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Theres such a connection when i see him
so im 16/f a jonior in high school.
okay so in 8th grade i went out with this guy he was in 6th but we aren't far apart in age bc i have a later birthday. I really liked being with him and i know thats wierd bc i was only 14 but i did. he was my first real boyfriend and it was really great. well i broke up with him after i graduated to high school bc i was getting sick of all the crap from everyone else sayin hes only gonna be in 7th grade when your a freshman. Seriously, i regret breakin up with him!
well now hes a freshman and im a jonior but its so different in high school with age and every thing no one tells you about it like in jonior high and i just could care less what anyone
thinks anyway. Well i dont know how he feels and we have no classes together but i see him in the hall a lot, hes in my lunch shift too. when i look at him i feel such a big connection and i cant ignore it. we are the only 2 in the room and i cant concentrate in school or anything, i have never ever felt like this before. i havent caught him staring at me extensively but if our eyes catch somethings there like a spark you know? well the homecoming dance is coming up in october and i reallllly really wanna go with him but i dont think he will ask me, he is a little shy. but i dont wanna ask and get turned down or maybe he already has a date or something but its killing me and i need to go with him. so the question is how do i start a convo with him kind of randomly i guess and how do/will i know if he likes me too if he wont make the first move?!
please please helpl!!
ps. hes the only guy i have ever really dated still...oh i just like him a lot help!
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ohmygod this is so weird.
I had the same problem!
I got alot of crap from EVERYBODY even my family for going out with him. But me and him learned to ignore it and just focus on being in love, my friends all gave me a hard time and everything and were telling me to break up with him.
But something inside me knew i belonged with him.
Dont listen to what people say, beacause now weve been going ut for seven months and im so happy.
But anyways, heres what you do-
next time you see him smile and if he returns the signal- say hey to him.
And talk for a while, and then bring up the dance and ask if hes going with anybody.
If he says no- make your move however you wish (:
But if hes going with someone it doesnt neceserrily mean they're going out. So go anyway just to hang out, and maybe hang out with him.
If he doesnt seem interested move on- but i highly doubt that will happen because from what you've said you two seem to have a connection.
Anyways, good luck and i hope you two turn out happy.
(:
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The first thing that I want to explain to you is this, Do not listen to what other people have to say to you about how you live your life. They don't live your life and not everyone chooses to live the same lives as their friends. The reason for that is because everyone is different. Your go ahead for possibly going out with this guy again should not be determines whether or not people are saying things or not. There will come a point in time when you mature through this and will realize that the only thing that matters is what you beleive and staying true to yourself. It may be said a lot, but its said a lot for a reason.
I would suggest that you ask him to hang out with you one day, and see how that goes. It's not a date, you can either go get dinner, walk in the park, get ice cream, do whatever. As long as you guys are talking, then it's a good idea. I wouldn't go to a movie because you can't talk during a movie.
He does not have to be the one that makes the first move. There is nothing wrong with the female taking the first step, anyone who says differently is either sexist or just plain ignorant. Again, live the life that YOU want to live. You only get one, and it should never be dictated by someone else who isn't living it for themselves. At the end of the first day that you guys hang out, suggest that you guys do it again. You may want to try a few times to guage how he feels about you. If things go extremely well, then you can tell him on the first day. I would say either on the second or the third day you guys hang out, that you find a place where you two can talk. You guys don't have to be all alone, but somewhere private enough where you can hold a closed conversation with just eachother. I would suggest either a coffee shop, a park, ice cream shop like Baskin Robbins. Somewhere quiet and comfortable where you two can think and talk without being pressured or uncomfortable.
If you are having doubts about making the move because you want him to do it first, then let me ask you a question.
Do you want him to make the first move because you don't want to ask and be let down? Or is it simply because you don't want others to say anything about you making the first step? I already addressed the second question twice now. I'm feeling that it is indeed the first question that I asked you and you are afraid of being turned down.
That is a reasonable fear. However, another thing you will learn as you grow and mature through life, is that life is full of taking risks. Most decisions do not come easy, and we have to learn that sometimes we are not always going to get the things that we want, even if we try very hard. What is WORSE however, is not knowing what could have been. Think about how you are feeling right now. Think about all the anticipation that you feel, all the questioning of what is really going on, does he have a date? Does he like me? Then think about if you asked him. What is the absolute worse thing that he could do? Say no, he is going with someone else, or no because he doesn't like you in that way.
He is your friend I'm assuming, and since he is your friend, think about how he would dish out rejection. He surely wouldn't make fun of you for it, or make you feel like crap for doing it. You said it yourself that he is shy, so you asking is probably the best way to go about it. That would be if he says no. Now what if he says yes? Surely, it was worth then taking the risk, and screw off to everybody who wants to make something out of it. Even if he does say no however, you will at least no, and can still be friends with him. The guessing game however, which is by and large always the worse part, will be over.
I do not know what his answer will be, but I can GURANTEE YOU 100% without a doubt, that if you don't ask him, come Homecoming you will feel 20x worse than you do now because you will not only be guessing how he feels about you, but what the end result would have been if you indeed took the risk.
Life moves on through tougher trials,and we only live once. Even if we don't get the things that we desire, knowing that we tried everything possibly to get it, at least gives us 100% assurance that it just wasn't in the plans to receive what we THOUGHT we wanted.
-Mitch
Update:: This is in response to the question that you asked me on my comments page. Your friend said that he MIGHT like somebody else. Then think about how SURE she is about that, probably not even close to 100 percent. So you really have no idea if he really likes some other girl. The best way to find out as I have said, is to just ask him. You will feel horrible if you don't ask him and have to keep wondering, the worse he could say is "no".
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Well im not sure about this but its 50 50 chance. when you have your lunch shift casually say hey and walk to where ever you sit.another day talk to him about how you dont like the tension between you.then ask whether he is going to the dance. If he says i already have a date or something quickly defend yourself by saying oh thats not what i meant i was just trying to be friendly. say you are goin but you dont know who with because plenty have guys asked you out but your no sure the right has asked.
Sorry a little long hope it helped
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