Member Since: August 31, 2008
Answers: 10
Last Update: September 2, 2008
Visitors: 1822
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so im 16/f a jonior in high school.
okay so in 8th grade i went out with this guy he was in 6th but we aren't far apart in age bc i have a later birthday. I really liked being with him and i know thats wierd bc i was only 14 but i did. he was my first real boyfriend and it was really great. well i broke up with him after i graduated to high school bc i was getting sick of all the crap from everyone else sayin hes only gonna be in 7th grade when your a freshman. Seriously, i regret breakin up with him!
well now hes a freshman and im a jonior but its so different in high school with age and every thing no one tells you about it like in jonior high and i just could care less what anyone
thinks anyway. Well i dont know how he feels and we have no classes together but i see him in the hall a lot, hes in my lunch shift too. when i look at him i feel such a big connection and i cant ignore it. we are the only 2 in the room and i cant concentrate in school or anything, i have never ever felt like this before. i havent caught him staring at me extensively but if our eyes catch somethings there like a spark you know? well the homecoming dance is coming up in october and i reallllly really wanna go with him but i dont think he will ask me, he is a little shy. but i dont wanna ask and get turned down or maybe he already has a date or something but its killing me and i need to go with him. so the question is how do i start a convo with him kind of randomly i guess and how do/will i know if he likes me too if he wont make the first move?!
please please helpl!!
ps. hes the only guy i have ever really dated still...oh i just like him a lot help! (link)
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The first thing that I want to explain to you is this, Do not listen to what other people have to say to you about how you live your life. They don't live your life and not everyone chooses to live the same lives as their friends. The reason for that is because everyone is different. Your go ahead for possibly going out with this guy again should not be determines whether or not people are saying things or not. There will come a point in time when you mature through this and will realize that the only thing that matters is what you beleive and staying true to yourself. It may be said a lot, but its said a lot for a reason.
I would suggest that you ask him to hang out with you one day, and see how that goes. It's not a date, you can either go get dinner, walk in the park, get ice cream, do whatever. As long as you guys are talking, then it's a good idea. I wouldn't go to a movie because you can't talk during a movie.
He does not have to be the one that makes the first move. There is nothing wrong with the female taking the first step, anyone who says differently is either sexist or just plain ignorant. Again, live the life that YOU want to live. You only get one, and it should never be dictated by someone else who isn't living it for themselves. At the end of the first day that you guys hang out, suggest that you guys do it again. You may want to try a few times to guage how he feels about you. If things go extremely well, then you can tell him on the first day. I would say either on the second or the third day you guys hang out, that you find a place where you two can talk. You guys don't have to be all alone, but somewhere private enough where you can hold a closed conversation with just eachother. I would suggest either a coffee shop, a park, ice cream shop like Baskin Robbins. Somewhere quiet and comfortable where you two can think and talk without being pressured or uncomfortable.
If you are having doubts about making the move because you want him to do it first, then let me ask you a question.
Do you want him to make the first move because you don't want to ask and be let down? Or is it simply because you don't want others to say anything about you making the first step? I already addressed the second question twice now. I'm feeling that it is indeed the first question that I asked you and you are afraid of being turned down.
That is a reasonable fear. However, another thing you will learn as you grow and mature through life, is that life is full of taking risks. Most decisions do not come easy, and we have to learn that sometimes we are not always going to get the things that we want, even if we try very hard. What is WORSE however, is not knowing what could have been. Think about how you are feeling right now. Think about all the anticipation that you feel, all the questioning of what is really going on, does he have a date? Does he like me? Then think about if you asked him. What is the absolute worse thing that he could do? Say no, he is going with someone else, or no because he doesn't like you in that way.
He is your friend I'm assuming, and since he is your friend, think about how he would dish out rejection. He surely wouldn't make fun of you for it, or make you feel like crap for doing it. You said it yourself that he is shy, so you asking is probably the best way to go about it. That would be if he says no. Now what if he says yes? Surely, it was worth then taking the risk, and screw off to everybody who wants to make something out of it. Even if he does say no however, you will at least no, and can still be friends with him. The guessing game however, which is by and large always the worse part, will be over.
