel mislead and frustrated.
Regards,
Tanya
http://www.allaboutsingles.com
http://dating-advice.allaboutsingles.com
http://chat.allaboutsingles.com
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Dating / first date / do and donts (link)
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What is a good date?
Good date starts with two people agreeing to see each other, somewhere casual for a possible match.
For men:
Please don't be late for your first date, because you know the first impression is usually the last. The casual doesn�¢??t mean sloppy. Some people thing why should I dress up if it is a casual affair. Wrong!
You want to look your best to have a lasting impression on the person you meet. For a guy, it is really nice to have a nice dress shirt (usually dark/black color) over the jeans; and please wear shoes, not the sneakers (you are not going for a jug!); clean hair, shaved and nice cologne....
When you get there before her, make sure you have nice and more or less quite place to seat and talk, so you could ask the host to reserve the table.
When she gets there, make sure you get up and give her appropriate greeting, may be a handshake first (everyone is different, not everyone wants to hug on the first date). Ask her if she found a place ok, and what she would like to drink (if she drinks) to break the ice.
When you have you initial conversation, remember, women like to be listen to, so give her a chance to talk and show how good of listener you are.
You can make a lot of observations by listening to the person, as to how they are, what their personality is like...When you talk about yourself, please remember you are not on the talk show, so make it nice and sweet.
If you are confident men, she will see it; you do not need to overdo it by getting carry away about yourself.
One other thing, that I've observed that some men on the date are all over the place, may be because they are nervous, or may they are used to looking all over the place to "scan for potential mate", but you already are on the date, so remember to keep your eyes on her. It makes you even look sexier, when you are looking at her eyes only.
I've also encountered some dates, where the men actually flirting with the waitress. When I saw that, I wanted to scream, and tell the girl: please get up and run! This recent situation, the guy had English accent, and the waiters tried to figure out where he was from, so the cute waitress leaned over the table and ask him that, and in response he said, "well if you guess where I am from, I will by you a drink". This is not very attractive, just plain rude. The waitress kept "coming on" to the guy (probably just fishing for a good tip!), and the guy was just leading her on. The girl who set across from him was puzzled, and confused, and I felt very bad for her. She looked very nice, and he actually looked like a slob (wrinkled shirt, and white sneakers??).
So, then guys actually ask, why there is no second date. I've been very nice to her, and the a total gentlemen. I treated her to dinner, and was very friendly and all that...
The other thing was, that the guy was just having conversation about himself, without giving her a chance to talk, you are understandably excited about meeting someone, but you need to let the other person express themselves.
When you are having conversation with the girl, you need to be real and open (not too open, no need for the drama of your life on the first date) and at the same time humble. This is very attractive to women, and also shows that you are mature and confident.
Meetings just for drinks is good, noone feels any obligations to each other (like having a dinner); but if you both feel immediate connection, moving to a dinner could be even more intimate; and then you go on from there.
If she really showed her interest, this is a good sign, but still doesn�¢??t mean anything..Unfortinately, women sometimes act the opposite when they are not attracted or interested, they act "extra" polite and "extra" nice, this is "kiss of death". Some times it is hard to figure those things out, but you'll see if she is relaxed and acts nice that there is a chance she is interested; if she is looking around, looking at the watch, doesn't look at your directly in to your eyes, but still is being very nice..well..this is just it..she wants to go home. You pick up these signs, just let go, do not try to "change" her mind, she had already made up hers. Just see if what she wants to do. She will give you the straight answer right there and then.
Tanya.
http://www.allaboutsingles.com
http://dating-advice.allaboutsingles.com
http://chat.allaboutsingles.com
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The question about the "three way" (link)
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This is a very sensitive subject for a lot of people, so you have to have the right approach. Some people will find such request from their partner
very offending.
First of all, you need to ask your partner, as to whether or not she wants to try it, and you need to be clear on your intensions (the details).
You also need to make sure, that your mates "No" answer will not interfere with your relationship in the future. If she really is
Not interested, and doesnâ??t believe in such "experiences", then you are facing her concern of whether or not you will be resentful for the rest of your life, and why do you need somebody else when you already have her.
Now, in the other hand if she agrees, and you find a person you both would feel comfortable with, make sure you realize the possible consequences!
After something like this happened, you and your partner will never be the same! (Not speaking from personal experience!).
I believe that one or both of you will wonder about another person (the third one); have some "performance" issues and insecurities; and/or will be totally crashed from the experience and the visions.
Now, if she asks for the same back, another wards she gets to be with you and another men...How do you think you will handle that?
Just imagine her with another guy, enjoying herself, and may be looking very happy...How would that make you feel? Would you be ok?
So, you are really taking a chance here! However, it may all work out for the best!
Good luck,
Regards,
Tanya.
http://www.allaboutsingles.com
http://dating-advice.allaboutsingles.com
http://chat.allaboutsingles.com
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What happens in the relationship, and how to keep it going (link)
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Why we are we so anxious to find someone to be with, to share our lives with; and then
when we find that person, we get over the initial infatuation, and start getting a little
bored and inpatient.
