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Dating Tips/why we fail


Question Posted Monday July 17 2006, 3:31 am

This is my own article about the subject:
I have a lot of friends (men and women) who are single; and I always think why these mature, intelligent, beautiful people can't they find anyone they can get along with. These are the friends I know for many years, and to me they seem like the type of people that any men or women would desire and be happy to meet, and date; the typical situation is going on numerous, endless blind and non-blind dates, and getting disappointed and many times crushed. I have had a lot of conversations with my friends trying to analyze why this happened, and I hear the same things over and over again. Their past interferes with their present. They feel like they've been hurt before, so they set them self up for failure. I think some of my friends are so used to been disappointed with meeting new people, so they actually provoke their dates, without really giving them a fare chance! With some of my female and male friends I see the same patterns of sabotaging the date for the failure, by over analyzing every ward the person said, and coming to irrational conclusions about the date and the person. Give the person a chance to explain, elaborate, before you Wright them off as a "bad seed". I always say to my friends, that if you find 80% in common with some one, you need to be able to except imperfections, other person's downfalls as well; No one is perfect, neither are you. So, if you think you will have to put up with someone’s shortcomings, do not forget that your partner will have to do deal with yours! So, try to be open minded, and more excepting to other people,...you never know what you may find!
Thank you
Tanya


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Tanyaw answered Monday July 17 2006, 3:43 am:
I have a lot of friends (men and women) who are single; and I always think why these mature, intelligent, beautiful people can't they find anyone they can get along with. These are the friends I know for many years, and to me they seem like the type of people that any men or women would desire and be happy to meet, and date; the typical situation is going on numerous, endless blind and non-blind dates, and getting disappointed and many times crushed. I have had a lot of conversations with my friends trying to analyze why this happened, and I hear the same things over and over again. Their past interferes with their present. They feel like they've been hurt before, so they set them self up for failure. I think some of my friends are so used to been disappointed with meeting new people, so they actually provoke their dates, without really giving them a fare chance! With some of my female and male friends I see the same patterns of sabotaging the date for the failure, by over analyzing every ward the person said, and coming to irrational conclusions about the date and the person. Give the person a chance to explain, elaborate, before you Wright them off as a "bad seed". I always say to my friends, that if you find 80% in common with some one, you need to be able to except imperfections, other person's downfalls as well; No one is perfect, neither are you. So, if you think you will have to put up with someoneâ??s shortcomings, do not forget that your partner will have to do deal with yours! So, try to be open minded, and more excepting to other people,...you never know what you may find!

Tanya


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