I do not know what his answer will be, but I can GURANTEE YOU 100% without a doubt, that if you don't ask him, come Homecoming you will feel 20x worse than you do now because you will not only be guessing how he feels about you, but what the end result would have been if you indeed took the risk.
Life moves on through tougher trials,and we only live once. Even if we don't get the things that we desire, knowing that we tried everything possibly to get it, at least gives us 100% assurance that it just wasn't in the plans to receive what we THOUGHT we wanted.
-Mitch
Update:: This is in response to the question that you asked me on my comments page. Your friend said that he MIGHT like somebody else. Then think about how SURE she is about that, probably not even close to 100 percent. So you really have no idea if he really likes some other girl. The best way to find out as I have said, is to just ask him. You will feel horrible if you don't ask him and have to keep wondering, the worse he could say is "no".
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Okay so I have this sharp breath taking pain in my left breast. I don't know what it could be. I mean is it a sign of my period, or is it a sign of breast canser or what.
What should i do , i would rather wait for my parents to be my last resort.
14/f/usa (link)
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I do not know your parents, so I do not know why you may not want to consolt them but there are some logical things you need to consider.
Let's assume that, God forbid, it's something horrible like Breast Cancer. If you knew you had Breast Cancer, you would of course want it treated and would have to consolt your parents anyways. That would be IF you knew you had Breast cancer. In all honesty, none of us here are doctors, and we for sure can't diagnose someone over the computer. So you would have to try and tell for yourself whether or not you had breast cancer or not. But you don't know how to do that either, after all, you are asking for people's advice online. Even if you had a slight idea of how to check, when would you decide that you had enough evidence to confirm that you had it? You again, would have to find your parents and tell them. Unfortunatly, the situation could be really out of hand and seeing a doctor might not help.
Not being a woman, I don't know what the female body goes through right before their period. Even if you are about to have one, no one can say for sure if that is the cause of the pain or simply a coincidence. If you wait to find out, again, it may be too late.
Please do yourself a favor and tell your parents about this so they can ask you questions and hopefully see a medical practictionor, if that is indeed what they think is best for you. Always air on the side of caution and see a doctor. No one here can tell for sure what that pain is and we are only guessing. Go to someone who is medically trained and can tell you exactly what your body is doing.
Hope this helps and I usually don't tell people that they should take my advice, that's up to them. I am asking you however, to please do this for yourself. It will save you a lot of worrying and when your finished and everything is ok, you will be much more glad that you did it instead of guessing, even if it is nothing, which God willing it is.
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okie i know what FBLA means and what it represents, it says if i join i get a free scholarship is this free? do i have to serve or do anything when im done with high school? if i join? thxs (link)
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They probably mean that you have the chance to get a scholarship through FBLA. I'm sure they have a website that you can look at to see for yourself.
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I just started college last week, and I already have written one short paper. I am a fairly good writer when it comes to expressing my thoughts and ideas, but I would like to have someone proofread my paper(s) occasionally, such as when I have a large one with a big chunk of my grade in jeopardy. Does anyone know a site that can connect me to people who will do this for free (I tried to google this matter, but I didn't exactly find anything). Or would anyone on this site be willing to help? Haha. It might seem far fetched, but I figured it was worth a shot. (link)
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There are several things that you can do for free.
The first thing that you can try is finding your teacher during his/her office hours and ask him/her to proofread it for you.
If that doesn't work, you can just go to your library and look for a writing workshop type of place that most have.
If that doesn't work, check if they have one in the English Building that is on Campus.
If that doesn't work, than you can ask other students to peer edit it,
Only after all of those should you solicit for help online.
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hi, 16/m :).
well on thursday, im starting college (equivalent of High School in the states?), and ive always been really really lacking in the confidence section of life. Im confident around my close circle of friends, and my close family. Anyone apart from them, and i just sit there, quietly. Obviousely i want to sort this problem out, i dont want to be quiet for the next two years.
The reason i thought i was quiet, was because everyone knew i was quiet at my last school. Even if i wanted to say something, or have an opinion, everyone would be shocked, because they most likely hadn't heard me speak for 5 years! I'm doubting this is the reason, as at college (induction) i was quite quiet also. Can anyone at all help me to sort this out, before it carries on to when i get a job? i dont want to be, "that really quiet guy" for the rest of my life! help? :) (link)
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Your really the only person who can change that. No one else can really make you talk more.
