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confidence for college?
hi, 16/m :).
well on thursday, im starting college (equivalent of High School in the states?), and ive always been really really lacking in the confidence section of life. Im confident around my close circle of friends, and my close family. Anyone apart from them, and i just sit there, quietly. Obviousely i want to sort this problem out, i dont want to be quiet for the next two years.
The reason i thought i was quiet, was because everyone knew i was quiet at my last school. Even if i wanted to say something, or have an opinion, everyone would be shocked, because they most likely hadn't heard me speak for 5 years! I'm doubting this is the reason, as at college (induction) i was quite quiet also. Can anyone at all help me to sort this out, before it carries on to when i get a job? i dont want to be, "that really quiet guy" for the rest of my life! help? :)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
oo i have the same problem
i just read some advice on a website. it said that when you're in a social situation and you're so nervous you cant talk, imagine the WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME, like everyone laughing at you or everyone hating you b/c you said that one comment; then it will make you realize how easy your fear is to conquer b/c nobody acts like that..
i have yet to try it out IRL but it makes sense to me..
also remember that the more you talk with someone, the easier it will get to talk to them. so if you mess up and piss them off or w/e, its ok. at least you have experience with just talking to them. maybe next time you can apologize and ask to start over.
good luck
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That's cute. Anyway, the person below me is right. I'm kinda shy too, so I started hanging out with REALLY bold, outgoing people, just to see if some of that would rub off. I'd be lying if I said it didnt. Of course, it doesn't work for everyone, but sometimes all you need is a small push. Some of us break out of our shells when we want to, when we're ready to, and that's fine. Not everyone's gonna act the same. Sometimes you just need to tell yourself "allright now, I'm being ri-fucking-diculous. No one's gonna laugh at me for TALKING. And what do I care if they look at me? God gave me a mouth to speak, just like he gave them eyes to look, so enough of that. I gotta get over it." You can also do what did, though if you feel someone is pressuring you into doing something they KNOW makes you uncomfortable, loose them. Friends don't force friends to do anything, and they certainly do not make you feel ashamed of changing for the better. They encourage you to. Now that you're going into college, you can be a brand new person. No one knows you, so you can be a clean slate. Be whoever you wanna be, without compromising who you really are, of course. I hope some of this makes sense to you in some way, and more importantly, I hope I've helped you. <3's.
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Your really the only person who can change that. No one else can really make you talk more.
It sounds like your telling me that part of the reason that you don't talk is because you already have an image that is associated with you of being the quiet person the group. That is the reason your being quiet, yet you don't want to keep the image. Something has to give here. Obviously your friends may be a little surprised.....so what? Haha, I mean honestly, do you think your friends will judge you because your coming out of your shell? If that is the case, they weren't your true friends to begin with. They will eventually get over the intial shock and get used to you being social.
Overall my friend, the decision is up to you. No one but yourself is going to allow you to speak more. No one is going to give you an introduction to speak whenever the oppurtunity arised when your with a group of friends. Take the leap, and start talking. If you give a suggestion and people are critical towards it, defend your viewpoints. If something is said that you don't like after you speak, don't take that as a sign that you should never talk again, because that happens to everyone, even the most social of us all.
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