We start to look another way: how nice it was to be single, and do what ever we want,
be soooo available, and have our ultimate freedom of doing whatever...
However, when you are alone, you are so lonely, so you get depressed about how much
you want to meet someone..
What kind of cycle is it? Why when we get what we want, we start looking for something else
that may be missing in our life....
I think this is the tendency of ours (humans); no matter how much you have, you want more or
something new...We do not realize how much we already have, and how much it will hurt to loose
it, and how much you will miss it when it is not there...
Many times we feel that the person we are with is no longer exciting, or not interesting..he or
she doesnâ??t look the same, doesnâ??t dress the same, and doesnâ??t have as much enthusiasm to do the same
things you used to do..All of sudden, you feel like you need "space" from this person,
you need sometime apart to concentrate on your own things and your own life; you definitely do
not want to break up with this person, but you are looking for something else...
I think what happens to us (men and women);is that, we start a relationship by seeing each other
on the daily basis; overwhelmed and overjoyed by each other; can't get enough of each other
type of thing; and then we just get way to "cozy" around each other; way to 'comfortable"
way to close....There is no longer the motivation to put on the make up, dress up sexy, go out
dancing; no more desire to eat "healthy" to keep the good shape; no reason to work out..
Sounds familiar? and the problem is we do not motivate each other enough to change, we just going
with the flow; feel like oh, she/he already loves me, so what couple of pounds here and there,
who needs to dress up and look good, since we will end up crushing in the house for some?
junk food and a movie..hah? Then the relationship becomes dull, boring, sparkless..
Then we start looking for the reason to get out...
Why don't we look at this another way...Why don't we find the very reason and the very essence why we are together in the first place? Is it worth saving it all!
Why not to try to change things around, it is never too late..really..if you care enough for someone.;and if you want to be with that person for a long timeâ?¦
Why not to have a romantic dinner, versus just a regular diner or food to go..
Why not to try to look and feel sexy for each other; it is always refreshing to see your partner
looking more exciting, then the usualâ?¦
How about to try to get back to the gym (the membership youâ??ve been paying forever), and get some more energy and also get some exercise..
How about taking a long walk on the beach..have a nice conversation about how youâ??ve met;
And all the cute details about how you started going out..
How about going away for the weekend, sort of home away from home, like going to another city
About an hour or two away.
How about, going dancing like you are used to..
How about taking all the drama in your life, and try to have a positive outlook on it, and try to be
Happy and live for the day!
How about the men sends a bouquet of roses to her work (ok not so original, but it will make her feel very special)
How about the women, take off our every day dominatrix outfit, and try to be more delicate, feminine and gentle..
Meet each other for lunch; if your work schedule and distance allows that.
Try it and see what happens!
Thanks,
Tanya
http://www.allaboutsingles.com
http://dating-advice.allaboutsingles.com
http://chat.allaboutsingles.com
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How to be successful in choosing and staying in a relationship. (link)
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How to be successful in choosing and staying in a relationship.
We always ask ourselves a questions, why relationship don't last...
There is always a laundry list of things we say about each other that made the relationship to fail...
When we meet each other in our twenties, we are still growing up, and forming our characters and personalities; and the relationship usually don't work because we kind of "size each other down", till we get the "shape" we feel comfortable with, metaphorically speaking.
Another wards, we learn how to be in a relationship, and how to behave towards each other.
Then after the relationship is over, we go on and look for exactly what we got 'sized up for".
In our thirties, when we feel more mature, we have already formed and shaped our characters, personality and habits. So, chances are this is the way we are going to be for the rest of our lives; unless otherwise ther is some kind of "intervention" takes place, that makes 180 degree turn, and you change for good.
What most of men and women do not understand, that because we already "established" ourselves as characters, it is impossible to try to change someone, and why should we? So, when we do meet someone, we have to realize the fact, that this person had a life before you came in to his/hers; and have had numerous relationships, issues, problems, some of which can be really deep, and some arenâ??t...
So, it is up to you to say, these things I am willing to deal with, considering most of other important things to be great! And there would be something you will not; and do not things to close your eyes on it (you know what I am talking about); because they are not going anywhere....
There are some things, you have to simply realize comes with the territory; etc a lot of people come from painful divorces, long term relationships, broken marriages...So, if there are things you can also relate to, you can make it easier for each other, by sharing your experiences, and possibly make each other feel better. If this is not your "thing" move on.
Do not disregard anyone because of their shortcomings and issues ; perhaps you see yourself in this person, or you also have certain things about yourself, your friends and family do not tell you about or put up with.
In general, people do adjust (not change) to each other, to their partnerâ??s life stile and interests; some of us also come down a little bit coming from unpredictable single life style...So, at the end of the day, you may be very happy with the person you chose...