It sounds like your telling me that part of the reason that you don't talk is because you already have an image that is associated with you of being the quiet person the group. That is the reason your being quiet, yet you don't want to keep the image. Something has to give here. Obviously your friends may be a little surprised.....so what? Haha, I mean honestly, do you think your friends will judge you because your coming out of your shell? If that is the case, they weren't your true friends to begin with. They will eventually get over the intial shock and get used to you being social.
Overall my friend, the decision is up to you. No one but yourself is going to allow you to speak more. No one is going to give you an introduction to speak whenever the oppurtunity arised when your with a group of friends. Take the leap, and start talking. If you give a suggestion and people are critical towards it, defend your viewpoints. If something is said that you don't like after you speak, don't take that as a sign that you should never talk again, because that happens to everyone, even the most social of us all.
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So, my boyfriend has a best friend named Tessa. Tessa and I have been best friends for awhile, and me, my boyfriend, and her have the same circle of friends. We have been friends long before I started dating my boyfriend. Anyway, Tessa is always inviting my boyfriend to go places with her. To her house, to her godfathers lake house, ect. I know they are friends and all, but this makes me very uncomfortable. I know Tessa has liked my boyfriend in the past, and she says she doesn't like him now, but still. I know if she had a boyfriend that I was good friends with I wouldn't invite him over my house alone, so I don't understand why she would do that to me? So basically, what should I do? I know my boyfriend hates being put in the middle because I tell him he can't hang out with her alone. But should I let him even though it bugs me? This has caused a huge fight between me and Tessa, and I can't ever imagine being friends with her again. Ugh, what do I do! (link)
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This is a really good question, and one that can be remedied.
The first thing that you have to ask yourself is this, and truly be honest with yourself. Why do you not want your boyfriend to be alone with this girl? Is it because you don't trust him alone with Tessa, or is it because you don't trust her and are worried that any advances that she makes may not be protested by your boyfriend?
What is critical for you to understand is that, both men and women will of course have friends outside of the relationship with people of the same sex as their other. It sounds like you know this and haven't prevented it. You should become worried, when it becomes very constant with a specific person which could indicate that something else is going on.
Your friend said that she has liked him before, and lots of times, feelings don't go off like a light switch. I'm willing to bet that the reason that she wants to hang out with your boyfriend all the time is because she really does like him still. When two people are going out and one person is being constantly contacted by another who is of the opposite sex, both boyfriend and girlfriend should be contacted, because there is not much that can't be done with all three people, if anything at all. It really seems suspicious because you are both in the same circle of friends. If you didn't know Tessa, it would be understandable for her not to invite you since she doesn't really know who you are.
If you truly trust your boyfriend, then there is absolutly no reason why you shouldn't be able to allow him to hang out with someone else. He does have a right anyways, to hang out with who he wants. However, you also have the right to tell him what you suspect and why you do so. Ask him if he wouldn't mind, the next time Tessa invites him to do something, that she invite you as well. That's not out of the question considering that you guys are within the same group of friends.
Try and make up with her, she is your friend and you should be able to trust her if you really think she is that close to you. Explain how you may have jumped to conclusions but tell her the reasons why you think so. Considering that you and your boyfriend are going out, having concerns is not out of the question, but you need to do a few things before you either cut yourself off from her completely or tell your bf to never hang with her again.
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Ok, so me and my boyfriend had sex, and there was a hole in the condom. He said nothing came out so could I still be pregnant? (link)
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It is very possible that you may be pregnant.
He says that "nothing came out".
Does he mean that nothing came out of the hole in the condom, or that nothing came out when he orgasmed? Most males by the time they have sex, ejaculate sperm and semen. If he did have an orgasm, then he most likely did both.
If he didn't orgasm and that is why he said that he never came out, you could still possibly be pregnant. Before an ejaculation, most men release semen prior to ejaculation, this is also known as "pre-cum". Even though he may not be ejaculating, there can still be presence of sperm in the Semen. You should buy a pregnancy test, which I don't beleive you need parental permission for if you are underage.
If you still have any questions, there is loads of information online that can help you with such a question.
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Alright, so there's this guy that I'm friends with and right now I just want to be friends with him, but I think he wants to be more than that. I'm 16 and female. I told him that I didn't want anymore than friendship right now, and he understood. But, now I just want to hang out as friends, but I think he might think that I'm ready to be more than friends and it's only been a couple of weeks. I like him, and I don't want to hurt his feelings. I mean, I think I like him, but I don't know if it's just because he's the first guy that's actually seemed interested in me in a while, or if I'm just being a bitch and I'm going to break his heart if I don't show the same feelings for him. I don't know what to do. Thanks for the help! (link)
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You shouldn't call yourself a "bitch". You can't control those natural feelings that you do or do not have for someone else. If they are simply not there, that is just nature taking its course, God's work, far from being a "bitch".
If you want to go out with someone, it should be because you KNOW you really like this guy. You should never go out with someone just because you are friends with a person and think you MAY be able to start liking him.
It's really something that you can't describe in words of when you know you have that feeling. From a 19 year old who has had both crushes and has been madly in love, trust me, it comes naturally and you will know for sure without much hesitation that it is really there.
Also, you should never feel pressured into going out with someone, or trying to convice yourself that you like someone just because they like you. Loving and liking someone are not always mutual, that is sadly just the way things work out. If he keeps advancing on to you in ways that would indicate that he likes you more than just friends, you have to explain to him that if you had any feelings for him, you would tell him.
This way you are telling him up front that he shouldn't expect anything more than that. If he is truly a great friend, he will understand that. If he can't handle that, he is either to immature at this point, or he wasn't a good friend to begin with, even if you think he was.
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ok im really close with this girl and I really like her I've told her how I felt but she just wants to be friends shes afraid that if we were to take a step further it would affect our friendship so what do I do? (link)
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You have to try and understand what she means by that. If something were to happen between you two and you ended up breaking up, that could really affect the friendship and never be the same again.
You can never really say that if you guys end up breaking up, that you will still remain friends because you don't know what could possibly happen. You obviously can't force her to go along with her. However, you can consider what she is saying. What she is saying is a possibility if you two were to go out. If that is a risk you are willing to take, explain that to her and tell her that if something were to go wrong, you are confident that your friendship can tolerate it.
If she is not receptive to the idea, you are going to have to let her be and just continue being friends with her.
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I told my best friend I loved him because he has said so many times he loves me but he has a GF so today I got so upset and finnaly told him I was falling in love and he said nothing just gave me a blank face so i said I had to go and ran away. I cant talk to him anymore and he wont talk to me. I know I shouldnt have said anyhting and now I dont know what to do. We have tried not talking before because we had dated then broken up and then we strted to talk agian and the feelings came back but stronger so IDK what to do he is my best friend and i have fallin for him but now he wont talk to me. Please someone Help me
-Funsize (link)
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It seems that your in a precarious situation. If you hang out with your friend, it seems that you are always going to have these feelings for him, and when you don't hang out with him, then those feelings are gone.
I would suggest, that just to get back on speaking terms, you have to realize something. You guys are just friends, and that is how he defines this relationship with you. You need to treat him like a friend. It's obvious that he is not attracted to the idea of you loving him when he is going out with somebody else. As long as he is going out with this individual, you have to accept that all you are for the moment is friends and support his decision.
I would assume that you want to talk to him again continue that friendship. What you will need to do is apologise for what you had said, and explain that at the moment you only want to be friends and that only. I'm going to assume that he will eventually break up with this girl at some point, so bide your time. A bit after he is broken up with this girl, see how he acts around you again. If he is treating you the way he did before, and telling you that he loves you, then that may be a sign. If he doesn't approach you, then after a while you can make the first move.
Ask him what he meant when he said that he loved you and find out if it is the same feelings of love that you have for him. If it does indeed turn out that he loves you the way that you love him, than express your feelings for him again. If he only loves you as a friend, than you are going to have to make a decision.
You obviously have strong feelings for this person, but you can never force another one to love you. If he doesn't have the same feelings for you, your either going to have to accept just his friendship and put aside your feelings of love, or break all communication with him.
I hope this helps, and I'll be glad to try and help you further if you should need it.
-Mitch
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