Another wards, we can be more open minded about the people we meet, without lowering our expectation, but simply looking objectively and realistically at the situation and the person!
What we do not realize that sometimes you meet a broken soul you can fix, and this person can become your personal hero by changing your life forever! Give each other a chance, and look deep inside, beyond what's on the surface...
regards,
Tanya.
http://www.allaboutsingles.com
http://dating-advice.allaboutsingles.com
http://chat.allaboutsingles.com
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How to write an online dating profile for men? (link)
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Here we are again, how do I write a profile for men? We are so anxious to be viewed as and perceived as the best catch ever, but do you think the women really look for perfection? I think we (women) are afraid of the perfection, because if someone is extremely good looking and perfect, makes you look very narcissistic; and make us women feel insecure about ourselves! We want some one great with down to earth qualities; some one kind and loving; someone who can respect us; and understand us a little bit.. So, you (men) need to write about what you are looking for first, etc friend; pen pal or a possible relationship, because a lot of you are not looking the same things we are. Tell us in general what your best qualities are. Most of us are looking for someone with ambitions (doesnâ??t have to be a millionaire!); some who has goals, and doesnâ??t live with his parents; someone who can take care of themselves (at least!)... When you are communicating with the prospective date do not get carried a way about your previous personal life! We just want to know the basics (had a long term relationship; was married before or not; any kids etc) not the details who's fault; and how much you despite your ex! In our late twenties and thirties, we have already fall in and out of love; we have had great and worst relationships; weâ??ve been loved, and hurt. So we do not expect you guys to be with out any "hung ups"; since most of us women have those too. The important thing is to learn from your previous experiences; and try to move on, and expect more positive and better things from your new relationship. If you have this kind of attitude (positive), you will most likely succeed in finding someone new. Your past relationships are in the past, so please keep them there...Nobody want to really hear it right a way, and nobody wants to be compared. I see a lot of this kind of mistakes; where men want to share there past with their new dates; they go on and on about how someone else who hurt them; and how miserable they are. Do you think we want to know this stuff? Not in the beginning at least. May be some men think that they will let the women see the sensitive side of them, but this is not the one we want to see... Sensitivities can be found in some of our behaviors; etc the way you respond to art, animals, kids, older people; the way you respond to news and politics..(You can score some good points this way!); she gets to see how intelligent and sensitive you are at the same time.
Thanks,
Tanya
http://www.allaboutsingles.com
Online dating advice columnist
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This is my own article about the subject:
I have a lot of friends (men and women) who are single; and I always think why these mature, intelligent, beautiful people can't they find anyone they can get along with. These are the friends I know for many years, and to me they seem like the type of people that any men or women would desire and be happy to meet, and date; the typical situation is going on numerous, endless blind and non-blind dates, and getting disappointed and many times crushed. I have had a lot of conversations with my friends trying to analyze why this happened, and I hear the same things over and over again. Their past interferes with their present. They feel like they've been hurt before, so they set them self up for failure. I think some of my friends are so used to been disappointed with meeting new people, so they actually provoke their dates, without really giving them a fare chance! With some of my female and male friends I see the same patterns of sabotaging the date for the failure, by over analyzing every ward the person said, and coming to irrational conclusions about the date and the person. Give the person a chance to explain, elaborate, before you Wright them off as a "bad seed". I always say to my friends, that if you find 80% in common with some one, you need to be able to except imperfections, other person's downfalls as well; No one is perfect, neither are you. So, if you think you will have to put up with someone’s shortcomings, do not forget that your partner will have to do deal with yours! So, try to be open minded, and more excepting to other people,...you never know what you may find!
Thank you
Tanya
(link)
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I have a lot of friends (men and women) who are single; and I always think why these mature, intelligent, beautiful people can't they find anyone they can get along with. These are the friends I know for many years, and to me they seem like the type of people that any men or women would desire and be happy to meet, and date; the typical situation is going on numerous, endless blind and non-blind dates, and getting disappointed and many times crushed. I have had a lot of conversations with my friends trying to analyze why this happened, and I hear the same things over and over again. Their past interferes with their present. They feel like they've been hurt before, so they set them self up for failure. I think some of my friends are so used to been disappointed with meeting new people, so they actually provoke their dates, without really giving them a fare chance! With some of my female and male friends I see the same patterns of sabotaging the date for the failure, by over analyzing every ward the person said, and coming to irrational conclusions about the date and the person. Give the person a chance to explain, elaborate, before you Wright them off as a "bad seed". I always say to my friends, that if you find 80% in common with some one, you need to be able to except imperfections, other person's downfalls as well; No one is perfect, neither are you. So, if you think you will have to put up with someoneâ??s shortcomings, do not forget that your partner will have to do deal with yours! So, try to be open minded, and more excepting to other people,...you never know what you may find!
Tanya
http://www.allaboutsingles.com
http://dating-advice.allaboutsingles.com
http://chat.allaboutsingles.com
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